Anything I make can become a cause for my sorrow.
Anything is good if it's made of chocolate.
Anything not a constant is not a commandment from God.
Anything not nailed down is a cat toy.
Anything not nailed down is mine.  Anything I pry loose is not nailed.
Anything simple is stated in the most complicated manner.
Anything that happens happens.
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken can be sung.
Anything worth doing is worth getting someone else to do
Anything worth doing is worth doing for a profit.
Anything you say will be misquoted & used against you.
Anytime things go better you have overlooked something.
Anytime you don't want anything you get it.
Apathy Error: Don't Bother Striking Any Key
Apology is only egotism wrong side out.
Applied emotion is the key to success with happiness.
Appreciate me now and avoid the rush.
April 16th: Count your blessings - nothing else is left.
Architecture is the art of how to waste space.
Are deaf psychiatrists better listeners?
Are dog biscuits made from Collie Flour?
Are RAM chips better than EWE chips?
Are semiconductors very short ticket collectors?
Are those cookies made with real Girl Scouts?
Are we having fun yet?  Is this the fun part?
Are we supposed to be having fun yet?
Are you a good witch or are you a bad witch?
Are you a Klingon or is that a turtle on your head?
Are you a schizo? - If so that makes four of us.
Are you part of the solution or the precipitate?
Are you still here?  The message is over.  Shoo!  Go away 
Are you virus free? Be sure with URINALIS.EXE.
Are you waiting for your prey?
Argue for your limitations and sure enough they're yours.
Arkansas: Bubble-gum cards are in the Great Books series.
Army Axiom: An order that can be misunderstood will be misunderstood.
Army food: The spoils of war.
Army Law 1: If it moves salute it
Army Law 2: If it doesn't move pick it up
Army Law 3: If you can't pick it up paint it.
Around here we do PRECISION guess work!
Around The World In A Tea Daze.
Arrogance is the obstruction of wisdom.
ARRRRRGGGHHH!!!! ... Tension breaker had to be done.
Arsonists of the world ignite!
Art does not reproduce the visible; it makes visible.
Art for art's sake is a philosophy of the well-fed.
Art is a lie that makes us realize the truth.
Art is either plagiarism or revolution.
Art is I; Science is We.
Art is vision not expression.
Art thou an artist or art thou art?
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity
Artificial Intelligence: The other guy's opinion.
Artistic ventures highlighted.  Rob a museum.
Artists' models make only a bare living.
As a computer I find your faith in technology amusing.
As a man grows wiser he talks less and says more.
As an absolutely last resort read the documentation.
As easy as 3.14159265258979323846264338327950288419716
As for me all I know is that I know nothing.
As I learn I know about more things I don't yet know.
As I said last week I'll be done tomorrow.
As I was going up a stair I met a man who wasn't there.
As I was saying I hate it when people don't finish their
As lacking in privacy as a goldfish.
As long as I live I shall be myself no other just me.
As long as we remain unsure we are alive.
As of next week passwords will be entered in Morse code.
As the twig is bent the tree inclines.
As you read the scroll it vanishes...
As you stroll through life always remember: HELL SUCKS!
ASCII stupid question get a stupid ANSI.
Ask Me About My Ancestors - if you dare!
Ask not for whom the bell tolls the answer can be deadly.
Ask not for whom the bell tolls; let the machine get it.
Asking dumb questions is easier than correcting dumb mistakes.
Asking PAC BELL for advice is like asking IRS tax advice.
ASL has 15 signs for stupidity; 3 for smart.
Assassination is an extreme form of censorship.
Assembler - One who drops his card deck.
Assembly line workers do it over and over.
Assumption #1: Dan Quayle is smarter than broccoli.
Assumption is the mother of all screwups.
Astrology is Taurus.
Astronauts are out to launch.
Astronomy: The anatomy and physiology of our universe.
Astrophysicans try to cure sick stars.
At 19 everything is possible; tomorrow looks friendly.
At a nude wedding everyone can see who the Best Man is.
At all ages you are certain you still have another year.
At least you can always use my code as a bad example.
At times we must settle for inferior  quality time.
At yuletide astronauts look for the missile toe.
Attack long worms from the rear - that is so much safer.
ATTENTION ..............Elvis has left the echo.
Attention K-Mart shoppers today the special is...
Aunt Em. Hate Kansas. Hate you. Took dog. Dorothy.
