{6 Annoying Things {4 By Ken D. {7Yes, it's {3another {7of those "{5Things I really hate{5" articles. {31. {4New Software which won't run on the A500+ {7 You would think that, after being available for {46 {7months now, coders would have sussed that people }7DO {7own the new machine, and therefore want games that work. But, no, let's just keep the same, non-working protection guys, why bother?. {2Kickstart 2.0 {7has only been around for a couple of years, after all. Worse than this is the {1crackers and trainers {7which turn a piece of working software into a {6formatted disk. {7Watch that power light }2flash! {7 Please, guys, if you're going to crack a game, {5please {7check it runs on the A500+ as well. Please? Pretty please? If anyone has a working A500+ version of {6`Mega-lo-Mania',{7 contact me! {32. {4Old Software which won't run on the A500+ {7 OK, it has to be expected that there will be software that is incompatible. But most of this is due to {2lousy coding! {7Games which start up, say to themselves {5"Aha! Expansion Memory! Into Fast RAM with my data!"{7, and then crashes because there isn't any bloody {4Fast {7RAM, just {5chip, chip {7and more {5chip{7! Some other software seems prone to screen corruption, as if the modulo is set wrong. }2Surely {7this could be fixed my a small piece of code. Anyone out there going to knock a routine up? {4Demos, intros and {5trainers {7seem particularly prone to this... (I think you'll find that this problem can be solved by allocating {4`absolute' {7memory instead of {4fastmem. {7A small program running in the background trapping non-working code, would seem to be an interesting idea! {3Coders?? {5-Ed.{7) There is some (mostly PD) software that won't run properly, as KS2.04 doesn't immediately open up a screen after booting; it waits until something is output to the screen. This causes software such as NUKE 1.3b and slideshows to appear without any text, or not appear at all. Luckily, this is easily fixed, just shove an {5"Echo"{7 at the start of the startup-sequence. {33. {4Upgrades to XCopy. {7 Why!?! "Hey guys, we've just changed a {2pixel {7at the top left of the screen, let's call it {6version 10.4{7". A few weeks later ... "Well, that's the mouse pointer speed changed, time for version 12.3..." In normal circumstances, a manufacturer would release a piece of software as version 1.0. A few months later, bug reports would be flooding in, so they fix these, add a few features, and release version 1.1. The process of refinement goes on, up to (say) 1.5. A couple of years after the original launch, version 2.0 is released, and the whole process continues over again. In the past 6 months, I have recieved 4 {3(count 'em) {74 different versions of {4XCopy.{7 And what's the difference between them?. Well, 6.4 has new graphics, you can switch to 60HZ and there are a few minor bugs fixed, but }4BUGGER ALL ELSE! {7There's very little different to XCopy 3.4, which wasn't that far apart from XCopy 2.2! Fine, it's probably the worlds most popular Amiga disk copier (although I prefer {6SuperDuper 2.0 {7myself), but let's not go overboard, hmmm? Especially since }7Cyclone {7(bundled with XCopy) is hopeless. {34. {4Magazines who hype crap games. {4 Sorry? {5Did someone say "{2Amiga Format{5"? {6Surely you jest?! {7 We're talking about the magazine which gave "{1The Blues Brothers{7" }688% {7here, you know? {1The Blues Brothers{7, probably the crappest game of all time, with its uncontrollable characters, and unplayable two player mode. And the music - }7barf! {7 I bet the wonderful playable demo that AF gave satisfied the public, didn't it... especially since it {3didn't work{7 on most machines. They forgot that a {5snapshot{7 from an {2Action Replay cartridge {7would only run on machines with the same configuarion. And when you died ... {2sorry folks{7, time to reset the machine, and load again! {4If I was Titus, I'd sue. {35. {4Magazines which ignore that fact that the piracy scene exists. {7 Oh no, not {2Amiga Format {7again! It's not }7THAT{7 bad... (who says? -Ed) Take a look at the {5May 1992 issue{7, {4PD section. {7Oh look, there's