If it wasn't for C we would be using BASI PASAL and OBOL!
If it wasn't for our lungs there wouldn't room for smog.
If it wasn't for the last minute nothing would get done.
If it works perfectly there's something wrong.
If it works rip it apart and find out why!!!!
If it works Don't fix it: Unless you are a consultant.
If it works don't touch it.
If it works it must be obsolete.
If it works leave it alone.
If it works rip it apart to see how!
If it works; always tear it apart and find out why.
If it's more than you need it's greed.
If it's not on fire it's a software problem.
If it's not true it's quite easily found.
If it's not worth doing it's not worth doing well.
If it's really tourist season why can't we shoot them?
If it's tourist season where do I get a license?
If it's tourist season why can't we shoot them?
If life is a highway... What's the Queensway?
If life is just a bowl of cherries throwing pits is OK.
If life is like a Pizza can I please have a couple?
If life's a stage I want better lighting.
If little else the brain is an educational toy. - Tom Robbins
If love is blind why is lingerie so popular?
If Mother Nature were smart she'd have leaves fall up.
If mother says no ask grandma.
If Noah had been wise he would swatted one of those two flies.
If nobody measures up it's time to check your yardstick.
If not the problem are you part of the solution?
If nothing sticks to Teflon how does it stick to the pan?
If Old MacDonald had a computer it uses Eee-aye-eee I/O.
If only I could be respected without having to be respectable.
If only Telecom knew what I was doi%‘”$:  NO CARRIER
If our behavior is strict we do not need fun!
If passion drives you let reason hold the reins.
If people listened to themselves they would shut up.
If picketing didn't exist some kids would never exercise.
If reality wants to reach me it knows where I am.
If sex were fast food you'd have an arch over your head.
If she returns from the john will I be too old to care?
If she won't live forever why give her a diamond?
If speed scares you use Windows.
If statistics don't tell a good enough lie use graphics.
If stupidity had survival value he would live forever.
IF Tagline = STOLEN THEN Flatter(Author).
If the cops throw a net over me am I legally in seine?
If the family skeleton must remain make it dance.
If the GOOD die young  I wonder why I am still here.
If the Law is for the people then why do we need Lawyers?
If the people lead the leaders will follow.
If the tagline persists please see your doctor...
If the tar fits... wear it.
If the two major shipping companies merged would they be FED-UPS?
If the world is round how could it ever come to an end?
If there is an obvious solution it is always obvious.
If there is no God who always pops the next Kleenex?
If they really are out to get you you're NOT paranoid.
If things improve with age I'm nearly magnificent.
If thinking is too painful quote the bible
If this had been real would you have read it?
If this is a battle then you have already lost.
If this were an actual tagline it could be funny.
If thou is a artist how does one grasp your art?
If three people say you are an ass put on a bridle.
If today was a fish I throw it back in.
If U look close enough the truth is hidden in the words.
If u loose one don't worry u will get one back.
If vegetarians eat vegetables..beware of humanitarians!
If Version 1.0 works someone goofed.
If voting changed anything it'd be illegal.
If voting changed anything it would be made illegal.
If we don't succeed we run the risk of failure
If we learn from losing we become winners in the end.
If we were meant to fly we wouldn't keep losing our luggage!
If Windows sucked it would be good for something.
If winning isn't important then why keep score?
If wishes were horses horses would ride.
If wishes were money beggars would be choosers.
If worst comes to worst you *CAN* turn most things off.
If written correctly legalese is perfectly incomprehensible.
If ya can't beat em join em!
If you always postpone pleasure you will never have it.
If you are afraid of being lonely don't try to be right.
If you are on the wrong road why run?
If you aren't going all the way why go at all?
If you aren't part of a solution you are a precipitate.
If you believe your own demagoguery you have a problem.
If you bow at all bow low.
If you can touch it and you can see it it's real.
If you can't bite don't try to show your teeth.
If you can't convince them confuse them.
