"A vow of silence, Thats very interesting. Tell me about it."
"All true wisdom is found in taglines."
"And slowly but surely they drew their plans against us."
"Bother," said Pooh, as a gang of teenage thugs beat him to death.
"Bother," said Pooh, as he backed over the dog.
"Bother," said Pooh, as he buggerd the Pope.
"Bother," said Pooh, as he cheated on his wife.
"Bother," said Pooh, as he picked a policemans pocket.
"Bother," said Pooh, as he poured grease onto the main road.
"Bother," said Pooh, as he put his fingers in the mains socket.
"Bother," said Pooh, as he slashed all the tyres.
"Bother," said Pooh, as he sneezed his 6 quids worth over the floor.
"Bother," said Pooh, as he struggled in his strait jacket.
"Bother," said Pooh, as he swung from the noose.
"Bother," said Pooh, as he weakened the Bunji-rope.
"Bother," said Pooh, as his handbrake-turn didn't come off as expected.
"Bother," said Pooh, as his mistress' husband came home.
"Bother," said Pooh, as the dark wet patch spread out from his crotch
"Bother," said Pooh, as the heart bypass operation failed.
"Bother," said Pooh, when he couldn't think of anything new.
"Bother," said Pooh, when he found Tigger stoned on his hash
"Bother," said Pooh, when he realised his wife had cleaned him out.
"Bother," said Pooh, when the needle missed the vein.
"Deja vu" - The feeling you've fixed this bug before.
"DOOM ", said Pooh, and Slaughtered Christopher Robin with a chainsaw
"Hello... Incontinence Hotline" "Can you hold please?".
"Hit me again, I love it!" Soddam Hussein
"If Speed Kills, Then Windows(tm) Users May Live Forever!"
"It was obvious, the joke was lethal. No one could read it and live."
"KRYTEN, UNPACK RACHEL AND GET OUT THE PUNCTURE REPAIR KIT -  I'M ALIVE!"
"Outer hull breach! - Someone get some cellotape."
"Please do not read this tagline again."
"Put knot yore trussed in spel chequers!"
"Things too stupid to be spoken are sung."
"Watch out for that slicing machine," said Tom disarmingly.
'Bother' said Pooh, as the dark wet patch spread out from his crotch
(((((YOU)))))((((ARE))))(((((FEELING)))))(((((SLEEPY)))))
(A)bort (F)ail (T)oss computer across room
100 ways to skin a cat, #19: A wire brush.
100 ways to skin a cat, #1: A car and a long rope.
100 ways to skin a cat, #25: An electric razor.
100 ways to skin a cat, #33: An Epie Lady.
100 ways to skin a cat, #35: A disk drive.
100 ways to skin a cat, #4: A blunt razor.
100 ways to skin a cat, #52: A hot oven.
100 ways to skin a cat, #54: Not wax.
100 ways to skin a cat, #64: Sand paper.
100 ways to skin a cat, #73: A potato peeler.
100 ways to skin a cat, #83: A deep fat frier.
100 ways to skin a cat, #87: An orbital sander.
100 ways to skin a cat, #99: A cheese grater.
100 ways to skin a cat, #9: A large dog.
98 percent of people who are constipated don't give a s**t.
A .44 Magnum beats four aces.
A 2400 baud modem makes you want to get out and push!
A big enough hammer fixes anything
A billion dollars isn't what it used to be.
A bird in the hand does it on your wrist.
A bird in the hand is safer than one overhead.
A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
A clean disk is the sign of a sick computer
A closed mouth gathers no feet...
A computer solves problems you never had without it.
A fool must now and then be right by chance.
A friend: someone who likes you even after they know you.
A great deal of money is never enough once you have it.
A horse may be forced to drink but a pencil must be lead.
A liar isn't believed even when he speaks the truth.
A motion to adjourn is always in order.
A narrow mind is usually accompanied by a wide mouth.
A nuclear war can ruin your whole day.
A person with two watches is never sure what time it is.
A single fact can spoil a good argument.
Ability gets you to the top if your boss does'nt have a daughter.
About the only thing on a farm that has an easy time, is the dog.
Abstain from wine, women, and song; mostly song.
Ack! My soap has real lemon & my lemonade is artificial
Acting is the art of keeping the audience from coughing.
Ahh, I see you have a machine that goes.... BING!
All roads lead to where we stand
All taglines are busy... One will be with you shortly.
All's well that ends well.
Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them more.
Always proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn.
An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
And all the Borg left was this copy of OS/2...
