¶N €¢01þ02GIRL TROUBLEþ01
 

 ¢02Written By:¢03 Deadlock/Slam!.

 ¢02   Yo   fans,   I  suppose,  by  that
 heading,  I've  just  made  all those
 little  kids  out  there,  who are to
 scared to ask a girl for a kiss, read
 this.   Well,  no,  this  is a bit of
 joke  about common shit that happens.
 So, get your favourite stap-ons ready
 and  warm  up  those Chocalate coated
 dildos, and enjoy this waist of time!

 PROBLEM:  
    Now  this ones, a real pain in the
 ass!   You see an incredable girl and
 deside  that  you  would  like to rub
 your  hands all over her ............
 nahh...   lets  just  say, that you'd
 like  to  get to know her.  The funny
 thing  is, She has an incredably ugly
 friend.   So  you to this great babe,
 but you get little responce from her,
 other than smiling a lot, and looking
 at  her  blender-face  of  a  friend.
 Then,  after  a  while, the bitch you
 like  says,  "  I'll  leave  you  two
 alone." ¢15 HOLY SHIT!!¢02  She thought you
 were   after   her  cats-ass-for-face
 friend.   I  think  that, that really
 sucks,  and  it happens, if you stare
 at  a  babe, and someone either close
 to  her,  or  behind her, thinks that
 your staring at them!
    
 JONNY'S SOLUTION:
    Okay, this ones a hard one.  Well,
 how  about this.  One good way to get
 the  message  across to a girl, is to
 expose  yourself  to  them.   This is
 great,  whilest  going  to  church or
 even better, a Funeral.  I know, that
 if  I  was at Church, and a nice girl
 exposed   herself   to   me,  I'd  be
 impressed.   Try it.  Okay, about the
 bitch  who  would need no make-up, to
 get  a  part  in  ¢03GODZILLA¢02, try this.
 One  way,  would  be to headbutt her.
 This  has amazing results, and If you
 do it properly, I'll bet a Furry left
 testicle,  that  she'll be out of the
 race  for a while.  Also, if your not
 the headbutting type, try just saying
 these  nice,  but  firm words, "¢01 FUCK
 YOU  LOOK  LIKE A FOSSILIZED PIECE OF
 CAMEL'S  BUMFLUFF¢02.", and unless she's
 a  diehard  fan of yours, I think she
 will get the idea.

 PROBLEM:
    Well,  ofcourse,  another problem,
 is  the good 'ole girl who you get in
 the back room, only to find, she's in
 love  with you, but is going out with
 a  huge  motherfucker  of  a guy, who
 will  shit  in your face, for yawning
 near  his  girlfriend.  If there is a
 time  that  you've nearly had a heart
 attack,  it would have been the time,
 that  you met this girl, and everyone
 around,  new  that  you  screwed her,
 including her boyfriends best buddy!

 JONNY'S SOLUTION:
    Ahhhh...I  had  this  problem with
 Mr.T's babe.  the solution is simple.
 You  can leave town, never to return,
 say   that  you  are  gay,  and  that
 rooting his girlfriend is not on your
 mind, or join the Foreign Legion!

 PROBLEM:
    Okay,  lets  set the scene here...
 You've  just  arrived  at  this  very
 happening  party, and low and behold,
 your  extremely  pissed!   Then,  you
 think,  I  feel like a bit of Action,
 and go in search of a babe, to have a
 bit  of  fun.   You  find one, who is
 okay,  but  your  in love with a nice
 girl,  and your trying to impress her
 at   school.   Anyway,  back  at  the
 party,  you  screw the babe, and have
 fun, go home and all is fine.
    Then,  at  school, you get to your
 locker, and there waiting for you, is
 this  girl,  you  got  at  the party!
 SHIT!    The  girl,  wont  leave  you
 alone, and your hopeing that the girl
 your  inlove  with  wont see you with
 her.   Another point is that the girl
 from  the  party, is not that good on
 the  looks  side, and is a real slut.
 Being seen with her, could cause rep.
 problems.

 JONNY'S SOLUTION:        
    Now,  this  party babe is a quick,
 and good root.  If so, tell her, that
 a  skinhead  is  after  you,  and you
 can't stop and talk to anyone or even
 stand  in  the  one place.  Then tell
 her  to  come  around on nights, that
 your girlfriend or future girlfriend,
 is not around.  Then just use her for
 a  quick  Fuck.  But, if she is ugly,
 tell  her that she is related to you,
 and  it  would  be  insest  to  screw
 again.   If you tell her where to go,
 it may get back to the babe you love,
 which  would  not be rad at all!  So,
 another one, is to contort your face,
 when  she  is  near,  to try and look
 like  someone  else.  Or embarris her
 in  front  of  her friends, by saying
 coments about her face, or body.
    Even  better,  say that you have a
 really  nasty  infection on you dick,
 and  you  court it off her, the say (
 infront   of  her  parents,  friends,
 class and priest ), that your doctor,
 says that this STD, comes from girls,
 who   regularly,   insert  TV  remote
 controls  and  her  driers into their
 snatches.
    Well, I hope that this has been an
 educational  journey  for all of you,
 and  I  am  glad  to  here that, your
 strap-ons are having a great time.  I
 hope  that  you  will  join me, ¢15JONNY
 FUCKBIGTITTEDBLONDESIA¢02,  for  another
 side  splitting  ( Shit, the guy that
 did  that, must have had a big dick!)
 show.   Until  then, may your dick go
 exploring in dark caves in the middle
 of hairy forests frequently.