Life Of Agony River Runs Red 1993 Life Of Agony is: Alan Robert: Bass/vocals Keith Caputo: Lead vocals/keyboards Sal Abruscato: Drums Joey Z.: Guitar/vocals 1: This Time 2: Underground 3: Monday 4: River Runs Red 5: Through and Through 6: Words and Music 7: Thursday 8: Bad Seed 9: My Eyes 10: Respect 11: Method of Groove 12: The Stain Remains 13: Friday 1: This Time When all is said and done I'll always be your son But all is not forgiven Well I'm on my knees pleading Just 'cause I'm grown you think I don't need Much more than what you've ever given me CHORUS So when we gonna get together Seems there's no time for me You act like you got forever You've got time, but you ain't got time for me You said you've got time But you ain't got time for me Now that you've gone and tossed The bottle away now will ya Start a new life with the new wife Well she'll never be my mother I suppose that you know you oughta Remember the ones you left behind CHORUS You're just letting it slip away now You act like things are fine Iknow you think you've been born again But this time You're leaving your son behind This time This time This time 2: Underground If you don't walk with me, I will walk alone Hard enough to believe in myself When I know they don't believe in me Unwilling to change for society I'll be who I wanna be I wanna tear it up, tear it out Get my aggression out This is what we're here for, control the dance floor This is why we're here I said, this is why we're here So when will it end, when will it end When will they comprehend, comprehend That we will overcome this system I said this is why we're here They keep on kicking me down, kicking me down Tryin' to keep me underground, underground But did I mention we were paving the way For the new breed of bad seed We'll never let up until we hear every voice scream Screamin' these words, screamin' these words 'Til every voice is heard, voice is heard They keep on screamin' these words, screamin' these words 'Til every voice is heard... Calling from the underground! I can feel it in the air I breathe! I can see we all agree Unwilling tochange for society We'll be who we wanna be We are the underground We are the underground 3: Monday (Street sounds; door opens; sound of television, crying baby and mother in the kitchen) MOTHER: Yeah, sure, now you walk in! You walk in now, four o'clock! You're one hour late for dinner! You know, the school called me today and told me you'd been playing hooky. Do you know that? Who do you think you are? Don't walk away from me! Don't walk away from me! (Door opens and closes; Mother's voice muffled; Kid takes off coat, rewinds tape on answering machine.) GIRLFRIEND: Hi. It's me. I just wanted to tell you that, I don't know if you know this, but we haven't really been gettin' along lately. And, I just don't feel the same anymore. And, I hope we can still be friends and all, but I don't wanna go out with you anymore. Sorry. (Long silence; Beep) 4: River Runs Red I got the razor at my wrist 'Cause I can't resist I've got this fever burnin' fist That does as I wish But when I get downtown And see what's around I just know there's got to be A better place to be found CHORUS Oh, God help me The river runs red and I think I'm dyin' Well I knew there'd come a day When my mind would say "Hey are you afraid" Well all I know is that I been down here tryin' Well, I'll bleed on through the night I suppose I'll bedead by the morning light No don't be surprised if you mind when you find me CHORUS Oh, God help me 5: Through and Through You've got that look in your eye again It's working overtime Worried about where I'm gonna spend my life But it's much too late, it's much too late Oh it's much too late to start picking fights You said: Where ya been, where ya been Where ya going to, where ya going to, where ya going to? 'Cause I'm right here, yeah Can't it wait, can't it wait, can't it wait Just a minute now, just a minute now, come on CHORUS I need some air to breathe I need some space, just leave 'Cause I'm colder than ever (colder than ever) I said I'm colder than ever I'm empty, empty through and through Someday they'll see, someday I'll be Unwanting of somewhere to hide But for now I'll take shelter Deep in the back of my mind Can it wait? Can't you wait? 'Cause I ain't ready to lay it on the line I still shake, I still shake From this chill in my spine I've got this chill yeah In the back of my spine Baby all the time now Chilling my bones, chilling all alone now Find a way, find a way, I've found a way To cope with the everyday now Raise your hands if you understand CHORUS Smiling's just a phase yeah And nothing can phase me 6: Words and Music Is there something wrong with me? Ripping through the walls Tearing at the doors of education Not that it's my fault I just can't help but sort Through the pieces Secluded from the whore I focus at the board-I'm out of focus CHORUS There must be a way There's got to be a way to overcome this It's these words and music That keeps me living, keeps me breathing It may not be much But this is all I got And I'm smiling It all seems so pointless The hours seem so endless And for what? I'd rather be working Breaking my back doing something CHORUS At least I have my brothers, my band and my lover What more could I need? I buried my friend the other