TITLE:REVIEWS ON SALE!(Abnormalia 4-5) PALETTE:0223 0558 0799 0a97 3REVIEWS ON SALE 2(Scenarium 4) Your most pervert dreams can turn into reality. Tell the truth, you've always dreamt to find your name somewhere in Scenarium, the mag for smiling teeth, the cradle of fame and despair. Here's your occasion. In a glimpse of geniality and generosity we have opened all at once thousands of doors for your feeble and cautious steps in the scene's underworld. 2We have decided to give you the opportunity of having your production REVIEWED! Impressive eh? Of course, in order to afford such a major project we need a little monetary contribution, but we know that this isn't a problem for a fame hungry guy like you, who could sell his sister for a name on the diskmag. Of course our reviews are very objective and serious, but if you want to have for your product a 2more objective and more serious1 review, it's enough to reconsider your economic support. The mechanism is quite easy, more you have the joy of donating us, more thought up is the review... We are men, you know, we can intend ourselves, it's useless to waste time on these obvious details. Back to us, for this issue we have reviewed and analyzed a discrete number of scene productions, our reviews are, as you can read, deep and professional, the economic support has just underlined the obvious prestige of the presented product. Leave a word, your production and the proper amount of cash to Marcio in order to figure in the Reviews of Scenarium, the only place where money are enough! 3NIGHTMASTERPIECE 2- Musicdisk by Parsec of Mystic. A masterpiece. The power of the music and the beauty of code (by 2Pitagora1) and graphics (by 2Parsec/Mystic1 himself) make of this production one of the two or three absolute musicdisks, nobody can dare to live without. The grandiose melody of the three incredibly long and mystical tunes reminds us another quite known Amiga musician: 2Jogeir Lilendhal1. Of course our Parsec has a more complete approach to musical melodies and rhythms. After an atmospheric and grandiose introduction you can enter in a fantastic world of notes and sounds. Parsec seems to have the same power of SEEING the music as other grand musicians of the past (2Syd Barrett1 could be a minor example). We can feel in the sounds the complete grasp of moods, tones and vibrations which only a real Master can obtain. The same music seems to accomplish to the noblest of the human activities: oblivion. Once you are caught by the melody (and this happens immediately) you seem to need it, forever. We could suggest that these notes symbolize and reproduce our primordial amniotic world, warm and comfortable. And exactly this seems to happen while listening to Parsec musics, we are hugged by the melody, feeling in it an universal Mother, which could lend us to infinite lands of dreams and fantasies. A cathartic experience that could bring you in a world unknown and unheard, the world of perfect melody, perfect sounds, perfect music. We have hardly seen another scene production which could bring you to such an accomplished and satisfied mood. There's no reason to miss such a Production, where electronic guitars (never so real on Amiga) dance with chords and strings in a paradisiac chase. 2Miss it and you'll miss the taste of divinity! 3OPUS MAG 2- Paper mag by Olive Scene is full of paper magazines, as all you know, so full that on many paper mags have started to appear "Are there too many papermags?" articles. Opus Mag anyway is by far the best. It's the result of the hard and competent work of 2Olive1, who really knows what the scene wants and feeds it as a good master. The mag layout is totally professional, bunch of paper like 2Time1 or 2Newsweek have just to learn from Olive in the design of a paper mag. They obviously have to learn also HOW to write articles, since here you can find the best selection of english and french articles of the whole paper mags scene. The use of french language, even in this international mag, is not annoying, you can read articles to learn finally this melodious language. Among the various sections we cannot forget the essential and wonderful "News and Rumours", "Actual Disk Mag" (Diskmags reviews), "Demoniac" (Demo reviews) and the various party reports, programming tips, painting tips and so on. It's all juicy fruit for the readers who can also be delighted by some wonderful digitized pictures of nude women, never enough. Yes, Opus Mag has everything and somehow it manages to it everything in 6 pages. A real miracle. Our best congratulations and greets to Olive, the real Man behind Opus Mag, 2the best Amiga fanzine around for sure. 3UPSTREAM 2- Diskmag by Balance Everybody knows Upstream and everybody knows that it's kicking hard right behind RAW in the top of the diskmags' charts. We have received congratulations and good marks in a review on Upstream and therefore we cannot stop ourselves from returning the favour... Upstream is an absolutely wonderful mag. Compared to it, 2RAW1 is rotten shit, 2Grapevine1 is shit and 2Scene Talks1 is almost good. We can't find words big enough to describe the absolute geniality of the editors, their originality in finding new interesting topics to talk about, their capability in grabbing the reader's mind and catching the hottest news. Their interviews are always interesting and enlightening, their news are always up to date and even the alternative news are not bad. RAW has decided to leave non scene articles for the mere fact that Upstream could handle them with much more professionality and skill. There's no match in our opinion, we can hardly understand why RAW still resist at the top of some charts... Upstream should outrun it easily, 2it's better in everything! 