And then Adam said, "What's a headache?"
And this is your brain with a side order of bacon.
AndIfixedthatproblemwiththespacebar.Ohbugger
Another satisfied customer. We ought to have him stuffed....
Anyone who is popular is bound to be disliked.
Anything can be made to work if you fiddle with it long enough.
ARRRRRGGGHHH!!!! ... Tension breaker, had to be done.
As I said before, I never repeat myself.
As long as I can remember, I've had amnesia.
As long as the answer is right, who cares if the question is wrong?
As the economy gets better, everything else gets worse.
ASCII stupid question. Get a stupid ANSI
Assumption is the mother of all screw-ups.
Average is as close to the bottom as it is to the top.
Avoid life - It'll kill you in the end.
Back up my hard disk? I can't find the reverse switch!
Backup not found: Abort, Retry, Massive heart failure?
Bad dog..leave that wire alone.....@$^**(^&
Be bold. Be winsome. Be wildly tender.
Be careful what you wish for, you might get it.
Be smart as a cat: Make a friend of your enemy's enemy.
Become a gynacologist, look up a friend today.
Been there, done that, got mugged.
Been there, done that, got the T-shirt.
Begin the day with a friendly voice.
Bet you can't stop reading here <---                     I knew it...
Beware of Greeks bearing gifts.
Beware of programmers who carry screwdrivers.
Beware of the opinion of someone without any facts.
Beware! The end is... <aaarrgh!>
Blessed is he that expects nothing, for he shall not be disappointed.
BOO....  It's your subconcious talking!
Brain in gear before mouth in motion.
But I thought *YOU* did the backups.
But I was was born here just like you!
By the time I think I've got the answer I've forgotten the question.
Can you teach me how to dance real slow?
Cats go "woof!" if you dowse them with petrol first.
Change is inevitable... except from a vending machine!
Change your thoughts and you change your world.
Charity: a thing that begins at home and usually stays there.
Classified Tag Line - Please Enter Password: ###########
Click...click...click..damn, out of taglines!
Common sense is not very common.
Computer problems?.....Then come to sledgehammers are us!!!
Computer... Smoke... Uhh Ohh
Copying of this tagline is prohibited by law.
Couldn't have said it better myself.
Crime doesn't pay? Does that mean my job is illegal?
Cross-country skiing is great in small countries.
Curiosity killed the cat, or was it a 12 year old with a microwave?
DANGER DANGER Computer store ahead...hide wallet.
Defeat is worse than death since you have to live with it.
Deja Moo: The feeling that you heard this bull somewhere before.
Democracy: 3 wolves and a sheep voting on what's for lunch.
Deny thy father and forget thy tagline.
Desk: A very large wastebasket with drawers.
Diplomacy is saying "nice doggy" until you find a rock.
Do I BELIEVE in the Bible?! HELL man, I've SEEN one!!!
Do not disturb -- I'm disturbed enough already.
Do what you will with this tagline, just don't bother me about it!
Documentation - The worst part of programming.
Don't ask me - I was hired for my looks.
Don't put more effort into things than they require.
Don't talk to me about gravity. It just gets me down.
Don't torture yourself - that's my job.
Don't tug on that. You never know what it might be attached to.
DOS never says "EXCELLENT command or filename"...
Dreadful.  Truly dreadful.  But you love it, don't you?
Drop your carrier ... we have you surrounded!
Error 99 - CPU too tired to continue...
Error closing TROUSER.ZIP - Replace floppy and retry.
Even my mouse has big balls.
Ever caught yourself reading taglines and skipping messages?
Every person you meet knows something you don't.
Every time I have an answer, someone changes the question.
Everybody has a right to pronounce foreign names as he chooses.
Everybody, stay calm.
Exercise daily.  Eat wisely.  Die anyway.
Expert - Someone who knows less, but makes more money.
Fear is the tax that conscience pays to guilt.
For once I'm at a loss for words. Mark down the date!
Forecast for tonight: Dark.
Forgive your enemies. But hit them a few times first.
Gargling twice a day is a good way to see if your neck leaks.
Genius: One who can do anything except earn a living.
Get me some coffee and then ask again in ten minutes.
Go ahead, steal my ideas...everyone else does!
Go ahead, steal my tagline...everyone else does!
God doesn't exist. I know, I've been there.
Gosh, I didn't know TEFLON could melt !!
Grab them by the balls; their hearts and minds will follow.
Greetings from Hell....wish you were here.
