#Titel Jokes & Stories / Englisch / Oracle: Career
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#C10
{{Courtesy of the USENET Oracle, via Mlle. Noire}}

#C31
       I am at a career crossroads; should I become an astronaut, a
 fireman, or a sysadmin?

#C10
And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

#C21
 This is the kind of question that these "handy comparison charts" were
 just made to answer:

#C12
 PURPOSE OF YOUR CAREER
#C21
 Astronaut:  Advancing scientific knowledge for the good of humanity.
 Fireman:    Saving lives and property.
 Sysadmin:   Assuring uninterrupted access to alt.binaries.erotica.sheep.

#C12
 ADVICE YOU'LL GIVE KIDS WHO WANT TO FOLLOW IN YOUR FOOTSTEPS
#C21
 Astronaut:  "Study science and math and eat your vegetables."
 Fireman:    "Study science and math and eat your vegetables."
 Sysadmin:   "DON'T DO IT!  RUN AWAY!"
#C12
 QUESTION YOU'LL BE MOST TIRED OF ANSWERING
#C21
 Astronaut:  "Where do you go to the bathroom?"
 Fireman:    "Do you really slide down a pole when the alarm goes off?"
 Sysadmin:   "Can't you do anything about all this spam I've been getting?"

#C12
 WILL YOU EVER BE ON TV?
#C21
 Astronaut:  Yes!
 Fireman:    Occasionally.
 Sysadmin:   Only MSNBC's "The Site," which doesn't technically count as TV.

#C12
 WILL YOUR JOB EVER GET ANY EASIER?
#C21
 Astronaut:  As computers get more and more advanced and able to control
             more of the functions of the space vehicle, yes.
 Fireman:    As more and more people install smoke detectors in their
             homes, yes.
 Sysadmin:   As more and more clueless newbies discover the Internet,
             absolutely not.


#C12
 INSPIRING MOVIE ABOUT YOUR PROFESSION
#C21
 Astronaut:  "The Right Stuff"
 Fireman:    "Backdraft"
 Sysadmin:   Uh... gee, I'm really drawing a blank here... "Wargames"?

#C12
 YOUR WORK HOURS
#C21
 Astronaut:  Fairly long days during the mission, but lots and lots of
             time between missions to relax.
 Fireman:    24-hour shifts, but 48 hours between shifts to relax.
 Sysadmin:   Not really "work hours" or even "work days"... more like
             "work millenia."

#C12
 FRINGE BENEFITS OF YOUR JOB
#C21
 Astronaut:  Lots of good stories to tell to impress members of the
             opposite sex.
 Fireman:    Lots of good stories to tell to impress members of the
             opposite sex.
 Sysadmin:   You get ALL of the jokes in "Dilbert."

#C12
 NUMBER OF COMPLAINTS ABOUT YOUR PROFESSION
#C21
 Astronaut:  A few, from people who think the government should be
             spending its money in different ways.
 Fireman:    A few, from people who think you take too long to arrive
             following a 911 call.
 Sysadmin:   You'll have to learn what comes after "trillion" to be able
             to count them all.

#C12
 YOUR VEHICLE
#C21
 Astronaut:  Multimillion-dollar space vehicle atop multimillion-dollar
             rocket.
 Fireman:    Big red truck with flashing lights and siren.
 Sysadmin:   1978 AMC Gremlin.

 In conclusion, if the sysadmin option has seemed the most appealing in
 even one of these categories, you should become a sysadmin.

 Can't you do anything about all this spam I've been getting?