3RAW 2- Diskmag by Spaceballs This mag needs no presentations. It's the most known, most read, most supported and best diskmag on Amiga ever. We have lately seen some poor attempts of imitating the masters (bunch of bytes like 2Upstream1, for example) but none of them has reached even a minimal part of the quality and the professionality of Random Ansi Writings. RAW makes everything better, its interviews are more interesting, its news funnier (even if somehow similar to Scenarium's ones...), its scene articles complete and deep, almost as real scenology ones. We have tried to compare RAW with what seems to be the second leading mag, Upstream. The results have been discomforting for the Balance's mag. They lose in everything, RAW's main editor is by far more professional and skilled and the decision to leave scene articles has been the right choice for a real leading mag. All the non-scene crap texts are there just to fill space. Take Abnormalia, for example, it's made of a third of Scenarium and two thirds of fillers. As long as Scenarium will remain a sub-mag, RAW won't have any glimpse of competition, 2it's better in everything! 3SCENARIUM 2- Submag by Me, Rokdee and Map We have reviewed many mags, we have talked about their SO what articles, or Random Pearls or Spandimerding works, in many pages of this mag. There's anyway a mag which we couldn't quote, which we couldn't spandimerda or attack. It's called Scenarium and maybe you've never seen it. Well, try to grasp it as soon as possible, because it's very good! It's simply one of the funniest scene mags around. It's so brilliant and, top of that, it's damn well written too. When it comes to sarcasm and aggressive writing, 2RAW1 is totally outrunned here. I like this mag a lot, it made me load it again and again. This mag has at disposal some of the best editors on the scene. I've never seen any stranger scene-related articles in any other mag! Maybe I can simply call Scenarium, as the most innovative place where one can look at the scene from an unusual and different point of view! It's great! Cool! Very cool! Nice! Congratulations! Very good! Simply excellent! I like it! This is all for this issue. As you have surely seen, our reviews are complete and deep and they surely give a great publicity for their products. Don't miss your occasion, then, The Reviews On Sale are awaiting you, give colors to your life, fill it of tasty and fresh glory. 3REVIEWS ON SALE 2 (Scenarium 5) After the incredible insuccess of the first edition of REVIEWS ON SALE nobody has tried to corrupt me for a bribed review. There could be two reasons for such a surprising reaction. The first one is that everybody thinks that I write bribed reviews even without receiving any monetary contribution, as if Scenarium were a humanitary organization. The second one is that the possible clients may think that our reviews are not trustworthy and that the same readers may understand that they are heavily influenced by factors not exactly related to the quality of the reviewed production. This second hypothesis implies that our readers are intelligent and that they understand what I write (and don't understand too). Interesting theory that should deserve deeper studies. The first reason is totally silly, since the money earned with these REVIEWS ON SALE, with the official sponsor and all the advertisments allow me to afford all the expenses for official spreaders and co-editors and contributors (they even earn money for their lousy articles!). Not to mention all the organization of the Scenology Faculty, with the expensive dinners, conferences and meetings I have to afford every month. In other words, if you stop to support REVIEW ON SALE Scenarium is not happy. Before beginning with the new load of hot reviews let me remind you the basic rules behind this section. 1- You send me your production; 2- You send me a weighty amount of cash to convince me to write a review; 3- I write a review. More you give me, the better the review is. If you just send your production here without money, you'll end up like the guys from 2Complex1 and their Real. I find their behaviour scandalous, I wonder how could they really think that I could consider their demo good just looking at its quality. Nowadays the most important qualities are in the wallet. 3SOUND issue 1 by SPOON To consider this production a musicdisk is an insult for all the diskmags around, to consider it a diskmag, it's an insult for all the musicdisks. I don't know what this means but I can say without doubts that 2SOUND is the most 2original, revolutionary and abnormal scene production even conceived in scene 2history1. It's not surprising that the astounding idea comes from a woman, 2Christine De La Queen1, whose creativity and generousity is absolute. SOUND is a sort of periodic music disk, which gathers the best modules from all the best scene musicians and is published on a regular scale. SOUND is the ultimate musical experience, where you can taste the melody and the poetry of different music styles, where you can read the brilliant and luminous texts of Christine, where you can discover that 2God exists and lives in your computer1. Sure, without any fear to be contradicted I can assure you that SOUND is one of the few human productions that can kill every doubt amout the existence of something divine in our world. SOUND is that. Divine. The ultimate religious experience, the final discovery, the answer to all your trickiest questions, the justification of everybody's life. 2Don't miss it, you will miss the smell of divinity. 