Grow you own dope, plant a politician!
Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional.
Hackers do it till dawn.
HANGING - An early form of bungee jumping, practiced in the old west.
Happiness is a BIG hard drive!
Have an electrician check your shorts.
Have you hugged your modem today?
He who dies with the most TAGLINES wins!
He who hesitates looses the parking spot.
He who laughs last probably made a backup.
He's dead Jim. Grab his tricorder. I'll get his wallet.
He's dead, Jim.  Kick him if you don't believe me.
He's not a complete idiot - several parts are missing.
Head: Device for finding chandeliers in the dark.
Hello dad...I'm in jail and I LIKE IT here!
Help the environment, recycle your PC.
Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.
House gets too cold in winter?  Buy a Pentium.
How do frogs die? Ker-mit suicide.
Humans are animals in search of the ultimate orgasm.
I AM IN TOTAL CONTROL,but don't tell the wife
I am not a molecule, I am a free radical!
I belong to no organized party - I am a democrat.
I came, I saw, I had no idea what was going on, so I left
I can't do algebra - but I've seen it done.
I didn't wake up grumpy this morning..... I let her sleep in.
I distinctly remember forgetting that.
I don't believe in miracles, I rely on them.
I don't call a kick in the knackers a result.
I don't delegate responsibility - I delegate blame.
I don't see anything that I want.
I dont have any solution, but I certainly admire the problem.
I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it.
I feel like a sixteen year old... but my wife won't let me have one!
I feel so lonely, I'm too young to feel this old
I got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
I had a blood test today, and failed!
I hate it when I've typed in a whole tag line, only to find it won't f
I haven't lost my mind; it's backed up on tape somewhere!
I just took an IQ test. The results were negative.
I know a good tagline when I steal one.
I know Karate, Kung Fu, and 47 other dangerous words.
I know my mind. And it's around here someplace.
I like a quiet life, sun, sea, sand, modem ......
I like work.  I can sit and look at it for hours.
I may not be totally perfect, but parts of me are excellent.
I often quote myself; it adds spice to my conversation.
I predict that today will be remembered until tomorrow!
I REALLY HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE TYPE IN ALL CAPITAL LETTERS
I still miss my ex-wife - but my aim is improving!
I think I have got my modem fixed now. I think it w
I think the phrase rhymes with "clucking bell".
I thought genitalia was an Italian airline.
I used to be indecisive; now I'm not sure.
I used to live in the real world, but I got evicted
I will see it when I believe it.
I'm a modem'er and I'm OK, I post all night and I sleep all day.
I'm amazed, that it works at all.
I'm Buy-sexual, I have to pay for it.
I'm doing this for your own good.
I'm not tense, just terribly alert.
I'm told that impotence is a rising problem in old age
I'm too stupid to know what I'm involved in.
I've given up reading books. It takes my mind off myself.
IBM: It may be slow, but at least it's expensive.
If at first you don't succeed, call it MS-DOS 6.2
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
If at first you don't succeed... blame it on the computer.
If at first you don't suceed, try the switch marked "Power"
If in doubt, whip it out...
IF IN DOUBT.WHIP IT OUT...
If it was easy, they'd send someone else.
If it wasn't for C, we would be using BASI, PASAL and OBOL!
If it works, Don't fix it: Unless you are a consultant.
If love is Blind, Lingerie makes great braille.
If nobody uses it, there's a reason.
If someone says "I`m expensive," believe them.
If speed kills, then Windows users may live forever.
If vegetarians eat vegetables,..beware of humanitarians!
If you can't laugh at yourself ... I'll do it for you.
If you order extra cheese on a pizza do you really get it?
If you play with anything long enough it will break.
If you want her to show emotion, cut up her credit cards.
If you're not confused, you're not paying attention.
If you're not confused, you're not thinking clearly.
If you're too old to learn, you were born so.
Ignorance is temporary; stupid is forever.
Illiterate? Write for free advice.
Inside every large program is a small program struggling to get out.
Insufficient memory: add 4 megs and retry
Insufficient memory: get a bigger brain.
int MeaningOfLife(void) { return 42; }
It is bad luck to be superstitious.
It is important to keep an open mind, but not so your brains fall out
It is so much better to live rich than to die rich.
It is things like this that make you go Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!
It takes a long time to understand nothing.
It works!  Now, if only I could remember what I did...
It would be illogical to assume that all conditions remain stable.
It's hard to believe it, but some teens are humans.
It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.
It's not worth it.  I'm going back to bed.
