THE RAT OF THE MONTH
This award must go to a Glasgow Chimney Sweep
Called out by one of his regular customers,
A Pensioner, To cleanHer Chimney.
Having completed his task, He informed the Pensioner that
He would have to charge her an extra 50p, This was due to the rising
Cost of electricity!
After he had left, One of the pensioner's friends pointed out
that he actually used her Electricity when doing her chimney!
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DOPE OF THE MONTH
The pensioner in the above article, For paying
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CHEEK OF THE MONTH
This award must go to the 4 Men from Stirling
Who climbed up a Flagpole, At Bannockburn Battlefield, And pinched
the Scottish Saltire, Replacing it with an old Curtain on Which
was Proudly painted "GONE TO FRANCE"
The National Trust for Scotland, The true owners of the Flag, Have
Promised no further action will take place, Provided the Flag is
Returned to them, In good condition, AFTER the World Cup!
the extra 50p to the Sweep.
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the last time that the Space Shuttle, Will dock with it. It seemS that
both the British and Americans feel that the Station is outdated and
obsolete, However the Russians are trying to maintain it as long as
Possible.
The main problem with MER, Appears to be the Computer system breaking
down! Well by my reckoning, The station has been in service for just
over 10 years, It took 2 years to construct, And possibly another
2 years development on the ground, That makes the Technology of MER
14 years old! So I can only presume that the computer's we are
talking about are, Either Commodore 64 or the Spectrum ZX. I suppose
We are all aware of the shortcomings of these machines, And I would
Assume that the TAPEDECK HEADS are now out of line! So if anyone out
there still has a working Tape deck for a C64, Why not get in touch
With Moscow, And offer your services!
13th June 98
The date of the Queens Birthday Honour's List, And
Still BUGGER ALL about me in it!
Its so unfair! Still maybe next Year!