0 basic 32 0 1 35000108 1 275 0 20 xfont 8 0 1 0 275 0 45 xfont 8 0 4 41013102 1 275 0 *!EOM 63 3229Y00F05basic32Y00C4Y00S1Y05S1NBRIT POP 2440Y00F06taurus24Y00C3Y00S2Y00C5Y05S4Y05C3NFish Boy 0824Y00F05xfont08Y00C1Y05S0N 0801NEvery year farmers all over Britain gather together Brit Pop records which 0801Nthey then crush into the most fertile manure known to man. Because folks, and 0801Nlets be honest, Brit Pop is absolutely dire. Why do you idiots keeping buying 0801Nit? Why? Why is it that some fued between two lamer bands ignites more 0801Ncontroversy than Trevor MacDonald on the news at Ten suddenly announcing that 0801NPresident Kennedy wasn't really murdered but in fact hired somebody to shoot 0801Nhim in a suicide pact with Kurt Cobain. Why? 0801N 0801NI took these freaks and placed them in the celestial court of "Fnarr". The 0801Nverdict was recorded. Go on, shudder, its the decent thing to do... 0801N 0801N 0825Y00F11microknight08Y00C3NFirstly: Lamer Band One: 0814Y00F05xfont08N 0806Y00C1NTake a leader singer with a voice like a cat being rubbed over a cheese 0801Ngrater. Add to Cat Boy his useless arse of a songwriting brother whoose 0801Ngreatest lyrical triumph consists of: "She's doing the dishes, she's got 0801Nlittle fishes on the brain" and get him to write 2000 identical songs which 0801Nall sound like they were recorded underwater. Add three more irrelevant 0801Nblokes and name the whole horrific 60's throwback mess after a puddle in a 0801Ndry spot. Finally garnish with a stupid and obviously false list of 0801Ninfluences ranging including the Beatles, The Kinks, and Billy Butchers 0801NMother Fucker Slay Crew (joke). 0801N 0811Y00C5Y44C4NPunishment for each member of Lamer Band 1: To have their heads pushed into 0801Nholes that are 2cm too small to comfortably fit an average persons head in. 0801NThen hit them, a lot, with sticks, and baseball bats, and things. 0801N 0801N 0825Y00F11microknight08Y00C3NLamer Band 2: 0819Y00F05xfont08Y00C1N 0801NThey swan around in their crinkly 1980's sports gear looking like a bunch of 0801Npissed middle aged fun runners while Damon Albarn shouts "PARKLIFE PARKLIFE, 0801NOOH THE DIRTY PIGEONS, YOU FAT BASTARD TAKE SOME EXERCISE, PARKLIFE 0801NPARKLIFE", like a hyper 4 year old on a caffeine overdose. And if that was'nt 0801Nenough they then fill all their albumns with supid little instrumentals which 0801Nare all "Typically British", (typically British providing your a shit faced 0801Ncockney with more money then the Queen). 0801N 0811Y00C5Y11C4NPunishment: Being forced to listen to American HardCore punk records played 0801Nat half speed so they sound like Metallica for hours and hours and hours. 0801NAlternatively, just play a Metallica album, that way if one of them breaks 0801Nloose they won't smash your precious new album by The Queers / Ten Foot Pole 0801N/ Econochrist / Jodies Foster Army / Billy Butchers Mother Fu... Sorry, I 0801Npromise never to use that joke again... 0801N 0801N 0825Y00F11microknight08Y00C3NLamer Band 3: A band so poor that although they don't ignite controversy they 0801Ntoo should face judgement. 0814Y00F05xfont08N 0806Y00C1NSleeper. The only excuse for their existance is the hysterically funny "Ugly 0801NBleeder" mix of "Inbetweener" by Mark Radcliff and the Boy Lard. Somebody 0801Nshould take both Sleeper albums and just remix the first 10 seconds of each 0801Nsong then release the results. That would probably be the greatest musical 0801Ntriumph of the century. Otherwise Sleeper are crap. 0801N 0811Y00C5Y11C4NPunishment: Just existing and being so bad. It must be a skill in itself to 0801Nopenly display such talent and then to fuck everything up with boring Indie 0801Nguitars ten seconds into every song. *!EOF