LSD's {3Grapevine 8 {7reviewed; I wonder what the review has to say about the fact that it's aimed at {2pirates{7, and the {2Amiga piracy scene {7? Hmmm...bugger all, it would appear. Great for contacting coders, eh? I suppose that's what he takes all the appeals for "{4contacts{7" as... {36. {4Schools which waste money on unnessasary equipment. {7 It's criminal ... I'm typing this on a {3B2000{7, with {28 {7Megs of Fast RAM, 1 Meg of chip, an {168020{7 accelerator board, {4PC bridgeboard, {6extra floppy,{7 and {452Meg hard drive{7. It's one of 3 in this room, and there are 4 A500s, with 2 Megs, extra drives etc. and what do we use them for? }4DPAINT! {7 Next to me is a {5Panasonic VW-EC300 {7Video Editing Controller, linked to 2 {3SVHS {7Stereo video decks. This is connected to this conputer via a G2 genlock/VideoCentre. Currently there are only {52 {7people in the school that know how to use this equipment - Me and a friend (Hi, Pete). The teacher in charge of this room, from the Art Department (naturally), hasn't got a snowballs chance of getting anywhere with it. He's still reading the manual. But never mind, because said Art Teacher has just left for a term, to go around other schools in the area, telling them how to use computers... {37. {45 (or more) disk games. I loved the first Lesuire Suit Larry. Not only was it a great game, but it came on one disk. Now we're up to LSL 5 (were did LSL 4 go?), and it's SEVEN disks. Fine for those with a hard drive, but for floppy users (even with a second drive), you had better get used to swapping those disks every time you ever a new location. The game becomes unplayable before the player has got anywere, and the player gives up. {38. {4RSI-Demomaker Intros {7 "{3Moron of MegaCrackers Game Compilation No. 352{7", eh?. Disk in, boot up. ({4Whirr .... Grunt .....{7) Oh look, a nice intro. Hmmm ... I'm sure I've seen that font before, though... and that parallax star effect ... and that vector object ... and those bob stars ... and .... Listen, folks, the {2RSI-Demomaker {7just doesn't look original anymore. Great for showing your mother how good a coder you are (splutter), but PLEASE no more rehashed single-file compilations with your "groups" RSI-DM intro at the start. Leave it to the big boys, hmmm? (Look at Crystals, LSDs, Vision Factorys intros, and you'll see why...) {39. {4Programs with foriegn keymaps There aren't too many of these, but you'll know when you get one. The German ones reverse the y and z keys, giving zou some strange looking words. The French has the q and a's reverse, which cqn be auite qnnoying. And it's not just a case of a simple "Setmap GB", because these buggers read the keyboard directly. Cheers, guys! Danke schon, fellas! {310. {4People who do "annoying things" lists }4Moaning bastards! {1If you don't like the {4Amiga {1so much, {2sell it! ({3Personally Ken, {7I find the German keymap easier to use because I have become accustomed to it. If people start {6`Setmap GB'ing {7in their startup sequences, well then the confusion starts for me!!! Thanks for this coooool article. {7I liked the comments about "{4Amiga Format{7"! I admit to being }3really {3shocked when I read their {4`Grapevine review'. {7I thought the way in which these supposed `teams of experts' slagged off the whole way in which the scene works {5fucking discusting. {7I haven't got the actual article here because I personally never buy the magazine, but I remember some comments about how we slag off {4computer-illiterates {7by calling them `lamers'. They said something along the lines of it being {6`socially backward'. {7Socially backward! Bloody cheek! {1In my view it's just jealousy! {4AF {7could never get away with printing the articles Grapevine does, and furthermore if GV was sold in shops at 3 quid a go as AF is, I know which one I'd buy. The {6Amiga Format {7team in fact know very little about the Amiga, and would never get involved with the scene because of the scene's elitism. I know this is a {1soap-box lecture{7, but I think you'll agree that when {2ST/Amiga {7format split up, the Amiga side got a very raw deal..... -Ed) Finish.