It's nothing....personal.
It's often cheaper to be forgotten than remembered.
It's stupid to continue doing what doesn't work.
Join Taglines Anonymous.  We can help.
Just when you got it all figured out:  An UPGRADE!
Keep cool, stand in front of an open refrigerator.
Kin:  An affliction of the blood.
Knock firmly but softly.  I like soft firm knockers.
Knowledge is power.
Ladies & gentleman - I have in my hand a copy of tonights top ten list
Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.
Learn to watch everything, even with your eyes closed.
Let not the sands of time get in your lunch.
Let the truth of love be lighted, let the love of truth shine clear.
Let them eat static!
Life is a series of rude awakenings
Life's not passing me by, it's running me over!
Lions bite, but a little pussy never hurt anyone.
Live a clean, healthy life and you will soon die of boredom.
Live within your income - even if you have to borrow to do so!
Look astonished when you break something, even if you meant to.
Look lady, I don't do Windows!
Magicians are a vanishing species.
Make a wish, it might come true.
Make it right before you make it faster.
May you live all the days of your life.
Maybe... How much are you bribing me this time?
Meditation is not what you think.
Memories keep the wolf of insignificance from the door.
Mistakes are often the stepping stones to failure.
modesty is a vastly overrated virtue.
MONEY TALKS ...   but all mine ever says is GOODBYE!
Muffin the Mule is not a criminal offence !!!
Multitasking: Reading in the bathroom.
Must go. The kitten's stuck in the printer again.
My advice is worth exactly what you paid for it!
My Go this  amn keyboar  oesn't have any  's.
My head X-ray showed nothing.
My nextdoor neighbour is a police dog-handler, but no-one can prove anything!
My wife loves ME--it's the computer she hates!
Never believe what a computer tells you.
Never do today what you can delegate tomorrow.
Never drown a child head first: Trapped air toughens the meat.
Never knock on Death's door. Ring the bell and run! Death hates that.
Never mind the star, get those bloody camels off the lawn!
Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle.
Nine out Ten Rotweillers prefer Jehovah's Witnesses!
No dear, I can't eat with the family, my computer gets lonely!
No matter how old you are, never be afraid to show the kitten within.
No, Nurse. I said "Remove the patient's SPECTACLES."
No, you *can't* call 999 now.  I'm downloading my mail.
Nobody ever bet too much on a winning horse.
Not the best news, but it could've been worse!
Not tonight, dear.  I have a Modem.
Nothing works, and nobody cares.
Now I've gone too far, where do I go now?
Of all the people I've met, you're certainly one of 'em.
Often the test of courage is not to die but to live.
Okay, I pulled the pin.  Now what?  Hey, where are you going?
One good turn gets most of the blanket.
One way to stop a run away horse is to bet on him.
Only God can make a random selection.
Only those who attempt the absurd achieve the impossible.
Operator!....Trace this call and tell me where I am.
Pedestrians come in two types: Quick or Dead.
People will believe anything if you whisper it.
Pity the poor egg: it only gets laid once.
Please Captain, not in front of the Klingons...
Please let me know if you did not receive this message.
Please save your burned out bulbs for me -- I'm building a darkroom.
POOH! Said Pooh, poking a stick at the sole of his left Reebok!!.
Praise: What you receive when you are no longer alive.
Preserve wildlife...pickle a sysop !
Read the fine print.
Real Programmers don't read manuals.
Reality is an illusion caused by lack of alcohol.
Reality-ometer:  [\........]  Hmmph!  Thought so...
Really get stoned, drink wet cement.
Recommended: "The Sexual Problems Pop-up Book"
Retreating? Hell no! We're just fighting in another direction.
Runtime Error:  Out of funny taglines!
Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, the chances are you
Sex may be better than logic, but you can't prove it.
She can't take much more of this Captain.
SHIN - Object used for finding furniture in the dark.
Shock me, say something intelligent!
Show me a good tagline... And I'll steal it.
Single tasking?  Just say no!
Smash forehead on keyboard to continue ....
Smash your bottle on the gravestone and live while you can
So many idiots... too few flame-throwers...
SOLVE the problem of disappearing Biros.  Use a pencil instead.
Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant!
Someone is unenthusiastic about your work.
Sorry, wrong number. -  Well why did you answer then?
Sow your wild oats on Saturday night. On Sunday pray for crop failure!
Speculation is the return lane of the road to knowledge.
Sysop not found. Upload some porn ? (Y/n)
SYSOP: The guy that is laughing at your typing.
Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy.
Tact: Recalling a lady's birthday but forgetting her age.
Tagline space to let.  Inquire within.
Taglines are just messages that havn't grown up yet
Taglines are pointless
Take what you can use and let the rest go by.
Teacher (according to a child): A non-violent mother.
That tagline is TRUE ->  <- That tagline is FALSE
That's not a bug, it's an undocumented feature.
That's not a Bug, that's an enhanced feature.
The bird of war is not the eagle but the stork.
The buck doesn't even slow down here.
The buck stops here, the doe just visits.
The cost of feathers has risen...now even DOWN is up!
The dream's gone stale, but still, let hope prevail.
The English never forgive a man for being clever.
The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.
The future isn't what it used to be.
The happiest time of anyone's life is just after the first divorce.
The mistake you make is in trying to figure it out.
The road to a friend's house is never difficult nor long.
The shower scene used over 60 different camera angles.
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you will have to catch up.
The thing most generally raised on land is taxes.
The truth is NOT always dressed for the evening.
The world is coming to an end. Insert coins to continue.
The worst thing about censorship is ##########.
There's going to be a real ding-dong when the bell goes.
There's more to life than meets the mind.
They'll release Windows 3.2 when 3.1 finishes loading.
This copy of Spot has been unregistered for 20 Years.
This file will self-destruct in five minutes.
This is a tagline.
This is my favourite tagline!
This is the last tagline in this file.
This message has been cruelly tested on sweet little furry animals.
This TagLine is Closed for Refurbishment
This tagline is umop apisdn
This tagline's just for you.
Those who can, do.  Those who can't, supervise!
Those who live by the sword get shot by those that don't.
Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
Time Can Change Me - But I Can't Change Time
Tis better to go when you have to, than to go and find you`ve been.
To steal this tagline press <CTL> <LAmiga> <RAmiga> now.
Today is the first day after yesterday.
TOURIST SEASON OPEN!  Does that mean we can shoot them?
Trespassers will be shot, survivors will be shot again!
Try this chicken.  It tastes just like rattlesnake.
Twisted mind? No, just bent in a few strategic places......
Two most common elements in the universe: Hydrogen & Stupidity.
Umm...your ZIP is open...
User Error: Replace user and hit any key to continue...
VD is nothing to clap about!
WARNING!  Computers can be hazardous to your Wealth!
Watch this space.
We apologize for the temporary inconvenience.
We are the people our parents warned us about.
We give advice, but we cannot give the wisdom to profit by it.
We now return to our regularly scheduled flame-throwing.
We'll burn that bridge when we come to it.
What aspect of _NO_ do you not understand?
What Aussies lack in Humour they make up for in Beer!
What can never happen always does, eventually.
What do you mean? You actually read this Tagline?!?
wHaT dOeS tHaT fLaShInG cApS lOcK lEd mEaN???
What is this tiny hole in the bathroom wall for?
Whatever is well conceived can be well expressed.
When the snow melts, where does all the white go?
When we can't dream the time for death has arrived.
When you are in it up to your ears, keep your mouth shut.
Who is General Failure and why's he reading my hard disk?
Who is the Grateful Dead, and why do they follow me?
Whoever shoots the moderator gets the job...
Why do those that pay the least complain the most?
Why would anyone want a stupid tagline?
Will your great-grandchildren know you existed and how?
Windows - software package to turn a 486 into an Etch-A-Sketch!
Windows95 will be released as soon as 3.11 finishes loading.
Without my ignorance, your knowledge would be meaningless
Worry is the interest paid on trouble in advance.
Worth seeing? Yes, but not worth going to see.
Wow! That lightning sounds clo..zzzzit!" NO CARRIER
Wrong! 30 minutes of begging is NOT considered foreplay.
Yield to temptation, it may not pass your way again.
You can always be sure of uncertainty.
You can observe a lot by watching.
You can't beat the feeling....
You can't beat the real thing...
You have personal mail. Assume warm glow? (Y/n).
You look like a million dollars.  All in loose change.
You lost the Windows source code!! ..... Well done man!
You mean everything above the tearline ISN'T line noise? |-)
You realise what that button does don't you?
You think women aren't explosive? Try dropping one!
You will be told about it tomorrow.  Go home and prepare
You won't get wise with the sleep still in your eyes...
You're as old as the woman you feel.
Your boss is thinking about you.
Your fault: core dumped
\|/,  \|/,  ___. \|/,   Guess which hedgehog tried to cross the road..