Editorial - Martyn/17bit ------------------------- In General. ----------- Here I am yet again writing another editorial, hopefully the quality of the material we included on Issue 3 will be repeated again on this issue, the Cli tools were much appreciated by many people. People have said that there doesnt seem to be as much 17Bit banter on as there used to be on the older 17Bit updates - this is due to the amount of work that goes into producing a monthly discmag and material of course! We are hoping to include more of our silly antics on future issues but then we get people who say there should be less text and more programs... we just cannot win! At least the 3rd issue of Newsflash calmed a few people down due to an alternate colour scheme and a different font, making the presentation a great deal easier on the eyes. If you would like any modification do not sit mumbling it under your breath TELL US! You cannot expect changes without giving us some kind of explanation of how you want things doing. To Show or not to Show that is the question. -------------------------------------------- The Christmas Commodore Show looms ever closer and at this stage it doesnt look likely that we will be there. Shock! Horror! Why is this so you may ask? Well sit comfortably then I will begin... Commodore in their infinite wisdom have decided that they are running the show along with a major hardware distributor. Ok, CBM running the CBM show, sounds fair enough to me - in fact it even sounds a good idea. But they have decided to squeeze more cash out of the event by charging more for the stands, and whilst we enjoy doing the shows it means that if we go down we face the real possibility of losing money, and if we have a small stand then this also means too few people get to meet us (lots didnt last time due to the crowds) and if we have a large stand then we have to take LOTS of PD down to sell in order to subsidise the cost of the stand and the staff. Tough situation. Quite a few people have expressed their dismay that we will not be present but while I realise that we do need to be 'seen' and it certainly doesnt do us any harm - it also gets us in a right mess. The process of preparing and doing a show takes about 2weeks out of our schedule, anyone who tried to order anything during late May/Early June and during July will have noticed the delays that were caused by the show. A case of the after effects doing us more harm than the good the show did. I only wish there was some way of doing the show and keeping the operation going at the same time, but if we do the show we do need a big stand! (Ours was one of the biggest, crowdiest stands at the show last time) and I think the show will be poorer for our absence - and I am not being big-headed in saying that. I will be down one of the days though, probably with a few of the others to see the mess it is. People seem to think that because there is a computer shopper show there will be no mass selling by the cheapo retailers - think again, its just another opportunity for them to sell loads of gear. Final note to Commodore - thanks guys, you screwed the whole thing up - you should be encouraging people to attend and not turning them away... Possibly the UK's largest Amiga user group and we wont be there.. who's loss is that? The answer is everyones.. including Commodore.. Feedback/Letters/JunkMail/Comments/Criticisms --------------------------------------------- As ever thanks to all the people who continue to write with usual bits of info, banter, hints, help and flys. (Flys because one sicko sellotapes live flys to his letters). We were privelaged to a visit from Richard Vanner of Mandarin the other week, it was nice to meet him and we discussed many things but mostly the prospect of the language AMOS which is based on their popular ST language STOS. For further information on AMOS read the preview on issue 3 of Newsflash - it promises much but between you and me I wouldnt wait up for it, I would say it will be Christmas at the earliest before it appears. Tony Hendry has had a few virus problems, this is due to some fool renaming the Byte Bandit virus to 'Byte Bimbo' - a similar thing was done by LSD (very clever of you Mr Lazenby) the virus is the same as the Byte Bandit but creeps through virus killers due to the different text. An upto date killer should be on this disc provided by the Pseudo Ops - thanks guys. Daz 'Grotbag' Clarke asked if there was a cli listing/dir utility that lists file sizes in hex as he had to convert them and he is getting thoroughly brassed off. I don't know of one but have noticed that a few programs directory doofers do this, try a soundtracker preset