| how 2 | Heidi |

How To - the second part from the series "taking my equipment apart"

Last time, we had instructions on the topic "How to destroy my 4K case to install an oversized power supply". This time we grab our screwdriver, pliers and soldering iron to bestow a longer life to monitors with built-in speakers.

And how?

In school, we learnt in Physics that magnets placed near picture tubes for long periods of times don't do it any good. I know that's not entirely correct, as a picture tube without its internal magnets is good only for the trash.

But I mean the speakers. After unscrewing the case, they are going to be removed. Don't forget to unplug everything beforehand! Once inside, locate the following:

1) the speakers

2) the corresponding cables.

Both parts are at least quite easy to remove: the speakers with a screwdriver; the cables, simply unplug. Screw the case back on - finished.

And if you now don't hear any sound... then you've either not connected the Amiga to an amplifier, or haven't plugged in any of those tinny super-dynamic multimedia boxes.

Now a do-it-yourself course: The Pringles Speakers:

In order to create such a masterpiece of audio technology, first invest in two packets of Pringles chips. Preferably an original and a Cream & Onion (and don't talk yourself into buying the short packets that have recently landed in shops... - more about that later).

Before we get to the next step, the packets must be emptied: this should be ideally done on an evening of football, beer and stained singlet. Much fun!

Once the Pringles tubes have been emptied, you can remove the metal base. That is best achieved with a can opener, not the older type that cuts in and rips the edges, but the type that neatly cuts using two metal blades from the edge of the can.

When the bases have been cleanly removed, we have two nice tubes. Drill these in the side. These holes have two uses:
1) the cables go through them
2) with the assistance of toothpicks and thread, you can make a simple yet effective wall fixture (see also "how can I hang Easter eggs on ornamental shrubs...")

When the perforations have been made, feed the cable through. Please note the following: the choice of packaging, as previously mentioned, was not made on aesthetic but practical grounds: "Original" - red - port; "Cream & Onion" - green - starboard. And for all landlubbers, starboard is right and port is left. In this brilliantly simple way, the arrangement of the channels is a snap. Next take a tube of Superglue and glue the speakers on the upper side of the tubes (where the plastic covers were). At the free ends of the cable, soldering an RCA or Phono plug is recommended so that these works of wonder can make sound. To achieve an optimal result in volume and sound quality, you must now hammer 2 nails in the wall and hang the speakers using a loop of thread. And if you don't want to hang them, then at least lay them down. You can do a comparison between standing and laying speakers yourself right away.

Figure 1: The speakers standing up

Figure 2: The speakers laying down, between them a tweeter at the experimental phase - later to be fixed to a beer can...

Figure 3: The developer environment

Guide to figure 3:

1) the saved monitor

2) the transplanted speakers

3) The CD drive connected to the speakers for testing

4) the CD that's currently playing

5) a 4K Amiga with original power supply (because everything's external!)

To finish off:

a) This operation is done at your own risk. I won't be held responsible for anything that goes wrong.

b) Procter & Gamble didn't pitch anything in for these instructions; you can also rummage around in the rubbish for the packaging.

Thomas Kutschera
Steve Bowman

front (JPEG; 48K)

top (JPEG; 29K)

environment (JPEG; 45K)