day And I saw my life in a different way It was a cold afternoon for a funeral I did not shed a tear as I watched the snow fall Is there something wrong with me? When did I become this empty? As I gazed down at his grave I knew that someday I'd end up That way! 7: Thursday (Street sounds; door opens; sounds of television, baby crying and Mother in the kitchen) MOTHER: Eh, back so soon? You know, don't you have a decent pair of pants you can put on? You look like a...a PIG walking in the street! Your hands, your face-filthy! You disgust me! I can't believe you live in this house! You repulse me. I want to throw up! (Phone rings) Goddamn kids! (Door opens and closes) MOTHER: Right! Slam the door again on me! You know, you're just like your father! (Voice becomes muffled; sound of answering machine tape rewinding) BOSS: Yeah, I'm callin' 'em now...Hello? Hello? Pick up the phone! Where the fuck are you? What's the matter, you just decided not to come to work today? What the fuck is wrong with you? Ya fuckin' lowlife! Hey, you know what? Don't even bother coming in anymore. I've had enough with you and your shit. That's it, you're fired. You understand me? Fired. Don't come back here, fuck you, and goodbye. (Silence on machine; sound of cigarette lighter; beep) MRS. GLICKER: Hello, this is Mrs. Glicker. I'm calling to reach you about, to let you know, that, uh, you, you're not graduating this year because you are failing two subjects and I need to see you as soon as possible. Be in my office on Monday at 8:30 a.m., promptly, and we'll discuss this matter further. Thank you. Bye. (Phone hangs up; silence; beep; shuts off machine) 8: Bad Seed Am I to blame? If I won't speak her name, if I won't face her grave Maybe I'm to blame, maybe I'm to blame Since you're gone, I've never felt the same Well maybe I'm just a bad seed Of the family I'll get my sleep without tear-stained sheets And I'll never come cryin' for sympathy Well I need a place to run to Yeah I need a place to hide Yeah I need a place where I don't need a smile as my disguise Am I to blame? If I won't face your grave Am I to blame? Am I to blame? If I cannot bear to face your grave And mother please shine down on me Show me that I'm not the bad seed Maybe I'm to blame, maybe I'm to blame Since you're gone I never felt the same Well maybe my mind's deceiving me But I think you took the easy way out You left me standing there empty handed As soon as you put the gun in your mouth So please don't keep on asking If there's something wrong 'Cause you know damn well if I was fine I would've never ever written this song Am I to blame? If I won't face your grave 9: My Eyes A little older, little wiser With every breath I learn just a little more ANd with all I've seen, I've finally made up my mind Enough of this world Enough blood in these eyes So, so, so sick of this life CHORUS It's about time I realized Release this hate from inside Enough blood in my eyes Call it what you will Call it suicide Disregard how you feel I'm just freeing my mind Clench my teeth as I sleep So, so, so sick of this life Cannot take, cannot fake Can't shake this blood from these eyes CHORUS All I have and all I will be Nevertheless I'll live for all eternity 'Cause you can't erase my words, can't erase my mind You can't wipe out my thoughts Can't shake this blood from my eyes So, so, so don't even try CHORUS Just give me one good reason to live I'll give you three to die Let's leave this world behind 10: Respect From day one I could not comprehend Was it us, was it me or was it them? Friends will come and go as it seems And now I have no shoulder on which to lean Still I do not understand You break your back for something Well where's the fans? CHORUS Show me-respect And I'll Show me-show you right back I see the boys that I once called my friends They'll fake a smile and then they'll shake your hand When will this ever end? I look around at my brothers My only true friends CHORUS You got a lot to learn my friend You've got a lot to learn about respect 11: Method of Groove We've got the method of groove that grabbed your attention Now that you're aware we're gonna give you the message My father taught me many things Living deaf, dumb and blind will get you nothing SO listen up and hear what I have to say It's never too late to learn in this day and age We'll point you in a new direction Passed down to this generation If you've learned anything from me It would be to hold on to your dreams Learn from my mistakes And it will take off some of the weight He said, "You got your whole life to live, And so much more to give Never compromise and you will never live a lie." He said, "Son, remember where you came from." We never doubted ourselves for a minute Oh they may criticize and compromise, but we were always in it So come on down and see what this is all about It's in our soul, on the road, wherever we may go So wake up, nothing can stop us We got the chaos so just let us Provide the lines that make your mind spend the time Think before you sink to the bottom He said, "Son, remember where you came from." 12: The Stain Remains Was it me? Honestly Turn away from my purity Never look back and don't look ahead At those lies that night or empty promises It's the blood in your tears The pain in your veins The lies, the cries, only