editor Daz old boy - peculiar but it should work! Daz asks when VX3.4 will be out.. hmm toughy this one as Steve Tibbet is apparantly working on an all new version that will work like VIP etc and will be able to just spot new viruses through a database. No news on release although we should recieve it from Steve when its released. Daz also enclosed his particulars (which were particularly small and floppy) nethertheless here they are in all their glory... NAME Darren 'Daz' Clarke AGE 17 (A twinkle in the Milkmans Eye) AMIGA NAME Jackal, Uncle Grotbags BEST GAMES Falcon, IK+, Rtype, Operation Wolf BEST DEMOS Wild Copper, Bar Brian, Thrust (Otti), Doc Demos More Daztails follow... WORST GAME Interceptor BEST MUSIC Wildcoppers Musician, Digital Force, Allisters Stuff BEST GFX Razor, Doc, Wildcopper, Cinemaware & More! BEST UTILS Dpaint 3, Virus X 3.2, Cli Wizard BEST VIDEOS'89 Licence to Drive, Midnight Run BEST FILM'89 Young Guns BEST RADIO Steve Wright In The Afternoon (Argh! I hate it!) BEST TV MTV, SKY Movies (You mean it works?), James Whale BEST COM-MUSIC Guns & Roses, Pet Shop Boys, Fastway BEST FOOD McDonalds, Ice Cream, Chinese (Healthy sod) BEST DRINK Pepsi, Miller Lite, Budwieser (Young Alko) BEST FILMS Lost Boys, Robocop, Predator, License to Drive BEST MAGS Gorezone, Fangoria, Various Comp Mags, 2000AD, Viz PET HATES STs, Viruses There you go the guy with a worse record for the old four letter lingo than our own under-privelaged picnic man - Dave. Dazz was the winner of a Running Man T-shirt which he wanted us all to sign(!) which we all did! (Strange person, maybe in years to come it may be worth 20p). Paul Strong of Ashford in Middlesex had some strong comments to make recently... 'Firstly I think 17Bit is doing all Amiga Owners a great service in as far as Newsflash is concerned and the collection of Pd discs' - Ok so good so far... 'But after placing two orders recently for PD software and disc magazines I am disapointed with your service because of the time it took for the orders to come back to me. A couple of weeks ago I sent you an order for two previous updates and 4 Pd discs and Newsflash. The order was posted 7.20am first class post so as to arrive Friday Morning or Saturday at the very latest. I then waited and the order arrived 9 days later on Saturday July 29th. Not terrible but not good either, especially when most other PD companies offer same day despatch, I could have had my discs a whole week earlier. Come on 17Bit stop playing Kick off and get working. I think a great company should be able to match its products with a great service. If the competition can offer a great service you can surely match it!' Some good points to which I have lots of lovely answers... First and most important of all is the fact that no matter when you post something you can NEVER (unless you pay for a special service) guarantee it will be there on a specific day. Thats not a cop-out just fact and its the same when we post things, often we post things and they take 4 days to get there first class, not our fault but we get the stick and all we did was to post it as soon as possible. The best thing to do is order with Access/Visa over the phone! In fact because of the postal problems we faced on a few occasions we dropped the '24hour delivery' note from our ads, it just wasnt feasible with the post doing their best to cock it up. In the early days were chuffed that most orders went out the same day - because we had so many orders per day it was just a matter of doing them and getting them out. Now a days with in excess of 8,000 members (many of whom subscribing to disc mags) it represents a great deal more work for all the staff, much more mail and obviously its difficult to cope with the demand - which is why we have moved offices and sorted a new system out. This system will eventually reap dividends as far as speed is concerned, with a bit of luck problems like Pauls will be a thing of the past. I would like to make it clear however that we have and always will try to get as much out as possible - we hate delays and backlogs and its true to say that the June CBM show caused a backlog that lasted 6 weeks... The new system works remarkably well, you will have noticed that the parcels you know recieve are computer printed, just one of the small changes that speeds both parcelling, labelling and postage speed up. I would also like to say that to compare us with other PD companies is a bit of a mistake and we are definatly NOT like any other PD company.. I don't mean that to sound bad its just the way it is, we do things our way and nobody elses.. we now rely totally on our own sources and influences to get new PD, unlike