@2{THE REG BOTTOMSLIP COLUMN
      @3
      }Oh no! He's back again !
      @4


      Hi  AZ  dudes,  Reg  is back.    My ever inflating ego and personal
      slaggings  off  of  the  AZ team are paying dividends at last.    I
      have  been  asked  to tone it down a bit in the swearing department
      and especially in the slaggings dept.    Ok,I am a reasonable kinda
      guy, bollocks to all of ya!
@3
      I  am  thinking  of  writing  a  book  called  "Thoughts Of A Right
      Bastard"  It  will  be  the  culmination and record of every single
      thought  that has ever entered my brain on such diverse subjects as
      Tea  Making,  Ploughing awkward fields, getting the best till queue
      at  Sainsbury's  etc.     I expect the book to run to about 500,000
      pages.    This column is a snippet from the book.
@5
      What  do  you  think  of  blokes  that  wear  pony  tails?    In my
      experience,  every one I have ever known with a Pony tail is either
      a  total  drip or a total bastard!    There is an old Bob Monkhouse
      joke  that  goes something like, If you look under a ponies tail or
      under  a blokes pony tail either way you will see a right arsehole.
@4      Never  a truer word spoken.    WHY though?    Why do grown men wear
      the  back  of their hair in a tail?    Do they think it looks cool?
      Or hard?    Personally I think they secretly want to be a girl, how
      long before they start wearing Pig tails?
@3
      Now  since this crap mag is supposed to be about programming I feel
      I  ought to show you a few Amos tricks.    This is for begginers by
      the  way,  other, more experienced users will already have done all
      this.
@7
      How to open a screen:
      --------------------- @1
      10 Goto Shed
      20 Get Hammer
      30 Smash hammer head onto TV screen
      40 End
@7
      How to PEEK the contents of a bank:
      ---------------------------------- @1
      10 Goto Barclays
      20 Wait near Counter
      30 When safe is opened
      40 Look inside
      50 End
@7      Using FLASH
      ----------- @1
      10 Goto park
      20 wait for granny
      30 Whip it out
      40 Twirl around a few times
      50 Put it back
      60 Zip up
      70 Leg it
      80 End
@7
      Pokeing memory:
      --------------- @1
      10 Take sharp Pencil
      20 Insert in ear
      30 Poke around 
      40 Wait for blood
      50 End 
@4

      Pretty  simple  init!     See  there  is no reason you shouldn't be
      knocking  up  Lemmings  style games in no time.    Who says I never
      contribute anything worthwhile?    Be seeing you assholes.

@1
      Reggie B.

@3 [6
      P.S
      A  few  people  have asked AZ editors who I am because they want to
      bloody  my  nose.      Well before you get too
      lary I think I'de better tell  you that  apart
      from being 25 stone  and extremely  violent, I
      will  be  getting  out of nick soon and I have
      your addresses.   I would  shut up now if I
      was you and I may just forget what you have
      said.
@5

      Erm, well, fine and dandy Reggy me old fat m8.  Don't forget that I
      am coming to visit you this week in the nick.  I'll bring yer usual
      helping of limbs and eyeballs and are you sure you want me to bring
      those scissors ?  After all, I think you suit yer pig tails ! -Andy
@1
      End.