Virus alert
If you receive an e-mail message with "End-All Virus" in the Subject line, do not open it. Do not even think about opening it. If you do: End-All will immediately re-write your hard drive and permanently scramble all stored data.
Not only that, it will scramble any disks that are even close to your computer.
It will also recalibrate your refrigerator's coolness setting so all your ice cream melts.
It will demagnetize the strips on all your credit cards, screw up the contrast and colors on your television, change the clock on your VCR and microwave, and use subspace field harmonics to scratch any CDs you try to play.
It will add your name and phone number to every telemarketers list.
It will mix Kool-aid into your fishtank.
It will leave dirty socks on the coffee table when company comes over.
Your computer monitor will be turned into a "green screen".
It will put a dead kitten in the back pocket of your good suit pants and hide your car keys when you are late for work.
It moves your car randomly around parking lots so you can't find it.
It will kick your dog.
It will give you Dutch Elm disease and athletes foot.
It will leave the toilet seat up.
It will leave bacon cooking on the stove.
It may also leave "ring around the collar" on your favorite shirts, rent adult videos on your card, and then publish the list on the Internet for all to see how kinky you really are.
It may also do the following:
Cause an asteroid to crash on your home town.
Make prank phone calls giving your real name.
Order items from the Home Shopping Network using your credit card number.
Phone your mother-in-law and tell her what you really think of her. And then invite her over to stay a while.