| 640K barrier: | the finish line in a mega-marathon |
| access time: | foreplay |
| analog: | what Ana tosses into the fire |
| assembly language: | put tab A into slot B, then put tab C... |
| audit trail: | what the IRS does |
| Bandwidth: | limited by the size of the stage |
| Battery Backup: | going in reverse in a golf cart |
| BBS: | t-telling t-tall s-stories |
| benchmark: | what happens when your saw hits the bench |
| broadband: | an all female rock group |
| cache memory: | remembering how much you spent |
| carrier detect: | "I see the mail man!" |
| CASE: | 24 bottles |
| Control Character: | prison guard |
| conventional memory: | remembering what you did at COMDEX |
| copy protection: | wearing a rubber |
| copyright: | vs. copy wrong |
| cursor: | a garbage mouth |
| daisy chain: | a dog's leash |
| DAT: | the opposite of DIS |
| deadly embrace: | making love to King Kong |
| delimiter: | some who says, "Stop, that's enough" |
| density: | how to measure IQs of blondes |
| dhrystones: | the stones that were tossed out of the water |
| DIP switch: | how my sister gets a new boy friend |
| dot pitch: | "Dorothy winds ups, and delivers a knuckle ball" |
| EBCDIC: | similar to herpes |
| EMS: | happens just before PMS |
| end user: | a prisoner's cell mate |
| escape sequence: | Distract guard. Dig tunnel. Cut throw fence... |
| Ethernet: | used to catch Ether |
| fixed disk: | a broken disk that comes back from the shop |
| flash EPROM: | what they have on 90210 (Flashy Proms) |
| flat bed scanner: | a hooker looking for loose change |
| flat file: | a file with all the air out of it |
| full duplex: | a 2-family house with 16 occupants |
| groupware: | clothes swapping |
| hacker: | a heavy smoker |
| half-height drive: | a midget's sexual capacity |
| hand scanner: | singles bar prowler looking for wedding rings |
| heap: | what I drive |
| high density diskette: | a very stupid floppy |
| home computer: | what you tell your computer when it follows you |
| hypertext: | text on amphetamines |
| ink jet: | a plan used for sky writing |
| integrated circuit: | a circuit with black & white components |
| joystick: | (requires little explanation) |
| local bus: | stops at every intersection |
| lost chains: | euphoria experienced by the recently divorced |
| low-level language: | for basement programmers |
| high-level language: | for penthouse programmers |
| machine dependency: | an affliction of machine users |
| mag tape: | tape used on the wheels of cars |
| mainframe: | akin to "main squeeze" |
| main memory: | remembering where the water line is |
| math coprocessor: | the person you cheated from in math class |
| megaflop: | the worst play you ever saw |
| minicomputer: | the peer to Mickey's computer |
| modem: | what the gardener did to the lawns |
| multi-sync: | can be sunk more than once |
| native mode: | head hunting |
| on-line: | where the birds sit |
| overlay: | chickens making too many eggs |
| pentium: | the thing that swings back-and-forth on a clock |
| plotter: | a deceitful person |
| postscript: | grafitti on a pole |
| protected memory: | remembering to wear a condom |
| record locking: | what you do to your Beetle White Album |
| right justified: | vs. wrongly justified |
| software piracy: | stealing a ship's program |
| spreadsheet: | a hooker's foreplay |
| streaming tape: | party decorations |
| subroutine: | not quite routine |
| surge protector: | a condom |
| token ring: | a group of people passing the bong |
| trackball: | what sprinters and runners often get |
| twisted pair: | tubes tied |
| word wrap: | black music |
| worksheet: | a prostitutes office |
| Ymodem: | because, modem |