COMPUTER NEWS!

MICROSOFT

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A recent report in the Los Angeles Times, Pointed out that Microsoft, Deeply worried about the growing number of threatened Anti-Trust lawsuits piling up against them in the USA, Decided that if it could feed lots of testimonials and positive letters from ordinary customers into the letter pages of US newspapers and magazines, It could point to public support for its business practices.
However these heartwarming Affections for Bill Gates Company were to be written by PR consultants commissioned by Microsoft! When confronted with this, A spokesman for Microsoft admitted that such a plan existed, But would now PROBABLY be scrapped!


PRICE AND PIRACY

A recent letter from a PC user, To a PC users magazine,Referred to the amount of Piracy of software! He complains that Software such as Microsoft Office Professional £500, CorelDraw8 £464 or Adobe Photoshop4 at £500, were overpriced and encouraging the Pirates! These prices for software amount to what I have spent on my system! Is it any wonder Bill Gates is so rich? God Bless the Amiga and all the Software companies that supply us with software at reasonable prices! But more recently, a company attempted to take action against a group who wer flogin hooky vertions of there stuf! (for the Amiga!) ONLY TO FIND the juge could not care less - BECOUSE IT WAS NOT MICROSOFT AT "The Ripper" we encorage you to swap pd, But not to spread HOOKY stuff! as THAT was one of teh main resons that companys LEAVE the amiga! I particularly liked the true story, of the PC user in America, Who for Some unexplained reason, Had not used his Computer for around six Weeks. When he eventually got around to switching it on, He was surprised and Rather alarmed to find a Swarm of Bees had set up home in it, The Bees Didn't take to kindly to this Gentleman trying to fry them and they chased him out of his home! He is reported as saying, " I really don't know how they got in there!" Perhaps they got in through the WINDOZE and got stuck in the WEB! PC owners beware!


Are you a fan of SKY T.V.? Do you watch Sky News? In particular the Weather! "Sponcered by TULIP COMPUTERS" ! Not any more Pal! Tulip computers have gone Belly up! I quote! " Owners of Tulip Computers have been left high and dry after the company slipped into Receivership. The collapse has rendered all Customers Warranties and services NULL AND VOID!" Further to this was an announcement that TAG PC Technology has also Ceased trading and "Has closed its doors to Customers and Creditors Owners of Tag PCs will find all Warranties and Service agreements Are now Invalid!".

IT COULDN'T HAPPEN TO THE AMIGA! "Could it?"


Reading through the Newspapers today (June 8th ) I came across this Interesting article!

"The next time you receive a hand-written letter,

take a second look at it, As it may have been written by a computer!

A new type of software offers you a font which reproduces your exact Handwriting.

All you do is insert an £89 floppy disk in your computer,

Click on the font setting and type, Or rather write away.

To receive your own font, You provide a sample of handwriting to Mediatic,

The company Marketing it and designers reproduce each letter

the exact way you write it."


Now perhaps its me? But I have spend the last couple of hours deep in thought, And still can't fathom out,
WHO would be STUPID enough to fork out £89 to get a disk, That does just exactly what a 10p Biro does.
However as it has been proved that there are some Idiots out there, Let me tell you about my FANTASTIC new IDEA!

I have beside my Amiga, A tape recorder
containing a pre recorded tape full of
SWEARY WORDS and GENERAL ABUSE !!!!!!!
Now when ever my Amiga crashes,
I simply press a button and relax in the Knowledge
That my machine will get a right old
BOLLOCKING without worrying about throat strain!
If you would like a pre-recorded copy of
this tape, Please send a Cheque or P.O.
for £79.99p (Which includes P&P ) to

Mr IAN C FYVIE
8 SKYE COURT
RAVENSWOOD
CUMBERNAULD
GLASGOW
G67-1PA