Aunte Em:  Hate you hate Kansas taking the dog.
Australian foreplay - Brace yerself Sheila.
Australian lover is like a wombat: he eats roots shoots and leaves
Authority often assigns jobs to those least capable.
Authority tends to assign jobs to those least able to do them.
Autobiography: Unrivalled telling truth about others.
Automobile mufflers don't die they just get exhausted.
Avant-Garde Narrow: a typeface for the broad-minded.
Avert misunderstanding by calm poise and balance.
Avoid fighting with the ugly they have nothing to lose.
Avoid home accidents joined planned parenthood.
Avoid junk mail get an unlisted ZIP code.
Avoid life - It'll kill you in the end.
Avoid Mailmen...............They Are Carriers.
Avoid reality at all costs.
Avoid the 5 o'clock rush - always leave work at noon.
Avoid The Noid.
Awkward Age: the period lasting from birth until death.
Ayer ago i kuldnt spel progrmr now i are won!!
Baby's playing dead in the cellar.
Bach is like a jetstream -if you can get on it you soar!
Bachelor's wives and spinster's children: always perfect.
Bachelor: A guy who has cheated a woman out of a divorce.
Bachelor: Plays the field until the field comes in.
Bachelorhood should be taxed such happiness is valuable.
Back up my hard disk? I can't find the reverse switch!
Back Up My Hard Drive? I Can't Find The Reverse Switch!
Back when I was a boy we carved our own ICs out of wood.
Back when I was a boy we carved our own ICs out of wood. - Dad.
Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic    
Backup not found: Abort Retry Massive heart failure?
Backups?  We don' *NEED* no steenking baX%^~VbKx.
Bad command or filename.  Go stand in the corner.
Bad officials: elected by good citizens who fail to vote.
Bad or missing sysop <A>bort <R>etry <B>urst into tears?
Bad spelers of the word untie.
Bad weather reports are more often right than good ones.
Balloons do not float the earth is sinking.
Ban the bomb. Save the world for conventional warfare.
Banging head against wall mode - off.
Bank error in your favor.  Collect $200.
Bank manager: someone who lends you an umbrella when the sun is out
Bank Rule: To get a loan first prove you don't need it.
Baptism: A kind of damp bar mitzvah.
Barometer: Indicates what kind of weather we are having.
Baroque: When you are out of Monet.
Bartender! I'll have what the gentleman on the floor is having!
Bartender:  Worker in the spirit world.
Bash forehead against wall to continue...
BASIC programmers never die they GOSUB and don't RETURN.
Basic research is what I am doing when - I don't know what I am doing
Bastard toadflax: not the result nearsighted horny toads.
BATCH: A group kinda like a herd.
Bathroom scale: Something you stand on and swear at.
Batteries not included.
BBS addiction is a Terminal disease.
BBS: a method to triple your phone bill.
Be a friend to the earth and it will be a friend to you.
Be alert - your country needs lerts.
Be Alert -- what the world needs is more LERTS.
Be apathetic today. - I think I'll leave it till tomorrow.
Be as good at receiving as you are at giving.
Be as you would seem to be.
Be bold and mighty forces will come to your aid.
Be careful when playing under the anvil tree.
Be careful when slinging mud you might lose ground.
Be creative invent a perversion.
Be flexible some things just take time.
Be kind.  Remember everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.
Be mischievous and creative if they fit you.
Be moderate where pleasure is concerned avoid fatigue.
Be nice on your way up you'll meet again on the way down.
Be pleasant no matter how much it hurts.
Be reasonable ... Let's do it my way.
Be right & fear no man.  Don't write & fear no woman.
Be self-reliant and your success is assured.
Be smart as a cat: Make a friend of your enemy's enemy.
Be spontaneous.......combust.
Be sure to use DEVICE=EXXON to screw up your environment.
Be suspicious of all non-native-born Esperanto speakers.
Be vewwy vewwy quiet ... I'm hunting for tagwines!
Be vewy vewy quiet....I'm hunting tagwines.
Beam me aboard Scotty.  Aye will a 2x4 do captain?
Beam me up Scotty there's no intelligent life down here.
Beam me up Scotty.... I swallowed my Phaser.
Beat's me!!! I never read the documentation.
Beatings will continue until morale improves.
Beauty faded has no second spring.
Beauty is often in the thighs of the beholder.
Beauty may be only skin deep but ugly goes clean to the bone.