the Only the stain remains Everyday-I live it Everyday-I face it Everyday-I hate it All I need is me and that's it I wish I could turn back the hands of time And maybe I would believe in a dream I cannot even see Close your ears if you don't want to hear Let me make myself perfectly clear I don't believe your dream even exists Save your prayers and solve your problems with your fist Sometimes I don't see any point in life Can't seem to break away From the pain that's here to stay All I need, set me free All I need, set me free All I need, set me free All I need...is me! 13: Friday (Street sounds; Door opens and closes; sounds of baby crying and television) MOTHER: That's right! That's all you do, just sit in front of the TV! FATHER: Hey, don't break my balls, shut up already! MOTHER: You're not gonna help! I gotta deal with your kids and that loser son of yours... FATHER: I work hard all day and I gotta deal with your SHIT! (Sound of glass breaking) MOTHER: What do you fuckin' think you're doing? What are you doing?! FATHER: How do you like that?! MOTHER: What do you think you're doing? FATHER: How do you like that?! MOTHER: You fucking animal! FATHER: I told you to shut the hell up! MOTHER: Don't you ruin my kitchen! I'm sick of this! I want out! I want out! FATHER: Get the fuck outta here! MOTHER: I can't stand this! You and your lousy fucking kids! FATHER: Hey, how do you like that you bitch? (More glass breaking) MOTHER: Don't you destroy my kitchen! FATHER: Hey, I'll destroy your world! MOTHER: FUCK YOU! You PIECE OF SHIT! Now get out of here you pig! FATHER: Yeah, get outta here...you! MOTHER: You and your fucking loser son! (Door slams) I'm outta here! I'm not dealing with nothing anymore! You piece of shit! I WANT OUT! I WANT OUT! (Kid breathes heavily; turns on stereo) MOTHER: Get outta here! Get outta here! I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!! (Sound of bathroom door opening and closing; bathtub water turned on) MOTHER: I want you outta here! Right this minute! I gotta use the bathroom! Whatta you doin' in there?! You goin' through my makeup? It's my bathroom, I gotta use it! Don't touch my tampons! It's my bathroom, I work hard to keep it clean, I can use it whenever I want! (Sound of Kid slitting wrists; brief cry of pain) MOTHER: It's my bathroom! (Sound of blood dripping into the bathtub; door opens) MOTHER: Oh, oh, OH MY GOD! OH JESUS CHRIST! NO! NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! OOOOH MYYYY GOOOOD!!!! (Dripping continues) Life Of Agony Ugly 1995 Life Of Agony is: Alan Robert: Bass/vocals Keith Caputo: Lead vocals/keyboards Sal Abruscato: Drums Joey Z.: Guitar/vocals 1: Seasons 2: I Regret 3: Lost At 22 4: Other Side Of The River 5: Let's Pretend 6: Ugly 7: Drained 8: How It Would Be 9: Unstable 10: Damned If I Do 11: Fears 12: Don't You (Forget About Me) 13: Coffee Break 14: Redemption Song 1: Seasons It disturbs me to see that you're growing old. It concerns me to be the one you want to hold. Too busy running on fuel, thank God you made it through. Let's spend the times we've missed and turn these days to gold. Too busy running on fuel, thank God you made it through. Let's spend the times we've missed and turn these days to gold. And turn these days to gold. Lost as father and son. Bring us back together as one. Seasons change and so did your son. Strife with emotions that can't be one. Too busy running on fuel, thank God you made it through. Let's spend the times we've missed and turn these days to gold. Want to hand you a piece, of my delicate heart. This song is to uplift you and not to tear you apart. Father's lost in the mountains. But no mountain I can't see. But if that mountain should crumble come crumble on top of me. 2: I Regret I know my days are numbered. I've been in and out of this phase. But these days keep passing me by. Good (god) never comes my way. Try to sit back and relax. Try and think of something good. Something else and something pure. I can't but I know I should. Things I should have said. Things that I regret. And I regret. No more waiting for something better to come along. It's much easier to change me than it's to change them all. Things I should have said and things that I regret. I need to shed all my skin and start again. Things I should have said. Things that I regret. And I regret. And every turn I make is wrong. I haven't smiled in so long. Shed my skin and start again. Shed my skin and start again. The memories that I once had, of all the good good good good times we all used to have. Shed my skin and start again Shed my skin and start again 3: Lost At 22 If I knew what to do I'd do it. If I knew where to go I'd get there someday. If I knew where to fly I'd fly away, forget about life for a while. But it never is that easy to just pick up and go and do as you're told like. 'cause life never works out that way. If it were true the skies would be full everyday. If I knew how to fly, I'd fly away. If I knew how to fly, I'd fly away. If I knew how to fly, I knew how to fly away. Well I'm lost at 22 and I've got no fucking clue. No I don't know if things will work out right. I'm lost and confused. I'm lost at 22 and I don't know if my life's gonna end up right. 