most others who just get things from other libraries. Also if other PD companies processed as many orders, enquiries, etc as us I am quite sure that they would not be able to offer same day despatch of all orders... something we are working on but it will be a while off.. The Kick Off remark is a little unfair, ok so we do play Kick Off but not all day! We do have a league and it does take place after 5.30 (the boys do need a rest every now and again!) We do work 6 days a week too! Heres some 'stupid' ideas suggested Paul... (his words not mine) 'What about a special disc with a number of digitised shots of you lot, playing kick off, working, the main bits like the laser printer, the duplicator etc' - yes indeed a silly suggestion but its by all means not the first time we've been asked! (hmm I suppose we will do one someday) 'How about selling posters of all the latest games' erm, well the problem would be the postage and packing.. cop out? yes. Plus no-one would want a Xenon 2 poster - you seen the ad? yuk. But if there is a large enough response we will think about it... 'Where can I find the moisty bit on Update 6?' - Simple, rather easy solution to this, just click your mouse pointer on the round bit of the 'P' in 'Update' (at the top of the screen) until it disappears. Then press return.. easy huh? Theres also a hidden bit on Newsflash 4, but thats for you to find out! FAX OFF! -------- Many people have asked if we have got a fax and the answer is YES! (Usually used for faxing through our adverts the morning we realise that that its the deadline for inclusion) Our fax is on our normal number so you can now send orders by fax if you wish! Continuing the musical ramblings of Newsflash III ------------------------------------------------- Well, Dave the Rave certainly wound a few people up with his comments about Jarre, especially coming from the lips of such a devout Smiths fan. Amongst these to get irritated was none other than the quiet spoken Devonian chap, Allister Brimble who promised a storming letter pouting his opinions on the subject. If this arrives then of course it will get included. If there are, like me any Floyd fans out there, do yourself a favour and grab 'Pros and Cons of Hitchiking' and 'Radio Kaos' both by Roger Waters - great stuff especially if you are into 'The Wall' or 'The Final Cut'. (Besides 'Pros and Cons' has a pervy cover! hehehe) The Software Season Approacheth ------------------------------- The good lord looked upon the software scene and thus spake, blimey mateys its been a while since there was some decent stuff so why not release loads of it so the poor buggers won't know which way to turn. And lo, it came to pass that during the last few months of the year of our lord nineteen hundred three score and tweny four plus a few more that lots of software were released and lo, the people were chuffed to bits. The deciples also know as The Bitmap Bruvs took it upon themselves to be reborn in the form of Xenon 2 and lo our god was pleased and he did play the game and thus attained a top score. And lo the messiah appeared, known by the name of Dino Dini he did program a splendid footy proggy and bugger me if didnt go and make it better... Who to you oh earth and sea for the devil sends his wrath, it has a human price, it has a price of 19.95 and is called Jaws so don't be lead into temptation by that one... More news from the software messiah soon! Reformed or Retarded? --------------------- Having been visiting the local hostilery a little too much lately and aquiring a rather well endowed beer gut I have found the new me! Yes, its true folks, I have stopped drinking beer... panic not as I'm supping lager now tho... Anyway I have been out and bought myself an exercise bike so the gut should disappear soon (hopefully!).. all this over indulgence in life has been the ruin of me (although thats not my opinion). I might even strap some wheels on it and come to work on it!! Part 2 of my reformation involves the new facility I have - sight! For two long I have struggled to read anything further than 4 foot, but with the aid of my flexible friends (contact lenses) I am now gifted with sight.. thank the lord its a miracle!! (well not really but ya gotta give him a plug now and again bless his little cotton socks). I'll be giving the bike a good thrashing tonight and I might even have a go on it... the speedo can clock upto 60 km/h but steve (Mr Bunman) in his wisdom asked if the speedo went up to 70 mph... (oh dear...) Introducing the Slang Names... ------------------------------ Paul - Answers the phone, makes incredibly silly remarks that Ben Elton couldnt think up for one of his comedy