TITLE:ENCICLOPEDIA SWAPPARIA (Abnormalia 4) PALETTE:0223 067a 0799 0aa7 3 ENCICLOPEDIA SWAPPARIA You surely have heard of the famous and prestigious "Enciclopedia Swapparia", which, in its 21 volumes and 13762 voices, describes accurately every kind of item that can be sent in the parcel of a professional swapper. For obvious reasons and for copyrights problems we couldn't include the whole Enciclopedia in Scenarium so we have decided to make a severe sum up of the whole opera and present you with it. We have had to select just few of the various voices and of them we've written just the most important informations. Sure of your appreciation we inform you that you should find the original "Enciclopedia Swapparia" in the beauty of its 21 volumes at Dr. Awesome's address. He sells everything, we don't see why he shouldn't sell also it. Here's then what you can usually find in professional swap parcels. 3BEER CANS1: A very common item. Generally the Beer cans swapping doesn't last much, as both the swappers soon get bored of spending a remarkable amount of money just for the idea of being cool. This is, in fact, one of the typical items which nobody usually find interesting but which is sent the same because considered "cool". Another bright example of such Cool&Useless items for a swapper are 2condoms1 (See) 3BISCUITS1: Less common that 2candies1 (See) and less appreciated. An opinion roundup among professional swappers has revealed that 78% of them prefers candies to biscuits. "Less weight, less volume, more taste and sometimes cheaper!", it's the usual answer. 3BOOKS1: Extremely rare object. Sometimes they are even written in a language that the receiver doesn't understand. Sometimes they are holed and used to bring hidden tools inside them. Explanations for such a curious custom is the lower postal price of book sendings. 3CANDIES1: Very popular item. Often they offer good excuses to quarrel about who has the worst tastes, since from the candies of a country you can imagine what its citizens are used to eat. The most dangerous ones are salted liquorice drops. A titbit for scandinavian people and a nightmare for the rest of the world. 3CASSETTES1: Quite common item usually containing a kind of music that the receiver hates. They seldom have their legitimate plastic cover and the typical excuse of the sender concerns always the postal weight. In 80% of the cases that's false. 3CHAIN LETTERS1: A curse. After the first experiences where he is promised 129873 disk just by sending around 8 disks continuing the chain, the swapper soon realizes that something goes wrong with the chain. The problems come when he starts to receive dozens of them. Patient swappers send them somewhere else, the majority burst them without mercy. 3COINS1: They are never in usable quantities but they aren't usually disliked. Cases of banknotes sendings are rare, cases of credit cards sendings are not registered. 3CONDOMS1: A very trendy item, usually delivered not used even if we have known cases of used condoms inserted in plastic bags or just free among the other stuff. Somebody suspects that many swappers buy condoms just to include them in letters, but that may be a vicious rumour. 3DISKETTES1: They are of all the colors of the visual spectrum and, characteristic unique of the scene, the more they are dirty the cooler they are. From the writings on a diskette you can build the history of its voyages as every decent swapper uses to leave his name on whatever passes under his hands. The most audacious ones even write their own address with the hope of being contacted, some have left wonderful graffiti on what has remained of the diskette's plastic. Usually brand new diskettes are seen with suspicion and just when they can boast at least three labels stuck one on the other, they start to be considered "full accomplished disks". It's impossible to understand what a diskette contains from the writings it has all over its surface. A generally accepted rule, in fact, says that the most visible title on the diskette never belongs to the actual content. Recent studies have proved than white floppy disks are generally the ones more signed, probably for the swapper's natural will to make dirty what is clean. 35 1/4 FLOPPY DISKS1: Strangely enough they are not so rare, in spite of their total uselessness. In most cases they are C64 old floppies who are not used anymore, swapping with Amiga 5 1/4 floppy disks is very rare and considered quite elite, even if it's totally useless. There are various known cases of sendings of PC floppies horrendously mutilated. 3GUITAR STRINGS1: Rare and highly welcomed item, which may happen to result completely useless if the receiver hasn't any guitar. Typical example of exciting present which gives great pleasure at a first moment and disquieting interrogations after few basic meditations. Next time a guitar, Pasi! ;-) 3KOSSU MINI BOTTLES1: It's a speciality of finnish swappers and it's one of the reasons why they are extremely respected in the swapping community. Whoever receives a mini bottle of Koskenkorva vodka offers eternal gratitude to his benefactor. It's not documented any case of contact drop after a Kossu sending as are totally unimaginable cases of bottles broken in the postal trip. They are always wrapped up and protected with exaggerate care. 3LETTERS1: That's a curious item sometimes found in swap parcels. If you are careful you can see somewhere a piece of paper of unknown nature with few lines scribbled in an uncertain language. The paper may have various origins, among the most interesting cases the most obvious one is used toilet paper, strangely a media not so rare in certain parcels (the so called Fuck-packs). The length of the actual letter is opinable but it seldom breaks the limit of 36 words. The cases of longer letters can't enter in the Enciclopedia, as they don't matter with professional swapping. 3PAPER MAGS1: They are usually welcomed even if after a first glance the receiver realizes that he already knew all the things written in the fanzine. Often recycled but seldom photocopied and widely spread. 3PARTY INFO SHEETS1: In the 89% of the cases they are useless as the talented swapper has already seen the relative inftro weeks before. Easily recycleable even if dangerous. Cases of contact drop for the sending of an old info sheet are widely documented. 3PHOTOS1: Always interesting and appreciated. They range from landscapes photos, of little use, to girlfriend's photos somehow always wonderful, to own photos. These last ones are the most interesting as they often reveal to the receiver the face of his contact. In most of the cases the face is worst than expected and this creates a light disappointment soon returned with the sending of the own photo. 3PINS AND BUDGETS1: Most of the time they come from other swappers and not rare are cases of dudes who receive, after tortuous trips, their own budgets. They are considered items of discrete value, you can swap one for 2candies1 or even 2biscuits1 (See). 3SISTERS1: According to some voices they should be one of the most common item in a good swap letters. After accurate researches it has been discovered just ONE (1) proved case of sister swapping. The parcel was 170*50*50 cm, it weighted 57 kilos and it included the real 17 years old sister of a fame-hungry swapper. According to some rumours, though, the receiver wasn't satisfied by the sending. "Old stuff" was his supposed comment. 3STICKERS1: Always welcomed and seldom used. Only the best ones are not recycled in other sendings and this heavily affects the quality of the circulating stickers. "Intel Outside" stickers are usually the most welcomed. 3VHS TAPES1: A florid market of illegal VHS tapes accompanies not seldom the usual diskettes. The dynamics is more or less the same even if recent studies have find out that the swapper paints with less enthusiasm a VHS tape than a floppy disk. 3VOTING SHEETS1: A nightmare. Usually they are never filled and sometimes who receive some just send them to somebody else. It has been calculated that less than the 2% of all the voting sheets are actually sent to the relative chart editors while a still low 6% are sent back to the sender.