'cause they keep on telling me that I'm young, dumb and naive. But that's just what they want me to believe. Well I'd rather be lost at sea than become part of this society. Where the grass is always green and the air is always clean. At least that's what they want me to believe. At least that's what they want me to believe. I'm lost at 22. I'm lost at 22. I'm lost. 4: Other Side Of The River There's blood on the floor and you're not even moving. Don't really know if it's mine or yours but you ain't moving. Eyes are wide as you grin at me. You know there's a place where you rather would be. If you should die and I survive, how could I go on knowing that I'm still alive? Here breathing. There's a beast that's living deep within me. Forcing me to feed all my needs. Yeah he's in me. And he brought us here to end our fears. To wave goodbye to all of the tears. To start a new live on the other side of the river. Well my world would be over. My world would be over. Hold on, hold on, I won't be long. Wait for me, man, I won't be long. You were such in a rush to reach the other side. Look at yourself with that look in your eye. Smiling wide, pre-occupied with that river. Well my world would be over. My world would be over. 5: Let's Pretend In the stilness of the night my eyes are closed. My mouth is wide. I could see her face. Her beautifull hair I could recognize. She looks at me cold. She probably don't know who I am. Mommy it is me, it's Keith. You had me back when... But sometimes I like to pretend, that she knows me, that she holds me. Sometimes I like to pretend, that she knows me, that she holds me. I guess I can't, 'cause she doesn't know who I am. My mind it's dreaming, God it's so misleading. Do you thing it's 'cause I've grown old. Is it true that what I was told? You cried to leave me? You know I know it's not your fault. You had a husband who was (now you're ?) selfish and cold. Believe me I know. And now I hear you used to treat me cold. You disappeared and left me all alone. I'm sure you didn't know right from wrong. 'cause both of you were always getting stoned. But sometimes I like to pretend. But sometimes I like to pretend, that she knows me Sometimes I like to pretend, that she holds me. Sometimes I like to pretend, that she knows me. Sometimes I like to pretend, that she holds me. I guess I can't, 'cause she doesn't know who I am. 6: Ugly Have you ever woke up screaming? Have you ever woken alone? When the walls around you won't stop laughing Where do you go? Sweat seeps in your eyes at night And you realize That no one understands you at all Well I was bound to have a nervous breakdown Should've seen it coming from miles away So I packed my bags and started running My brain's been shaking since yesterday But there's only so far you can run boy There's only so far to leave your problems behind 'cause when the problem's yourself you start thinking No matter how far You'll never leave it behind No one understands me at all Now I'm 22 with still no clue Of who I am or what I'm supposed to be I know it to you it sounds funny You've got it worked out like it's a fuckin' disease Started asking myself do I fit in? Where I belong Could this really be me? Been feeling downright ugly Tell me is this the way it's supposed to be? So what's the difference? You're doing fine The clock keeps ticking as you lose your mind The one you need to call you Never calls Sweat seeps in your eyes at night And you realize That no one understands you at all 7: Drained They'll make you or break you They'll swallow you whole They'll find you and bind you To every word that they own But you know that you need them So you continue to feed them So I hope that you're in this For all the right reasons They can't make you feel something you don't believe in But they can threathen your future And everything in it When you fail to remember just where you've been When you can't tell up from down How do you write from within? And all I know is that they're They're trying to squeeze me dry They told me They own me And all I know is that they're They're trying to squeeze me dry I look in the mirror and what do I see? A man staring back at me who used to be me He looks so familiar He once had big dreams But I can see that he's been drained of his soul and integrity 8: How it would be I wonder how it would be if my mother was still around The types of talk The relationships we could have had The three of us Me, you and Dad My mouth went dry My stomach felt queasy too So empty and scared It's all because of you A dead body that turned out not to be dead No one understands Wish I really knew what happened to my mom Because my family they told me nothing but lies They figured if they just told me the truth I'd break down and cry Feel betrayed and hurt Profoundly insecure Want to knock ten times on heaven's door Still suffering from old emotional wounds I was getting worse Can't depend on them and their lies Why did see leave? How did she die? And when it gets colder outside I'll be back next year With that feeling to make me cry Wanna go visit her grave Because it's been a long, long time Want to pick a peach rose And rest it on its side Say a prayer eventhough I don't believe And say goodbye Don't get me wrong I have a mind to keep me strong But there's this feeling of not knowing what went wrong And how she's dead and gone Don't think anyone thinks Of you as much