Hello, Steffen!
                              ===============
                      Yep, it's RokDaZone back again.
Believe it or not, by miracle, I finally got something to mail back to you!
       Maybe not new, but at least something with an alibi function.

I  have  just  finished  my  articles  for  ABNORMALIA#5.  Hard times to go
through  but it won't hurt me really.  This is also why I took much time to
finish  this  letter  (or  better:  To start it up) - moreover I've been on
vacation through Sweden for three entire weeks (as you should know by now).
I will remain in the 42-team, but I also run a section for ABNORMALIA right
now,  lateron  I'll  spread the idea to more mags, but this won't effect my
                    work for 42 as homebase of TM(!)LB.

Afterall,  42  has  done  quite  well.   It  entered the Eurocharts at once
(although  at the last position) and with a steady supply of new issues, it
                      will climb upwards.  No doubts!

Well,  to  be  exact, I ain't an AMIGA musician really anymore.  Nowadays I
concentrate  on  doing  MIDI-stuff for myself and later maybe together with
some  friends  (one has the ideas, I have the melodies and the next one the
                             connections ;-> )

                      About my personal difficulties:
"[...]  This  wednesday,  I stood on a bridge.  This bridge is 40 metres in
height  and unnumbered people have committed suicide there.  Well, I always
had  fear  for  heights, but that very day, I stood in the middle and I was
able  to look straight down!  It was a turning point in my life.  That very
day,  I  drove  off  to  Mona  and told her everything.  She was awilled to
forgive  me,  but  still  I  thought it would be better to part.  And so we
ain't  together  anymore.  I almost forgot how it felt to cry but this very
day,  I  shed  many  tears.  Well, We have parted in friendship.  She still
hopes  we  will  be  together soon, but I really don't think so...  I still
            love her, but as a friend not as a partner.  [...]"

Yes,  this  was  the  end,  described  in a letter a couple of days after I
parted  with  Mona.   Soon,  I  came  together  with Meike - we still are a
couple.   Happy End?  Nope.  I came to realize that Meike might look better
and has a nicer body.  It is also true that she has MUCH more money than me
- so convenience came my way.  We had plenty of fun together and she really
likes  my friends and vice versa.  So, where is the problem?  Easy.  I came
to  realize  that Mona was the only person on earth (as far as I know) that
didn't only try to accept me and all my strangenesses, but she loved me for
what  I  am!   She  never feeled ashamed when I was dressing totally messy.
She  never  demanded  me  to be styled or cool.  To sum up:  I almost never
felt like I would have to change myself in order to keep interest alive.  I
never  would  change  for  a woman, but then it's at least depressing to be
always  in danger for some handsome asshole would come and get her away for
a  night...   Also  in  things  of  sex, Meike never reacted on me.  It was
always  her, demanding.  With Mona it was most important that the other one
would  be  satisfied  so both concentrated on the partner and this made the
                            nights so special.
This  all sounds like Meike is a dragful person.  She isn't!  She is one of
the  nicest  little  women  I ever met in my life and I must say I enjoy it
when  she is around (and her body makes me go wrgxhs!) - but as partners we
don't  fit  really.   Too bad really.  Having a partner of Mona's qualities
combined with the ones from Meike and I would never look after another girl
                                 anymore!
Well, you know, Mona has another bloke.  We both nowadays agree in the fact
that we belong to eachothers, but we also fear to get hurt again or that it
all  starts  like it was then.  Also we have two cliques which really don't
fit  together.   She'd  be  welcomed  in mine, but she wouldn't like it for
Meike  being  around.   I  won't  be  welcomed in hers as Fabian (the other
bloke)  is in there - he hates me b.t.w.!  A friend of mine is in a similar
position,  but  he  decided to leave it all behind.  He parted with his new
girlfriend  and  told  his  old one to go out of his way.  He said that his
heart tells him to fall down on his knees in front of his old love, but his
mind  says  "No  way!"  So,  he wants to go out to make some trouble to the
   world by having a party called life.  Nice but depressing somehow...

Ok,  I'll  finish this letter now as I have to do some further writings for
                 the  MARVELLOUS(!)  LUNATICS  BALL  now.
                                   yours
                                  Henning
                                    aka
                             RokDaZone/INFECT

                      1994, I'm outta here! See ya...