------------------------------------------ LURK: The Invisible Amigaware Investigator ------------------------------------------ The rumors about me aren't true. I don't get all my information by kibitzing in stores and never buying anything. And another thing: I haven't seen all there is to see in the way of Amiga wares. Send me stuff! Would you believe my uncle is night watchman at the Antarctic Worldwide Amigawares Warehouse and he lets me come in every night? Well, that's my story and I'm sticking to it. The first wearable Amiga product? It may be T-shirts and sweatshirts from T's Me, of PO Box 11746, Santa Ana CA. Small, medium, large and extra large. The garments feature the Amiga logo. Prices: $7.50 for a black T-shirt, $9.50 for a multicolored one, $13 and $15 for sweatshirts in the same categories. Precision Software's SUPERBASE AMIGA is being marketed by Progressive Peripherals and Software, 464 Kalamath St., Denver, CO 80204 (303/825-4144). Great Galloping Dollar signs! I couldn't find a price on the flyer I received. I've had my problems with TextCraft. This is being written with Scribble, a $100 text processor from Micro Systems Software Inc., 4301-18 Oak Circle, Boca Raton, FL 33431. Ask your dealer to let you test-drive it. PAR Software out of PO Box 1089, Vancouver WA 98666 (206/695-1368) offers two software packages. In the PAR Home 1 package are Checkbook Accounting, Budget Management, Financial Evaluations, Lease vs. Buy, Personal Financial Statements, Spendaholics Exam, and Investment Analysis The PAR Real 1 package has Property Investment Analysis, Financial Statements, Key Business Ratios, Loan Evaluations, Property Lease vs Buy, Form Generator, and Multi-Reporting and Graphics. PAR, standing for Professional Automation resources, publishes a periodic flyer describing its products. Dare I admit I've grown tired of Marble Madness? It's still the most engaging arcade program I know of. OK: DeluxePaint and Aegis Images are tied in my book, "Famous Art Programs." GraphiCraft has a lower price going for it and, unfortunately, my early version of that program won't produce screens useable by DPSLIDE. I got DeluxePaint first and was enthralled. Images obtained later, has some features DP doesn't. I like Compute!'s AmigaDOS Reference Guide. You got to admire anyone with enough chutzpah to put an exclamation point in their name. Still, as a beginner, I found many things not well enough explained. I'm still getting new AmigaDos commands from friends, people who write and call. Haven't tried FutureSound, but someone sent a disk with a few words on it. It costs $175 from Applied Arts, 15 Oak Ridge Road, Medford, MA 01255. Before you make up your mind you can't live without it, find out how many seconds of digital sound (any sound you can make) can be stored on a disk before it fills. Then decide. And check with your dealer. Write Hand from Byte by Byte, 3736 Bee Cave Rd., Suite 3., Austin, TX 78746, is a word processor that's not difficult to use. Price is $50. $50. I like it when people put nice round prices on things. You can't fool me with a $49.99 price tag. "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy," interactive fiction from Infocom, retains the beautiful wackiness of the original book. I'll probably never make it to the end, since I forget what I'm doing every time I go to the refrigerator. But this work gives me a sense of wandering that I enjoy. Don't bother with it if you've tried "adventures" and weren't impressed. You either are or you aren't the type. Parting words are an old joke as a new limerick. Behold the software creatures: Painful but excellent teachers. These lugubrious lugs Vends wares that have bugs Which they simply pass off as features. No, I haven't found any bugs in anything mentioned in this column. I did send off for some inexpensive software that turned out to be so mundane, so unworthy, so primitive, so lacking in graphics and sound, that I demanded and got my money back. There was nothing wrong with it. It was just dumb dumb dumb -- the kind of stuff computer magazines published in 1978, when people were impressed by anything that printed anything on a computer screen. Do the same thing if need be. The Amiga is the best computer around. You shouldn't settle for less than exactly what a product's makers claim it will do. Until then, LURK END OF TEXT