as I do 9: Unstable This cancer is killing me As much as it is killing you If it takes you away from me I don't know what I would do Just try for some peace of mind But it's so hard to find It's so hard to just sit and wait And wait some more Staring at the door Skim through the magazines Pretend like everything's gonna be allright Although you know it won't be Unstable It's hard to be the one who's strong He's always got a shoulder to cry on He's got a shoulder for me When I'm about to break down You're (Who's ?) never around But maybe it's better that way You've got enough to worry about You've got your hands full, don't you Don't you see? This cancer is killing me Like it's killing you Mentally Unstable And all I really want to know if she's gonna be allright 'cause she's been in there a long, long time And I've been out there losing my mind You're scared You're frightened You're so afraid of what he may say But you try and be brave For me sitting impatiently In the lobby of emergency You burst on through that door with this look on your face I've never seen before You explode into endless tears Whisper in my ear Baby Baby I've only got one more year Unstable 10: Damned If I Do Why do I feel so alone in a crowd of people I know Is it wrong to feel so insecure so unappealing? Why walk around in disguise with a fake grin on my face? What would it prove? What would I gain? I'd still feel so out of place Damned if I do Damned if I don't But I won't turn out like you Midlife crisis at the age of 22 Who knew? I need some answers Cross the street and down the avenue I stopped for the woman Paid five bucks and got my palm read And she said You shouldn't be smiling boy This life line says you're allready dead Just keep on moving forward never turning back But with every step ahead I take they pull me two steps back They pull me two steps back 11: Fears No one knows what it's like No one knows how it feels Nothing else cpould compare to the fears I fear And I've been on my own Struggling all alone And all I have are these clothes on my back and this song I never had much I never believed I could be Someone, somehow, somebody Said goodbye to all my childhood hopes and dreams Time to grow up and accept real life responsibilities Listen Won't you listen to the things I have to say 'cause it just might affect the way that you think about How you live from day to day It may be easy for you But it seems like hell to me 12: Don't You (Forget About Me) Won't you come see about me I'll be alone, dancing you know it baby Tell me your troubles and doubts Give it everything inside and out Love strange, so real in the dark Think of the tender things that we were working on Slow change may pull us apart When our life gets in to your heart baby Don't you, forget about me Don't, don't, don't, don't Don't you, forget about me Don't you, try and pretend It's my feeling we'll win in the end I won't harm you or touch your defences Vanity, insecurity Don't you forget about me I'll be alone, dancing you know it baby Come to, I'll take you apart I'll put us back together at heart baby Don't you, forget about me Don't, don't, don't, don't Don't you, forget about me Don't, don't, don't, don't Will you stand above me? Look my way, never love me? Rains keeps falling, Rains keeps falling down. Hey hey hey hey hoo yeah Don't you, forget about me Don't, don't, don't, don't But you walk on by Will you call my name? As you walk on by Will you call my name? As you walk away When you walk away When you walk away Come on baby call my name I say, will you call my name? I say lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala........ Will you call my name, baby Won't you please let me feel like ..?.. I know I feel you Let me see my hands before you Let me see your hands before me I said why don't you call my name I need, want you to call my name I need you to call my name 13: Coffee Break The most comfortable place isn't comfortable anymore I feel so out of place No one knows me for sure I have this guilty conscience And made an effort not to be me I feel like a certain somebody But I know I can be me Too many people try to put me down not accept me for me I was insulted the other night ..... it's not me ... I try to sing my songs But I have trouble with that too The hardest thing to imagine is what comes next Don't have strength don't have courage When you're lacking confidence I won't let this feeling end 'cause it might not come again ... and you know it's not you I try to sing my songs But I have trouble with that too The most comfortable place isn't comfortable Did you ever feel out of place? 'cause you're not comfortable? I won't let this feeling end 'cause it might not come again 14: Redemption Song Oh pirates, yes they rob us Sold I to the merchant ships Minutes after they took I From the bottomless pit But my hand was made strong By the hand of the almighty He fought in this generation Triumphantly [chorus] Won't you help me sing These songs of freedom 'cause all i ever had Redemption song Emancipate yourself from mental slavery None but ourselves can free our minds Have no fear for atomic energy 'cause none o' them can stop the time How long will they kill our prophets While we stand around and look? Some say it's just a part of it We got's to fulfill the book [chorus]