If you can't dazzle with dexterity feed them a crock.
If you can't laugh at yourself try laughing at others.
If you can't learn to do it well enjoy doing it badly.
If you can't make it good make it LOOK good. - B Gates
If you can't make it work make a statistic of it.
If you can't say something nice sit by me!
If you can't see the bright side polish the dull side.
If you can't speak softly just use the stick.
If you can't stand the heat stay out of the kitchen.
If you can't stay healthy find a sickness you like.
If you can't tie good knots... tie many.
If you can't win fair win foul.
If you cannot catch a bird of paradise grab a wet hen.
If you cannot convince them confuse them.
If you continually give you will continually have.
If you didn't vote no complaints about who's in or out.
If you do drink and drive you might as well smoke too.
If you do nothing how do you know when you're finished?
If you don't care where you are then you can't get lost.
If you don't eat garlic they'll never smell it on you.
If you don't fall down you're not trying.
If you don't go to other men's funerals they won't go to yours.
If you don't like yourself you CAN'T like other people.
If you don't make dust you eat dust.
If you don't think it exists - WE HAVE IT!
If you don't try you cannot fail.
If you don'think women are explosive ... drop one!
If you drink and drive you might as well smoke also.
If you drink don't drive.  And don't even think of putting!
If you drink don't drive.  Don't even putt.
If you eat yogurt you'll have lots of culture.
If you ever have an idea try to go with it.
If you explain so clearly that no one can misunderstand somebody will.
If you explain so that nobody misunderstands some will.
If you find it it is always in the last place you look.
If you gotta go go with a smile.
If you knew what you're talking about you'd be dangerous
If you knew what you're talking about you'd be dangerous
If you know the spelling of a word you will err anyway.
If you learn from mistakes you will learn a lot today.
If you lie to the computer it will get you in the end.
If you like this one wait until you hear my next story.
If you listen to fools the mob rules.
If you make a mistake fix it to the best of your ability
If you mess with anything enough it will surely break.
If you NEED to count your money you're not really rich.
If you plan to get wet you should wear rubbers.
If you play with anything long enough it will break.
If you pull the wings off a fly does it become a walk?
If you push something hard enough it will fall over.
If you really want to know you won't ask me.
If you search for the unknown expect to be surprised.
If you smoke after sex then you're doing it too fast.
If you steala this tagline I breaka your keyboard!
If you take away the fuel in time the flames will die.
If you Think and Drive you're unique.
If you think education is expensive try ignorance.
If you think nobody cares miss a couple of payments.
If you throw mud  you will have dirty hands.
If you try to be too sharp you will cut yourself.
If you want my advice pay me.
If you want someone to keep a secret keep it yourself.
If you want the last word with a woman apologize.
If you want to hide your face walk naked.
If you want your boomerang to come back throw it first!
If you want your name spelt wrong die.
If you win the rat-race - you're still a RAT!
If you wish to succeed consult three old people.
If you would keep a secret from an enemy tell nobody.
If you're feeling good don't worry.  You'll get over it.
If you're really a police dog where's your badge?
If you're too old to learn you were born so.
If your feet smell and your nose runs you're upside down
If your mind goes blank remember to turn down the sound.
If your nothing but a failure at least be a good failure.
If your parents didn't have any kids you probably won't either.
If your ship doesn't come in it's time you swim out.
If your work speaks for itself don't interrupt.
If youth only had a chance or old age any brains.
Ifyoucanreadthisyouspendtoomuchtimefiguringouttaglines.
Ignorance and dogmatism are lovers growing hand-in-hand.
Ignorance is temporary; stupid is forever.
Ignorance is the mother of superstition.
Ignore your health and it will go away.
Illegal aliens are an American problem.  Ask any Indian.
ILLITERATE? Write for a free brochure...
Illustrate your Sermons! Wear far side ties.
Imagination is more important than knowledge.
Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality.
