"A Boing Ball may look red and white, but it is gold within." - Larry Bolch "File MOUSE.DRV not found. Please reinstall Windows '95." <-- TRUE!! "Give me AMiGA or give me HELL!" - Guido Van Bercum "Intel Inside" logo - Because we ALL think in circles!!! "Lets beat the Jones' and get Windows '95 too!" "Loading Windows - Please refrain from snoring..." "Pentium" - Because it only got five percent. "Pentium" Because 5/5 ain't bad ...even if they're all wrong! "WIN.COM" - 2.5 Meg ram goes missing... Amiga "loadWb" - 13.5 Kb!! "Windows '95 installed - prepare to modify/crash/reinstall soon..." "Windows Upgrade Pack" now includes the REST of life's problems! 1998 The year the AMIGA comes of age. 486 to 286 conversion kit now available. Call Microsoft. 50MHz 486 + Microsoft Windows = 4.77MHz 8088. A day without my AMIGA is unbearable. A PC user should be charged with "Obstruction of WWW Traffic"!!! Air conditioned environment - Do NOT open Windows!!! alt F4 enter, the best shortcut for Windows Amiga - Plug'n Play, Multimedia, User Friendly - Invented here first. Amiga computers: Dividing properly since 1985. Amiga made it possible, Commodore made it dead! AMIGA POWER FOREVER !! Amiga: The computer with a REAL fanclub. Amiga: The cutting edge of excellence! Amiga: The ORIGINAL multimedia computer! Amigas take a lickin', but keep on kickin'! An IBM user should be charged with "Self-Inflicted"!!! And I thought a Mac was a raincoat! And there were plagues of locusts, and frogs, and MS-DOS, and MS Windows. Average Amiga user: "Rebel without a clone!" - Al Bauschardt Bill Gates - The problem to everyones solution! But honey, an Amiga 4000T is a wonderful typewriter!!! C:DOSSYSTEMOS2UTILSDOCSHELPWHERETHEF$#%AMINOW??? Crime has increased steadily with sales of MS-DOS. Coincidence? Deodorants and Pentiums - When being close is all that counts. DOS 6: Because there aren't enough problems in the world already. DOS 7. When you need trouble - you've got it! DOS=HIGH? I knew it was on something DOSSHELL? Of course DOS is hell. Enhance your Amiga twofold - delete all IBM/MAC emulation software! ERROR: Windows Operator out of memory! Ever notice how fast Windows 3.1 runs? ...neither have I. File "WIN.COM" deleted. Free space: 4,294,967,295 bytes... File "WIN.COM" deleted. System now virus free... Friends don't let friends use Windows. Get that PC off my bridge, Number One! Bring the Amiga! God created man... Then some IDIOT created Windows! Guru Meditation #81000004.4655434B Guru Meditation #8100000B.48454C50 Have you hugged your AMiGA today? I admit it, I tried MS-DOS, but I didn't inhale. I am Pentium of Borg. Prepare to be approximated. I just got a new floppy drive for my Pentium. Great trade! I only shoot IBM's to put them out of their misery. I've got news for ya, not only is GOD a woman, she uses an AMIGA. IBM - Computer for the Empty Mind IBM - I Blame Microsoft IBM - Making tomorrow's mistakes TODAY! If a PC was fast, it'd be called an AMIGA! If at first you don't succeed, call it Windows NT. If speed Kills - Use Windows! If there's no AMiGAS in heaven, I'm not going. - Rick Lembree In case of Windows '95 - Break glass... Intel Outside -> (SLAM! ..and don't come back!!) Just say no! (To IBM) Know what I like about Windows? Not a damned thing. Let's put a 7Mhz crystal in a PC - and see what it STILL don't do!! Life is too short ... Play AMiGA - Tom Walker Macintosh: the computer with training wheels you can't remove. Mary had a little RAM. Not enough to load Win95! Microsoft - Haven't you spent enough already? MicroSoft - Making tomorrow's mistakes TODAY! Microsoft - Where did you break down today? Microsoft - Where were you up to last time? MicroSoft