3REAL by COMPLEX So this demo won at the Saturne party II. Well, I wonder why. Maybe its authors have bribed all the voters at the competition. Except us. This demo is a complete failure. Of the few effects shown I have not found anything new or interesting. The usual vectors, some slow attempt of surface mapping, the boring tunnel that leads to a final blank screen (I wonder why we are so stupid to follow always these endless tunnels without any surprise at their end) and the typical sequence of transitions without any effect between them! Where is the demo here??? The music seems made with a broken 2VIC 201, the graphics remind me a 2ZX 801, the code was probably made with 2BLITZ basic1 and the design is near to2 BloodyFucker1 quality! The authors even boast that all this is a file demo and not a trackmo! Sure, probably they weren't able to code a trackload routine. I suggest to all the readers to find this demo, you will have something to laugh about. Don't lose it, 2it's the complex bad joke of a bunch of complexed dudes1. 3THE CHARTS by RAMJAM The Charts are an institution. I have preferred to review them as a whole, instead of considering a single issue. 2The Charts of RamJam are a revolutionary and interesting kind of scene 2production.1 They publish the charts about the best coders, groups, demos, etc in the scene, counting the votes from a moltitude of sceners! I suppose that this is more that enough to raise your interest and your will to read at least one issue of these Charts. In any case the RamJam dudes were not satisfied by the mere charts and have decided to make a real magazine with a lot of hot articles. You can read various interesting sections in each issue of this Chart-Mag: from the 2 reviews1 of the best productions of the month to the useful 2monthly diary1, from the exciting 2amarcord1 to the interesting 2letters to the editors1, from the thrilling 2short stories1 to the sage 2monthly thoughts1. I just have a pair of bad critics to move to this elsewhere perfect production. 2The Pippero of the month1 is a silly and evil section that should be morally refused by all the good readers out there and the 2Spandimerda column1 is just a bad imitation of our original Spandimerda Awards, where shit is really shit and not chocolate cream. I hope that the authors of RamJam will forgive me for these two bad remarks, but after all they haven't given me that great amount of money. I am always open, anyway, to more generous donations that could help me in the difficult task of judging these scene works with more attention. 3NEVER LIKED UNO by LEGO Despite the fact that slideshows are surely the most common kind of scene production, we have not seen many quality works lately. In the overwhelming quantity of slides and relative scrolls, though, we have found a real pearl which can't pass unnoticed. NEVER LIKED UNO contains various pictures from 2Fade 2One1, the well-known Lego artist. He has proably worked in the past with Lonestarr but this doesn't appear in this new set of masterpieces he has had the grace to show us. Fade One pictures are pure art. To the perfect and clean technique he has added a wonderful artistic sensibility, providing images of absolute value. Besides the fact that the spandimerda friends would not be happy to discover that the "UNO" of the promising spandimerda title is not the famous Amiga graphician, 2everything in this production shows style and perfection1. If you don't know what slideshow to buy from your local shop, do not hesitate, 2Never liked uno1 is the best choice. Trust me, I know what I say, I say what I know, I am always careful when I suggest to the beloved readers how to spend their money. I also wonder why our Fade One has not reached yet the top of every chart, he surely deserves that, 2his pictures should be exposed at the Louvre1, at least. 3THE OFFICIAL EUROCHARTS issue 25 by STATIC BYTES Despite all the attempts of imitation, despite the huge number of scene charts around, despite the critics and the envy, despite their generousity to buy this review, we cannot not swear that 2Static Bytes' Eurocharts are the most important 2scene production of the moment. Without their indications on who to vote, the whole scene would be like a flock without guide, helpless and confused. The Eurocharts have always been the best tool to consult when a scener had to vote for the Eurocharts. With the jubilee issue, the 25th, Static Bytes have wanted to break every limit. They have made a total masterpiece and they have made it AGA. For the first time an important scene regular production is AGA only. That means a terrible increase of AGA syndrome cases and lotsa colors. That is. 2This issue is the most revolutionary Eurochart issue ever1. The graphics are totally redrawn in the splendour of their AGA dress, the mag part is pointless as usual but, for the first time on the scene surface, the 2EuroStatistics1 come in! That is the biggest improvement of the Eurocharts 25, even more incident and exciting than the AGA look. 2The Eurostatistics are the dream of every chart 2consumer1, to follow his own carreer in the charts is surely the best thing a scener can do. Those graphs are simply 2erotic1. They induce ecstatic orgasm in the reader, the presence of photos and of other informations about the chart's entries is like a cigarette after eiaculation. Perfect. 2The Eurocharts 25 is surely the most outrageous and erogenous production ever1, it stimulates every part of your body and of your mind, is virtual reality made true, dream made reality, software made woman. 2You can stop to look for a girlfriend, the Eurocharts supply you of everything.