Beauty seldom recommends one woman to another.
Beauty without virtue is a curse.
Become a programmer and never see the world!!
Bedfellows make strange politicians.
Been there done that got the T-shirt.
Beep. Invalid Input.  I take only cash.
Beer and women: Two of God's best gifts to mankind.
Beer! Now there's a temporary solution.
Beer! Now that's a temporary solution.
BEERWARE: If you like it buy yourself a beer.
Before advising be yourself reassess his character.
Before TV was invented I wonder if they had radio dinners?
Beginnings and endings are truly artificial constructs.
Behind an able man there are always other able men.
Behind every argument is someone's ignorance.
Behind Every Cloud The Sun Still Shines!
Behind every great man there is a woman - urging him on.
Behind every successful man is a woman who made it necessary.
Behind every successful man stands a surprised MIL.
Being a husband is a full time job.
Being a nice guy doesn't cost but it generally pays.
Being able to say NO is the root to reclaiming your life.
Being alive: Concentrating on goals not limitations.
Being married means making both love *AND* war.
Being old fashioned is not necessarily good or better.
Being punctual makes people think you have nothing to do.
Being weird isn't enough.
Believe those who are seeking the truth; doubt those who find it.
Beneath every stone sleeps a scorpion.
Benign: What you are after you be eight.
Berra's Law: You can observe a lot just by watching.
Best diet: Eat as much as you want but don't swallow it.
Best file compressor around!    DEL *.*  -  100% done.
Best thing about the future: it comes one day at a time.
Best way to appreciate a job: imagine yourself without it
Best way to keep your friends: don't give them away.
Beta testers do it first!
Beta testers do it until it breaks.
Better a coward for a minute than dead forever.
Better loved and lost than never lost at all.
Better the foot slip than the tongue.
Better the shoulder to the wheel than the back to the A I
Better three hours too soon than a minute too late.
Better to know nothing than to half-know many things.
Better to marry a man who loves you than one you love.
Better to understand little than misunderstand a lot.
Beulah peel me a grape.
BEWARE - Tagline Thief in this echo
Beware of cat.
Beware of friends who are false and deceitful.
Beware of geeks bearing .GIFs
Beware of hip and rum drivers.
Beware of little expenses. A small leak can sink a ship.
Beware of low-flying butterflies.
Beware of opinions of anyone with or without any facts.
Beware of plants that eat their young
Beware of programmers who carry screwdrivers.
Beware of the opinion of someone without any facts.
Beware of the Quantum Ducks -- QUARK  QUARK  QUARK.
Beware of the woman who does not drink.
Beware of true believers you may be duped by a false god.
Beware the person who has nothing to lose. He always wins
Beware when God lets loose a thinker on this planet.
Beware! This is a dangerous product manuals required.
Beware. I'm armed and have suffered from PMS all my life.
Big Brother is watching.
Bigamist: An Italian fog.
Bigamist: One who makes the same mistake twice.
Bigamy: One wife too many.  Monogamy: Same idea...
Binary Choir = 1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1o1.
Biochemists wear designer genes.
Biography should be written by an acute enemy.
Biography: One of the terrors of death.
Biological love =/= chemical love.
Biology is destiny.
Birds are trapped by their feet people by their tongues.
Birth the No.1 cause of death.
Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date.
Bit - The increment by which programmers slowly go mad.
BIT: The thing left over.
Bits make bytes but nibbles turn me on.
Bizarreness is the essence of the exotic.
Black holes are where God did nothing in a *big* way.
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
Black holes were created when God divided by zero.
Blame Murphy when you dig at the wrong end of a rainbow.
Blaming others can become a satisfying way of life.
Bless the peacemakers their work will never end.
Blessed are the censors; they shall inhibit the earth.
Blessed are the meek for they make great scapegoats.
Blessed are the pessimists for they hath made backups.
Blessed are the young let them inherit the national debt
Blessed are they who have little to say -- and don't.
Blessed is he expecting nothing and never disappointed.
Blessed our young they will inherit our national debt.
Blessings never come in pairs; misfortunes never alone.
Blinking Tagline... Close eyes... Open eyes... Close eyes      
Blond Mating Call:  Oh I'm so drunk [giggle].
Blood is thicker than water and much more tastier.
Blow your mind - smoke gunpowder.
Blow your mind - snort Nitroglycerin....
Boldly going forward because we simply can't find reverse