tech support: "Remove all useful utilities from your system..." Microsoft... Were YOU sucked in today? Microsoft: The Acme of computer software MS-DOS -> No seatbelt required when travelling in reverse. MS-DOS ERROR #46: Typing too fast! Please slow down... MS-DOS ERROR #93: STOP!!! I can't keep up!!! MS-DOS ERROR: File "AMIGA.500" is too efficient - cannot emulate! MS-DOS: the McDonald's of operating systems. Nobody expects the Amiga acquisition! Old Amigas never die. They're just multitasking in the background. JGMH OS/2 = Half an Operating System? OS/2 Warp... Gee, I hope not - It might catch my 7 Mhz Amiga 500!!! Pentium - Redefining the PC! (and Mathematics) Press -- to continue. Run Windows on my Amiga? I can - but why spoil a good thing!? rx "_='0a'x;say ' ,-_|\'_'/ \'_'\_,-\_/'_' v' Sometimes computers do funny things !@#$%^&* WHAT THE F#@K WAS THAT? Support group for survivors of MS-DOS now forming. Team AMIGA, something C= never had. Team AMIGA, we're different. Team AMIGA: The user base for the machine that makes it all possible. The "BOING" is back! The Amiga CANNOT be killed. - Patrick Ford. The magic of Windows - turn a 486-100 into a 4MHz XT! The three most commonly used keys on an IBM: .. Uninstalling Windows '95... [CRUNCH!!!] - Hard drive eliminated! Using a single-tasking computer is a sign of low self esteem. Virus "WIN.COM" found! Formatting tracks 78 to 635477957... Wanted: Single White Female with Amiga. Send picture of Amiga. Washing Windows is better than running them. What distinguishes an PC from a boat anchor? Segment registers. Which computer do you use?: IBM [sigh] ... NO CARRIER. Widnose... Sounds better this way! Win '95 Multitask - What's happening when it can't decide... Win '95 Swapfiles - Too big to purchase! Win95 - A couple of revisions and it'll be AmigaDOS 1.1. Win95 - proof you can fool all of the people some of the time! Windows '95 - Even God has his bad days! Windows '95 - How many times can they make the same mistake? Windows '95 - Record holder for the biggest software patch ever! Windows '95 - Welcome to solitary confinement! Windows '95 - Yet ANOTHER chicken at Kentucky... Windows '95 -> No seatbelt required at speeds under 3 km/h. Windows '95 loaded. 2,208 bytes memory free... Windows '95... AAARRRGGGHHHHHHH!!! - KILL IT!! Windows '95... Custom built for Masochists. Windows '95... For those who can't fool themselves. Windows '98 - Because some people NEVER learn!!! Windows - It happened and (unfortunately!) will again! Windows 2000 - Just add power station... Windows 3.1 - The finger in my eye... Windows 95: The training wheels are bigger than the bicycle. Windows Error #56: Operator fell asleep while waiting. Windows Errors 500 thru 1000 reserved for future mistakes. Windows is a colorful clown suit for DOS. Windows is not a virus. A virus never needed 200MB of DLLs & INIs..... Windows isn't a virus -- viruses do something! Windows Just another pane in the glass. Windows on the net? That's it - create worldwide embarrassment! Windows users are immortal? Yeah! - They'd have to be! [Snore!] Windows, from the people who brought you AmigaBasic. Windows... A teaching aid for morons! Windows... As if DOS isn't bad enough... Windows... I thought TORTURE was illegal?! Windows... Just to make life a little bit harder! Windows... Redundancy in the making. Windows... When you're on to a good thing, delete it! WINDOWS: (W)ill (I)nstall (N)eedless (D)ata (O)n (W)hole (S)ystem. Windows: An overpriced way to eat up HD space. Windoze isn't crippleware - It's "Functionally Challenged" XT, AT, 286, 386, 486, 586, 686... Why no improvement though? You CAN multi-task on PCs - simply buy *2* of them.