Imagination without learning is having wings but no feet.
Imagine the silence if everyone said only what they know.
Imelda Marcos: If any shoe fits buy it.
IMHO: Ingenious Mice Heave Oatmeal...?
Immemorial infamies perfidious wrongs immedicable woes.
Immortality consists largely of boredom.
Important letters develop errors in the mail.
In a family argument if you are right apologize at once.
In a nuclear war all men will be cremated equal.
In any household junk accumulates to fill the storage space available.
In Canada even the female impersonators are women.
In case of atomic attack prayer in schools will be OK.
In case of doubt make it sound convincing.
In case of emergency break glass scream bleed to death
In Chicago it is important to vote early and often.
In data the figure most obviously correct is an error.
In DOS we trust.
In economics the majority is almost always wrong.
In England there are 60 religions and 1 sauce.
In fashion be a reed in the wind.
In gambling and life if you don't play you never win.
In God we trust all others we monitor.
In God we trust you pay in gold.
In God we trust: All others we voice verify.
In God we trust; all others pay cash.
In human history most leaders prove to be good bleeders.
In making decisions recall that the trend is a friend.
In one era and out the other.
In our century we've learned not to fear words.
In politics you can often be wrong but never in doubt.
In principles be a rock in the stream.
In space lemmings have to shoot themselves.
In spite of the cost of living it's still popular.
In the country of the blind the one-eyed man is king.
In the end gravity always wins. - Dolly Parton.
In the great pizza of life I got the slice of anchovies.
In the long run we're all dead.
In the presence of great men even fools hide their faults.
In this world a man must either be anvil or hammer.
In war and life either fight to win or don't fight.
In war there is no substitute for victory.
Incest gets you involved with relatives.
Include this in your CONFIG.SYS File: BUGS=OFF
Incoming fire has the right of way.
Incompetence knows no barriers of time or place.
Incongruous - Where laws are made.
Incorrigible punster - Do not incorrige!
IneedsignificantlymoreroominthislineforwhatIwanttosay.
Infinity is a self-canceling thought form.
Inflation is a result of legalized counterfeiting.
Inflation is being broke with lots of money in your pocket.
Inflation is when the buck doesn't stop anywhere.
Information is hard to get. Using it is even harder.
Information travels more surely to those with a lesser need to know.
Innocent as a newborn alligator!
Innovation is hard to schedule.
Innuendo = an Italian suppository.
Innuendo can be fun.
Inquiring minds want to know.
Insanity is hereditary.  You get it from your children.
Insanity is inherited from your kids!
Insomuch as love grows in you so in you beauty grows.
Instant Human: Just add caffeine alcohol and nicotine.
Instead of being born again why not just grow-up?
Instinct is intelligence incapable of self-consciousness.
Insufficient disk space abandon all hope here and now.
Insufficient facts always invite danger.
Intelligent discontent is the mainspring of civilization.
Interchangable devices won`t.
Interchangeable parts never will.
Internal consistency is more highly valued than efficiency.
Iraq shot down 38 Patriot Missiles with their SCUDS.
Iraqi Bingo:  B-52...  F-16...  M1...
Irish whisky will pickle your fancy.
Iron sharpens iron; scholar the scholar.
Ironic isn't it that God gave the tortoise a drag factor of 0.03.
Irony: Giving father a billfold for Christmas.
Irregular verbs are on sale in the bargain basement.
Irregularity: Someone who comes to work late.
IRS: How much did you make last year?  Please remit same.
Is a  PC a symbol of Immaculate Contraption?
Is a hippie haircut an example of the lunatic fringe?
Is a Jamaican terminal a Rastafarian?
Is a proofreader a blooper snooper?
Is a prostate operation called a lowbotomy?
Is a stackedwurst a German girl measuring 38-24-36?
Is a WATCH OUT FOR CHILDREN sign a birth control ad?
Is Artery  The study of fine paintings?
Is Australia really down under or are we upside down?