b3tHandle this!tAlivetfpf2s2c11 HANDLE THIS! f1c12 - the editors special - c13 by Alive/Digital Handles are an intriguing phenomenon of our great Scene. They are of great importance because they help to convey something of the personality and/or function of each individual. There are often many connotations attached to a handle and every Scener thinks long and hard before deciding which handle best suits him. Unlike real names, handles are not always permanent. A handle which seemed to represent everything you`re and do on the Scene can - some years down the line - suddenly appear totally unsutable. Take c12Merge/PolkaBrosc13, ex.c12Kefrens c13member and coder of the classic demo: c12Desert Dreams c13(a personal favourite of mine). f2c11 PURGE YOURSELF WITH A LAXITIVE f1c13Many people will remember the days when c12Merge c13was known as c12Laxityc13. Unfortunately laxity has close links with another altogether quite disgusting word: Laxitive. Of course, no one in their right mind would want people thinking of a substance used to clear their bowls every time they saw your name, so it's no wonder he decided to switch. The only thing is, everytime I see the name c12Merge c13I instantly think of the word purge; which is quite unfortunate really. So as you can see, choosing the right handle is vital in creating the right imagery in the minds of Sceners. Chose the wrong name and you could well become the laughing stock of the entire scene. Anyway I thought it would be interesting to take a light-hearted look at a few of the more well-known personalities in our Scene and perhaps speculate as to why they chose their particular handles, here goes:- f2c11 ROKDAZONE/ARTWORK f1 c13- c12RokDaZone/Artworkc13: ahhh, now here's an interesting name for a world renown Scene journalist. I find it difficult to understand why a journalist would want a name like: c12RokDaZonec13. Hmmm, could it be because with each fantastic article he writes he rocks-the-zone? Well I guess it could be. But no, I think there's a more realistic explanation. If I'm not mistaken, c12RokDaZone c13began his life on the Scene as a musician. Thus, my conclusion is that he thought it would be cool to malform and condense the three words Rock-The-Zone into: c12RokDaZone c13- how inspirational! (sounds of near death as c12Alive c13chokes on his own sarcasm) Of course, nowadays c12RokDaZone c13throwns on such molestations of the English language, so my guess is that he'll soon be changing his name to RockTheZone. f2c11 DAMION/ARTWORK f1c13 - c12Damion/Artworkc13: c12Damionc13, c12Damionc13, c12Damionc13; now why on earth would a Scener choose the name c12Damionc13. What does it symbolize? Is he the son of Satan? Well, no, actually he's organiser of one of the Scene's greatest groups and father of by far the Scene's most respected mag: c12Generationc13. So why c12Damion c13I ask? Why not John Major, Overlooker or Master or something else with connotations of power and leadership. Ok, perhaps John Major was a bad example - but you get my point. Sorry, I'm clean out of ideas for this one boys and girls. If you know why c12Damion c13chose his handle, please email me the explanation because I haven't got a clue. f2c11 WHO?/WHAT? f1c13 - c12Puh/Agonyc13: hmmmm, erm...err (sounds of deep thought) Hey! this is a difficult one; just what is it that this guy does on the Scene anyway? Ahhh, p(h)uhk-it...N-E-X-T! f2c11 FISHWAVE/SCOOPEX f1c13 - c12Fishwave/Scoopexc13: this guy's baby, c12SeenPointc13, recently had a dramatic design overhaul, yet that fishy handle still remains. With all due respect, I think he must have been sucking on a damn potent haddock when he chose this handle. (or perhaps he was licking frog backs) Hmmm, what can I say? This is a rather flippant handle and doesn't have much meaning. Not a criticism you could level at any of c12Fishwave's c13articles, of course. f2c11 SANE/SARDONYX f1c13 - c12Sane/Sardonyxc13: Since the arrival of c12Sanec13, the face of c12CN. c13has changed a lot. He seems to be the voice of reason and objectivity in a mag previously dominated by c12Fishy's c13purposly insane style, the one we've all come to know and appretiate. But was it all a little too much? Maybe. Anyway, now there's an acceptable balance of the sane and insane. Now there's c12Sanec13. Who's not insane, but sane. A perfectly sane handle if you ask me, and not at all boring! f2c11 MOP/ESSENCE f1c13 - c12Mop/Essencec13: ok, now this is a little tricky. I think I'll have to employ the use of metaphors for this one. As we all know, c12Mop c13is main editor of the chart-topping diskmag: c12ROMc13. So I guess he thinks of himself as some kind of journalistic Scene-Mop. He wipes himself all over the filthy Scene-floor absorbing all the Scene gossip, grit, grime, grease, slim and general Scene-dirt. Then he dunks himself in his old rusting Scene-bucket (c12ROMc13) and wrings himself dry again ready for the next issue. Ahh, perfect analysis! (even if I do say so myself) f2c11 SHADE/TRSI f1c13 - c12Shade/TRSIc13: Hey, this one is easy! I obviously have a big fan here. Ok, the joke's over c12Shadec13. Like me, you are an Editor. Like me, you were in c12S!Pc13. Like me, you are on IRC and, like me once, you are called c12Shadec13. This is too confusing, change you're damn handle - f2Pleasef1!!! [oops, well, after writing this it would appear I've decided to be brave enough and change my own handle instead...hehe! - Alive] f2c11 ALIVE/DIGITAL f1c13 - c12Alive/Digitalc13: Wow, quite simply the best handle in the Scene today! Chosen to represent my lively, out-going nature and my zest for life. Well, no sarcastic comments about myself; sorry, I'm not into sado-masochism. Okay, I admit, it's complete bullshit! But, heay, it's the only one I could find that wasn't already taken. Ok, that concludes our little journey into the world of handles. I'd just like to finnish this article by sending out a huge amount of respect to a Scener with probably the most weird yet total fantastic handle of all time! Who do I refer to? Why: c12The Mad Butcher/ex.Alcatraz c13of course. Now analyse that handle and see if you can come up with some reasons why he chose it; whilst I make a f2quick f1exit! Ciao!