\Q\You unopen the carton, and notice it contains a black box of electronics,
and a few other items.

\A\You hunt down the instruction manual and start to read it.
\A\You plug the modem into your computer and see if it works.

\N\Are you joking? The instruction book contains a wealth of information on
general computer communications. You can't fill your Nerdy head with all that
sort of information so soon.
\Y\You plug the power lead into the serial port and blow up your computer.
Fortunately, the Genie re-appears and restores everything to normal.
 
\Q\You decide you better read the manual. From the first chapter you learn
you need to get a serial cable to connect the modem and the computer.

\A\You decide to make your own.
\A\You race down to the electronics shop and buy one.
\A\You borrow a friend's.
\A\You yell for the genie!

\N\That's pretty Nerdy, but you blew your modem up as soon as you plugged your
cable in.
\N\I am impressed by your desire to evaluate a sensible and practical solution
to the problem. However, it is certainly *not* a Nerdy act. Accordingly, I
have to disqualify you for non-compliance with the spirit of the game. 
\N\Your friend has a Zorro 8 computer. Apparently the cables were not compatible
and you blew your computer up.
\Y\Of Course! Now you're getting it! That's what a BBS Nerd would do!

\Q\The Genie provides you with a cable to use, AND shows you how to plug it in.
You start typing away at the computer, but nothing happens. This is strange.
On reading more of the modem manual you discover you might happen to need a
terminal program to link the computer and the modem.

\A\You call for the Genie again.
\A\You ring up your friend who also has the same computer as yours and ask
him if he's got a 'terminal program'.
\A\You look up a few BBS numbers in the phone book and call them up voice
hoping the sysop will answer and help you out.
\A\You ring up a computer shop, and tell them the situation, asking for help.

\Y\Yep, the only way out of this is to call the Genie. He appears and gives
you a copy of 'JRTelNComMate', and shows you how to use it properly.
\N\Your friend says, 'Sure, drop over, I have exactly what you want.' And so
you do. Unfortunately, while you are visiting, you also find your friend has
many more programs you want. So you start copying. The programs happen to be
copyright programs, and you don't hear the knock on the door from a F.A.S.T.
agent who happens to have heard the drives whirring from about 3 miles away.
You are arrested for software piracy and spend three years in prison. Even
the genie doesn't want to know about you.
\N\Unfortunately, all you heard from the numbers was a funny squealing sound
and a loud "Kshhhhhh!!". You have no idea what to do.
\N\The computer shop listened to you rave on about comms, but after 15
minutes hung up in your ear.
 
\Q\You boot up JRTelNcomMate and enter in a number to dial. It gives you a
BUSY signal.

\A\You hangup and call it again.
\A\You ring telephone service and ask them to check the number.
\A\You call for the Genie.

\Y\Next time you rang, you actually got through, and heard the modem making a
funny noise, which stopped after a while. 
\N\Telephone Service checked the number for you and said, "Yes, well there's
nothing wrong with the number." The operator who was in a real nasty mood
decided she can't have annoying calls from the likes of you, and made sure
to disconnect your phone line.
\N\The Genie appeared in a puff of smoke, and said "Even I, the Genie of the
Lamp cannot render a BBS available. You have proven yourself unworthy of the
modem." The Genie then took the modem back, as well as your computer. (He
wanted to call a few BBSs himself).
 
\Q\You see from the modem a 'CONNECT 2400' message. All you get from the
screen is a heap of garbled text - weird looking characters.

\A\You realise the speed of the terminal is set to 1200, and so hangup and
call back again at 2400.
\A\You realise the speed of the terminal is set to 1200, and so change the
baud rate on the terminal to 2400.
\A\You think there is something wrong with the BBS, and so hangup and call
another.
\A\You call for the Genie.
\A\You press on and madly press the 'return' key about 50 times.

\N\This was exactly the way a normal BBS user would work. However, it was NOT
a Nerdy thing to do. Sorry.
\N\Yes, well, that would be a logical solution to the problem, wouldn't it?
Your aim, however, is to be a NERD!!!
\Y\You dropped carrier on the BBS, and never call it again. The next number
you ring only has 1200 baud, so you connect okay.
\N\The Genie appeared and loudly screamed "What the **** do you think you're
doing? I can't keep coming back and helping you all the time. Get lost!" And
he turned you into a salamander. As a salamander, you found it very 
difficult to type without pressing more than 1 key at a time with your fins.
\N\The BBS crashed because of your mad keypressing. Unfortunately the sysop
was in, saw what you had done, and traced your call (he worked for the phone
company and so had connections). With the same connections, he managed to
get your phone cut off. 

