{HEAD} TEXTCOL=$FFF BACKGROUND=03 {/HEAD} F1 SOFTWARE IN SHOCK MOVE!!! bY SKiDZ/A51 It's a sad fact that Amiga software companies come and go (V-12 anyone?) and who would have thought that Steve Bye would give up F1 Software? I'm afraid it's true! Wanna know th TRUE story of what happened...? Read on an be amazed at this SHOCKING story... Steve and his wife Belinda had a bit of a falling out. It was all to do with Steve not doing the dishes or something like that, but in the end he had to give in and went out to buy some Fairy Liquid. On his journey to the local shop, he was stopped by a strange dude who told him his destiny didn't lie in the way he was heading, so Steve looked at himself in a shop window and said, "Bugger it! I'm NOT doing the dishes!" and stamped his feet a lot - in a puddle! (Damn hard) And with that, he went back home - without the Fairy! A big row broke out and Steve left, slamming the door behind him of course and, err, stamping his feet a lot! Belinda shouted, "BYE!" to which Steve replied, "What?". So Belinda opened the window and uttered the words, "Bye BYE!..." Steve sniggered and thought to himself, "She doesn't even get the joke." But what Steve didn't know was that Belinda wasn't even talking to him! She was singing along to a Bay City Rollers CD! Steve being the English man that he is didn't realise this due to him being unable to understand the Glaswegian accent of the Rollers singing...Bye Bye Baby, Baby Bye Bye. Not that Steve couldn't understand Belinda's accent, it's was just her lousy singing! Onwards he strolled over hill and valley and plenty of puddles too. Eventually after about 10 minutes, well it was only small hills and a tiny valley, Steve tripped over a small dog on the pavement! He thought to himself, "This is it. I'm never going back. I'm gonna life the life of a stray dog..." From that day on, he's never looked back! Steve, his napsack and the stray brown coloured dog, which Steve named Boo, followed the main road all the way to the bus stop! At the bus stop was a man with no legs standing there, ahem, alright, he was just sorta, err, sitting there then. Tisk! Anyway, Steve spotted the bus coming down the road and said to the man, "How Are You Getting On?" Taking this the wrong way, the man said, "Fine thanx." and Steve just shook his head. Boo was at this time doing a piss against a lamp post. It was dying to rub itself on someone's leg, but only had two choices, and to be honest, it didn't fancy Steve much, and as for the other guy....he didn't have a leg to stand on. (Awwww!) Steve and the little dog got on the bus only to find that all the seats had been taken. "Bugger! Nowhere to sit!", Said Steve. Trying to act kewl and casual, he looked at Boo and said, "Sit." Boo looked strangely at Steve and had a look around the bus for a seat! "Sit I said!", Demanded Steve! Boo didn't mind there being no seats, it just `shat' in the corner! (Pooo! - Whiff...) "I said SIT not SHIT ya daft mutt!", said Steve. A few stops down the line, an old lady got up and offered a seat to Steve, but being the gentleman he is, he told her to sit back down. He wouldn't dream of taking a seat off an old lady. "No sonny, sit here. I don't mind.", she said. Steve refused and pushed her back into her seat. "Hoi ya bugger!, I've missed my stop now!", exclaimed the granny! Steve giggled and thought he was a bit of a prat. The other people on the bus roared with laughter at the situation. Even the bus driver had a giggle. Especially when he drove right past the next stop and forced the old granny to miss that one too! The old granny was furious by this time. Even more so when Boo thought that her old wrinkly stocking looked as if they needed a good old bonking! Off to it he went, rubbing himself up and down her wrinkled old leg. Eventually her stockings fell and both Boo and Steve got a whiff of some strong piss!! Steve thought for a moment and then pondered more, racking his brain for something to say, then suddenly he asked... "What's smells of piss and goes in..out..in..out?" Everyone on the bus shook their heads trying to work out the answer. "It's her, the old granny, doing the hoaky cokey!", said a little cheeky git in the corner. The granny laughed and so did Steve. Eventually the old granny got off the bus, but she left a parcel on the seat! Steve took it and got off at the next stop. Boo followed, sniffing the package with excitement... So what was in it? A load of shyte! That's what. Just exactly what this story has been! Seriously then...the proper article about the F1 move.... As of August 1997, Steve has passed F1 over to Phil Wilkinson at 5D Licenceware. Phil has been backing the Amiga for years and his PD library, Saddletramps PD is proof of that. If anyone wants to contact Phil for a cat disk or for some more info: email: phil@ware5d.demon.co.uk snail: F1 Software 1 Lower Mill Close Goldthorpe Rotherham South Yorks S63 9BY tel: (+44) 01709 888127 At least Steve didn't just shut down F1 altogether and it still lives helping to keep the Amiga alive. If anyone has any message for Steve, send it to myself or zYLAX and I'll pass it on... andy@agasinc.demon.co.uk (email only) All AREA 51 members would like to wish Steve well in his new ventures (such as his forthcoming foot sim game for the Amiga) and also wish Phil good luck with running F1. SKiDZ/A51 end.