Nick, the bands lighting man for the more prestigous gigs (so if your used to seeing the band in Minstrels, you probably won't have seen him!) recently granted us a audience at The Temple of Serene Enlightenment where, once in a state of hypnotic trance, he began to speak of the future....

Aquarius : The colour brown holds the key to your happiness as you spend two days queuing for the toilet.

Aries : Regression into a past life will provide you with some startling discoveries, it may explain your webbed feet and hunched back.

Cancer : News of an elderly relative with pots of money may bring a new business opportunity, however a moral dilemma may cloud your judgement.

Capricorn : Mars and Venus are on a collision course, disaster looms, will the earth be saved? Find out in the next thrilling episode.

Gemini : A visit to a car boot sale may shed some light on a recent burglary. The numbers 30 or 31 may have some significance around the end of the month.

Leo : A man in black and yellow brings unhappy news but now is not the time to lash out as the consequences may result in a long stay away from home.

Libra : Big is beautiful no matter what your colleagues may suggest.


Pisces : A Catweazel impersonator may illuminate your special occasion at very reasonable rates.

Sagittarius : Be on your guard for a grinning octopus on the dance floor.


Scorpio : It occurs to you that a bubble machine is worth the extra cost.


Taurus : Supplying electricity to a marquee is best left to the professionals. A black eye may result.

Virgo : A one night stand with a member of a rock band may be just the tonic you need.