In this month's issue, Dave, the band's chief Hanger On, gives his tips on picking up women.

'Hi Guys. You may well have seen me at gigs dancing with a wide array of stunning women (is that the right way around? Ed), and wondered how I do it. Let me tell you my secret to 'Picking Up'.

1. Drink at least 6 pints of best bitter before making a move.

2. Have patience. Many a winning position has been lost by jumping in too early.

3. Wait until a collection of beauties are dancing around handbags in front of the band.

4. Unobtrusively work you way into the crowd and start dancing with a big grin.

5. Weed out the non-starters. Don't waste your time on any of the following.

Those who dance with a windmill or helicopter style.

Girls with short hair wearing boiler suits.

English Speakers.















6. GRAB the nearest girl and spin her around, off the floor, for at least 5 revolutions. Ignore her screams at this stage unless accompanied by a male name that is not your own.

7. After no less than 2 minutes, slowly release your grip. If your partner then runs away crying, repeat step 6 with another victim.

8. To be honest, I've never made it to step 8,

.... but I have read about it!!!.