The Heckler
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The Heckler
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Yea yeah year, 2001 already?
I'm sitting, quite relaxed, at the round dining-room table of my alternate and holiday residence in Gera. The illustrious local phone company technician only today hooked up my ISDN connection, and my "girl friend" now is connected to the fast comm-strap.
Mobile phones: I have steadfastly refused until now. Maybe only because I had not been "lucky" enough to be among those who found one under the Christmas tree? Or a bit of envy prejudicing me agin the mobile-phone-promotion hubbub in the media? Well, who knows... maybe so.
Just how many means of communication does a man need to be happy? Good question ... Next question: which means of communication does a man need to be happy? Not easy to answer, either.
Perhaps I bother my head more about the technical components than what I have to say? All right then ... wrong start. Let's try it like this: When did I have my last really absorbing conversation? And what was it about?
Offhand, I remember little or nothing. What did I murmur to the cute sales maiden in the bakery shop this morning? Did I, besides a sleepy "G'morning" and "Four pretzels, please", say anything?
OKay, let's step back in time. Last night I watched TV. Ooops, the telly is a monologue.
In the afternoon I had been in the city. It was quite overcrowded. I had to buy myself an ISDN-suitable phone set - after all I may have had an emergency the next day. I do remember a quite exuberant fussily-motivated salesman. Somehow he reminded me of the oaf in the Telekom advertisements.
The height of his product appraisal was the following hint: "Well, you know, you must have ISDN nowadays". Of course I asked if he had such a modern connection, and he had to climb down: "But I have a mobile phone ... hihihi-gnatz-titter ... may I draw your attention to ... , too?" I gracefully declined.
Mmmhh, oh well. I'm beginning to see that this kind of problem analysis is not very
fruitful. I reach over to my newly acquired phone to call a friend: "Hi Ralf, how nice of
you to call me. How are you?
Okay, didn't work well. I try a lady colleague, who does not have my advantage of being on vacation. A few days ago I had proudly sent her my three phone numbers (MSNs) via eMail. She mails back the question "And which one is for what?" and I sat a bit startled in front of my monitor screen, then weakly promised to find out!
So let's kill two birds with one stone. Little high for me and my number in the display for her. Ha ha, ingenious! Well thought, well done and dialled ... the drowsy "tuuuuuut tuuuuuut tuuuuuut" has a somehow relaxing effect upon me. After five or six rings I hang up.
Two more attempts are as ineffective. Intent? Mmmhh, rather lots of work ...
Well, don't give up hope. "Try another of the ladies. One of them lately had her birthday and you haven't congratulated her yet". She answers.
Short felicitation through the wire, short "status report" about the first days of my holidays and a few nice regards out of Gera; but she is quite busy and I get a prick of conscience. Hence a quick end of the call with best wishes for Christmas and "A good start into the New Year".
Mmmh, this wasn't the right thing either. My last try I give to an acquaintance not too far away from Gera. A hearty "Hi ... how are you? This is really nice, to hear some news of you again". The call takes about five minutes with the result that we met a few days later.
It was a nice day, we had lots to talk about and for good-bye there was a cordial embracement.
My net result: Modern communication electronics provides us with a variety of possibilities. But, folks ... I wish that all of us, for the year 2001 and further, will once again really talk to each other.
Live long and prosper,
Yours
Ralf Driesner <global-dries@gmx.de>
P.S.: Many thanks for the kind reactions I received after both my last hecklings. Special thanks go to Michael Christoph, who remembered a possible solution for my timing problem mentioned in my heckling 11/00.
Now at least my Amiga knows exactly when to grow a summer or winter fur. Mayhap a solution for other readers as well!