\Q\You connect to 'Jim's Mega-Mighty Remote BBS' (at 1200 Baud). The BBS
asks you whether or not you are a new user.

\A\You say 'No' and try to login.
\A\You say 'Yes' and see what happens.
\A\You have no idea what 'New User' means, and so just hangup.

\N\The BBS then asked you for your user number and password. It disconnected
you after you tried to enter a password 4 times, but got it wrong.
\N\Well that would be a logical thing to do, wouldn't it? Sorry!
\Y\Yes, you are becoming a true BBS Nerd. The only solution to a question
you don't understand is to ignore it.
 
\Q\You find another number, this time it's (011-61-49-683100)

\A\You give it a ring, even though having to dial 13 digits sounds a bit like
a long distance number.
\A\You decide any number that long mustn't be worth calling, and so discard it.
\A\You decide to wait until the early hours of the morning when calls are a bit
cheaper.
\A\You find you can't fit that number in your dialling directory, and so go on
to try to find more numbers.

\Y\You connected with the Inquestor BBS in NSW, Australia. The world's best
BBS. Finally you realised you were starting to get somewhere.
\N\You missed a golden opportunity to call the world's best BBS, and live the
rest of your life sadly inadequately.
\N\We had thought you'd have been geting the idea of it now. BBS Nerds don't
pay phone bills! What were you worried about? You missed a golden opportunity
to call the world's best BBS, and live the rest of your life sadly 
inadequately.
\N\You missed a golden opportunity to call the world's best BBS, and live the
rest of your life sadly inadequately.
 
\Q\After the CONNECT 1200 message, the BBS says "Press Any Key To Continue".

\A\You press a key on the keyboard.
\A\You press the return key a dozen or so times.
\A\You go make coffee while the BBS decides to do something.

\N\Was that really a nerdy thing to do?
\Y\Because the BBS had a 4,096 character buffer, all your return presses
were interpreted as commands. Congratulations, this was a very nerdy act.
You missed getting the ANSI graphics, but finally got to the stage where you
were asked to enter your name.
\N\While you were out making coffee, the BBS idle timer disconnected you.
 
\Q\The BBS asks you for your name or user number.

\A\You type in your real name.
\A\You type in someone else's name.
\A\You type in 'Sadam Hussein'.
\A\You enter a user number of '1'.

\N\Honestly, that was a disgrace to a BBS nerd. Fancy telling ANYONE your
real name, least of all a computer.
\Y\Of course. You filled out the rest of the introductory questionaire in
a similar way.
\N\The Sysop had this name stored in his 'not allowed' file and so you were
promptly disconnected.
\N\When the BBS asked you for the password, all you could do was guess three
times. Unfortunately, the sysop didn't really have his password set to
anything really obvious like 'Fred' or 'Password'.
 
\Q\When you hit the main menu what do you do?

\A\Fill in the user questionaire on the Questionaires Door by Mark D Turner,
so the sysop has some relevant details on you that may help him to assist 
you in your use of the system.
\A\Have a browse through the message areas trying to discover what the guys
on this BBS are usually on about.
\A\Go and take a look at the file areas to see if your computer is well
supported or not.
\A\Have a look at all the online games.
\A\Read the text "New Users Please Read This" on the textfiles menu.

\N\What are you trying to do to your Nerdy reputation? This act was a useful
and sensible one. You were a disgrace to nerds around the world.
\N\This seemed to be a good idea, but is in no way anything remotely resembling
what a BBS nerd would have done.
\N\This was starting to become nerdy, but a BBS nerd doesn't know how to unarc
files, so it didn't serve much purpose at all.
\Y\Of course. I know of no other way in which a BBS user can be so nerdy as to
try to play online games and not succeed.
\N\What are you trying to do to your Nerdy reputation? This act was a useful
and sensible one. You were a disgrace to nerds around the world.

\Q\When you get to the Doors Menu you have access to about 6 games. Which one
do you play first?

\A\The Multi Adventures Door because it sounds weird.
\A\The Stats Door to find out the 'big' users of this BBS.
\A\The Outer Limits Demo to have a look at how well other players are going.

\W\Of course. It was such a nerdy thing to start off a cyclical system like this.
You are now playing this door, and you've actually gotten here!! This is such
a paradox that you do, in fact, WIN THE GAME!!!
\N\I didn't think that the useful information inside this sort of a door was
going to be of much interest to a BBS Nerd. Sorry!
\N\This door was too good for you. You couldn't practice nerdiness in this
door because it was too complicated for you.

\END\