series.. eg 'Looking through a Technics hifi catalogue... "hey! this thing doesnt say which speakers are Wharfedales!"' silly but true.. he must lie in bed thinking these up... Known as Paul, Gimmer, Fluffy Duck, Sharpy (The Sparky) - for his dubious electrical talents. Dave - Known as Dave, boring? well he does listen to the Smiths and if he's known by anyone word its usually unpronouncable or a bit risky to put on here. Another person who now wears contact lenses... Currently in love (aaahhhh) but the radiator won't have any of it.. Steve - The Bun Man, has put more buns in more ovens than Cecil Parkinson. Likes nothing better than nipping to the bakers for his daily ration of Mr Men Iced Buns. Vanillas are another of his specialities. Total psycho, sicko and pervo - married too, aged 26ish (so he tells us). Want info on any BFPO discs? Ask the Bun Man.... Carl - Another bun feaster but not half as much as Mr Bun himself. Could earn the name of The Jester due to the amount of times he goes to the said sandwich bar in order to fetch us all Bacon Sandwiches. Newest staff member of 17Bit and not a bad Kick off player either.. Dean - Reviews games, plays games and eats sausage sandwiches. Its a tough life for Dean and his cat Thomas. When he's not reviewing Stunt Car from Microprose he is usually writing words of merit about other pieces of software for leisure magazine FREESTYLE - pick it up from your local retailer usually free of charge. Little Me - (or should that be little me with the big beer gut and exercise bike sporting his anti glare contact lenses??) well i'm known as Martyn as well as probably lots of other things when my office door is shut! On compunet and Micronet plus the BBS's Im known as Spadge however, also in the few demos I have done over the last year or so. I used to have a ridiculous name for my creations but stopped using it because it was far too silly... Reformed or Retarded Update - A day later... -------------------------------------------- Well exactly 2 hours after completing 6 gruelling kilometres on my exercise bike (and thats six km up a steep hill with no free wheeling) I was well and truly shXXXXX sorry tired out... Dave did well managing .7 kilometres before being dragged away puffing and panting! After working up a rather large sweat we retreated to the pub and the reformation didnt last too long, 1 half of lager wasnt the way it was to be and as usual it was a case of stupours all round. Me and a friend won the Bombay Mix eating competition managing 6 packets each while Dave could only handle 3... At least I can burn off the over-indulgence tonight and do about 10km before we go to the pub for the trivia quiz we never ever win... All I can say is 'theres no need to rush things...' these things have to be done in stages.. rather like the tour de france so I'll get on my bike and get pedalling. Have you been grabbed by the Xenites lately? -------------------------------------------- If not then you will be, Xenon 2 is everything it was reported to be. We saw the finished St article yesterday and it looked great, now we have got and played the Amiga level 1 demo and its even better than the ST version. Of course the sound is much better and the game plays better due to increased speed and an overall fluidity (if thats a real word - I doubt it but who cares!!). Look out for Xenon 2 - the megablast (certainly is that) - it should be out sometime this month. Check out the review by Dean who certainly has had his Xenites grabbed.. How much pain did he go through? Read the review! We were planning to do a silly hidden interview with some more programmers who call themselves 'The BitSlack Bruvvers' but we were unable to get sufficient quantites of wide camera lenses and dark glasses. The Bruvvers are responsible for quite a number of icons once used by a Norwegian Fisherman. Hopefully we will secure an interview soon... When Enough is Enough.. ----------------------- I have just checked the size of this file and I can see that I have rambled on for far too long... I just get giddy and waffle away.. So here endeth my psalm for Newsflash 4.. hope you enjoy the disc... Martyn 'Of that he who is called Martyn' - 17 Bit.. Thanks and respects in relevent order go to: God, Gods mates, God's personal masseur, God's drinks cabinet, God's small plastic implement that we never really ever used but it was nice to know that if the need had arose we could have used it. God's settee (for it is a really a comfy couch). Sorry if all that god twaddle upsets anyone but he's our mate due to him coming third in our animated pointer competition and he duly won himself a Pacmania mug and a Thunderbirds pin on badge...