<> *4@7 BROOKSIDE COTTAGE - EPISODE THREE (...NOW WITH ADDED CRAP!) *3]5@6 by Converse / A51 *1]1 @1 I can't remember what this soap was up to now because I typed episode two up ages ago. The word "zYLAX" seems to be entering my head for some strange reason... I just can't figure out why. Also, disregard anything Alan edits in around about here. (Yes, I know you too well Alan! :-)) @2 °ø°ø°ø°ø°ø@1 ]5Aaaanyway, on with the soap:]1 Liverpoooooool BAAaaay, with youuuu eaacch daaaay!!!! Brookside is sponsored by Microsoft.... both of which are renowned for talking shit! Mike & Big Al' are in hospital after being beat up outside Dixons.... ]3]1 Dixons for the best in electrical appliances, PC's and peripherals. 20% sale now on... ]3 Mike:]1 So lah, what d'ya think of the hospital food then? ]3Big Al':]1 It's not so bad, but I think my broken nose is doing something to my sense of taste.... mate! ]3Mike:]1 What time's Bob coming to visit us? ]3Big Al':]1 Around about now actually..... lah. ]3Mike:]1 Here he is. ]3Bob:]1 R'ite laah's, how r'ya doin' like mate kidda... laughin'. ]3Mike:]1 What 'ave yer got in yer 'and mate? ]3Bob:]1 It's a portable telly laaah. ]3Big Al':]1 Where d'ya get that mate? ]3Bob:]1 I sold my car to buy it the other day mate. ]3Big Al':]1 Did yeh? ]3Bob:]1 A hah haaah... sucker, don't be fuckin' daft, I nicked it from Currys. ]3Big Al':]1 Why did ya do that lah? ]3Bob:]1 Coz there was a sign saying "interest free credit". It was "free" and I ]5WAS]1 "interested"... would you "credit" that? ]3Mike:]1 Sounds like a good enuff excuse to me! @5(It's down hill all the way from now on readers-Ed.)@1 ]3Big Al':]1 Rite, let's piss off out of this hossy and beat up some PC owners! The mob visit the local PC World store... They soon bump into Bill & Nigel the Microsoft gang... ]3Mike:]1 E'arr Bill, don't punch us, we've all got PC's now, we ditched those cheapo Amigas... ]3Bill:]1 That's alright then, just promise me you'll never try to attempt to multi-task again. ]3Mike:]1 I promise.... probably. ]3Bill:]1 Are you winding me up? ]3Big Al':]1 Nah Nah lad, we have got PC's honestly... To prove we've ditched the Amiga Bob's gonna tell you a joke about the Amiga... Aren't you Bob? ]3Bob:]1 I am? ]3Big Al':]1 (Now holding a knife to Bob's face) Erm. Yes. ]3Bob:]1 Erm yeah, errr.... Even the Borg refuse to assimilate an Amiga.. lah. ]3Bill:]1 Ahaah ahhaa haaaah!! That was funny.... now quote me your Windows registration number. ]3Big Al':]1 Erm, we haven't installed it yet. ]3Bill:]1 You're a lying twat, aren't you Al'! Windows is installed on all PC's. ]3Big Al':]1 RUN FOR IT LADS... Our multi-tasking, efficient OS and user friendly system has been discovered. The mob legs it and hides.... ]3Bob:]1 Shit mate, that was close, did you think they saw us hiding behind our fingers? ]3Big Al':]1 Naah... ]3Mike:]1 Shit LADS! It's the busies! #7*@1 ]3Busy:]1 Hoi you lot! You were caught on camera nicking the VCR's and TV's... Halt in the name of the law... ]3Bob:]1 Shit mate, I knew we shouldn't have sent that tape into "You've Been Framed!". ]3Mike:]1 DOH! Brookside and Awaaaaaay, with you eaaaaach daaaaay!!! *4@3 NEXT ISSUE!*1@1 All the characters get wiped out as Boris Yeltsin accidentally slips on "the button" and destroys Europe. Don't worry though, because BTF has already arranged to buy in the South African version to replace the British version... Don't miss it! #7*@1 Police, to you and me.