The whole truth about Bill by Eraser/SCB, Craid/RNO^SCB and Standhal/SCB ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Ok, first of all, we want to say that we are definitely NOT pC-haters! =) We just want to tell you the TRUE story about the evil mission of a KGB-agent named Boris-Nikita-Gavralnitski the 3rd (also known as Bill G.) to take over the world with his mindbending nuclear hamburger-machine. Okay, so let's get it on... Boris-Nikita-Gavralnitski the 3rd was born on October the 5th 1955 at the old McDonalds-farm in Novorossisk/Siberia. He was a brave farmer-kid, and nobody had even a clue about how dark his future will become... At one evening he wanted to visit his grandma which lived in the deep Taiga-forests, so he took his brandnew RED jacket from THE COMPANY and his seven-miles boots and left the house. As on the way he collected some flowers and haschusch-plants for his grandma, a big lightning has hit his golden tooth. An evil energy has gone over him and his face became like a 24-bit copper rainbow... In the next years he began his carreer as a KGB- agent. At first he started at the kitchen as a vodka-glass washer. Then he became more interesting jobs like assasinations and programming in basic. In the year of 1972 AD he became part of an agent-exchange-program between the USA and USSR/CCCP. In the same year he started to study at the McDonald-cooking university of Nevada placed in Area 51 (you know... the truth is out there!:). His first program on an Atari XXXxxxXXxxxL was ILCSCS (Intel-Ligent Cow Spot Counting System), for which he became the Interactive Nobel-Price for the best mathematical alghorhithm. But then the CIA (no, not the Amiga-chip you dumb-ass!) had found out that the main source was stolen from the users-guide of a top secret russian mega- computer "Vrenia" (TM) which was a ZX Spectrum-clone with a 1Mhz turbo- board. For this horrible crime he had to die trough a Mr. Propper poison- injection. Boris waited for the execution in the Alcatraz-prison, where the KGB-agent sweared revenge on the democratical countries of the world. There he also met Sean Connery and Nicolas Cage. One day, the charwoman has forgot to close the door, so they could escape. Boris had to change his identity, so now he is known as Bill G. or B. Gates. In the year of 1980 he founded the first terroristical agency in the world called "Mikrowsiewsoftskaja", but this name was already under the copyright of a Russian company which produced little Atom-bombs for Saddam Hussein. So he changed the name to "Microsoft". And so the dark legend was born... In the beginnings, Microsoft produced shafts for Lybian tanks, but that was not terroristic enough, so Bill decided to spread his newest super-weapon against democracy: THE DOS!!! (Disobedient Operating System). The first versions of this DEADLY weapon caused 1.4 million people to die in horrible convulsions! After years of DOS-holocaust, Bill decided to bring an even more powerful mass-destruction weapon: The Windows!! 3.11 million people died in just one night!!! After a short time Bill decided to bring to perfection his nuclear operating system which could be more efficient. After months of hard work he developed a new version of Windows, which had an increased killing efficiency of about 95 percent!!! And so Windows 95 was born... Beware stranger! The evil Bill is still working on increasing the efficiency of his nuclear hamburger machine to 100 percent!! Soon Windows 98 will arrive!! Don't let them make Windows 100%!!! Buy Barbie dolls instead of Windows!!! This propaganda text is © copyright 1997 by S.H.A.U.G. The real Saddam-Hussein-Amiga-Users-Group!