TITLE:THE SO-WHAT? ARTICLES (Abnormalia 3-4-5) PALETTE:0223 067a 0799 0ab7 3THE SO-WHAT? ARTICLES 3----------------------------------- 2ISSUE 33 ----------------------------------- Scene diskmags are sometimes quite a funny and entertaining reading, they often contain such interesting and informative articles that at their end you wonder: 2"So what?"1. Probably many diskmags editors keep on publishing this kind of scene articles because they are quite ridiculous and funny, being incredibly unoriginal and pointless (Oh, don't think such pervert things, they don't publish them to fill space!) We have called them the "So what?" articles, they are so obvious, senseless and useless that we couldn't prevent our evil fingers from underlining their presence. Here comes a commented list of some so-what? articles appeared on some more or less good and recent mags. 3UPSTREAM issue 6 by Balance 2Fake Functions by Wolfman/Balance (Main-Ed) A really impressive article where the author complains about the use of "fake functions" in groups, like Ansi-gfxer, Packs maker and things like that. He thinks that scene guys shouldn't use these fake funtions in memberlists. We presume that a deep and complete conference has to be held about this important topic for the scene. 3TOP SECRET issue 14 by Majic 12 2How many members should a group have? by Hex/STACK-Prod. In 878 bytes the author analyse and solve one of the biggest problems of contemporary life: How many members a group should have? How many graphicians and coders and others? His answers are firm and encouraging. We can all breath relieved now. 2Is it a shame to be reborn? by TFG/Majic 12 (Main-Ed) Less than 1300 bytes to understand why the concept of "Reborn group" seems not much liked by scene groups. The author explains that groups tend to use the words "Reorganized" or "Regrouped" instead of a more appropriate "Reborn". The brilliant answer is that maybe is all due to the Kefrens rebirth. Impressive. 2Introes - Too many by DarkHawk/MLM A deep meditation about how many intros are useless and boring. The author suggests that intros should be made just for cracks or for intro compos. 2000 bytes long! 3VISUAL INTENSITY issue 1 by Dual Format 2Parties by Nab of Fine The writer, after having told that he has never been in any party, suggests to hire a really big place like the National Indoor Arena in Birmingham to organize an english party better and bigger than some other scandinavian parties. He understands anyway, that the costs could be quite high, what he hasn't understood is that if you have a big party place you don't necessarily have a party with many people. 2About Dual Format - Join Cadaver - BOB information and releases. Grapevine has came first, then the bad fashion continued. The mania of About- articles is taking place also in Visual Intensity. Bad luck. 2Trainers, do we need them? by The Cookie Monster by Dual Format (co-ed) An article which would be useful for a Scene's Big Questions dossier about the mindblasting debate regarding Trainers. The author declares officially that he supports the Party of the Trainers users and adds a plethora of reasons and explanations. Thank you, now we know that we need trainers. We found a little pearl in this very interesting article, The Cookie Monster writes: "Training in an art form...". Original. 3----------------------------------- 2ISSUE 43 ----------------------------------- If you are not new to Scenarium, you already should know what are the 2SO WHAT? articles. Real pearls that contains so deep meditations and concerns that at the end you wonder: "So what?". To find them it's not too difficult, they are everywhere, hidden also in the pages of the best mags. Look out for them, then, and enjoy all those So-What articles, because at the end you never know if the author was serious or if he was just pulling your legs. 2European Top 20 by Equinox issue 7 3OWN LANGUAGE 1by Jackpot of Equinox (the main-ed) Jackpot introduces a brand new Big Question for the scene. Are acceptable articles or demos in own languages different from english? In almost 1300 bytes he examines the various cases and comes to the conclusion that it depends. The article finishes with: "Well, hope you enjoyed...". An ironic final pearl, for a typical five minutes - 1500 bytes - filling space article. 2Eternal by Miracle issue 2 3BORING HANDLES 1by Prime/Circle (Razor1911) "I decided to write this article because of all the boring handles in the scene". This is the promising beginning of a deep article about how some handles lack of fantasy. The author seems to lead a crusade especially to three letters shortenings which are not easy to remember. At the end of the long article (about 1700 bytes) he even gives some good suggestions in your hard quest for a new handle. 2Sledgehammer by Absolute! issue 12E 3GREETINGSLIST=ASSKISSING?1 by Jean/Absolute! All our doubts about the mystery of famous groups in newcomers' greetings lists are also Jean's doubts and he has managed to write finally the article that no one had dared to write. He explains that there could be two reasons why a famous group is in the greets of a new group. 1- To seem more important. 2- To asskiss famous groups. Had you ever imagined that? 2Upstream by Balance issue 7 3MELON, LEMON. A PLAGUE!1 by Cristine de La Queen/Disaster All our hopes to see from Cristine De La Queen/Disaster articles more interesting that the males' standard ones are collapsed reading, on Upstream 7, Melon, Lemon. A plague!. Here you can discover how the authoress find immoral the fashion of cloning Melon Dezign's name. She suggests that in the real world Melon would have sued Lemon. for their name. Very interesting (and even false). 2The Jungle by Damian issue 5 3OBJECTIVITY is NONE!1 by Twingo/Fantasy The author introduces a new very interesting Big Question for the scene's debates. Is it fair the voting system based on percentages in the reviews of scene productions? The author explains wittily that the reviewer can't make a real difference among an 88%, or 87%, 89% and so on. After all he doesn't "squeeze every product through many individual tests like professional game magazines"! (As if they did...). He introduces also keen concerns about the the meaning of such percentages and the particular case of a 100% mark. Stuff for Scenology. 2The Jungle by Damian issue 5 3LAXITY - THE SHAME ON YOU! 1by Vodka/TSB The author thinks to have found an hot scoop and he reveals it to everybody. He has listened in a LP by Ace of Base some samples that he had also heard in Laxity's music for Desert Dream. What a terrific news! Has Laxity ripper Ace of Base's samples? Has Ace of Base (who could have an Amiga) ripped Laxity's samples? Have both of them ripped the samples to somebody else? These are the disquieting interrogations that the author proposes and which remain unsolved. Is it possible for the scene to bear that Laxity has ripped samples from an album??? After all, we know that, some good samples are OBVIOUSLY enough to make a good module. 2Visual Intensity by Dual Format issue 2 3NO TRAINERS! 1by Trashead of Samba/Suspect In the last issue of Scenarium an article pro-trainers had the pleasure of being host in the SO-WHAT section. Now that article, published on the same mag, finds a reply where the author arguments wittily why he doesn't want trainers in games. Without entering in particular we just notice that the topic is hot because... 2Visual Intensity by Dual Format issue 2 3REPLY TO NO TRAINERS!1 by The Cookie Monster of Dual Format (Main ed) The main editor of this mag and writer of the original pro-trainers article replies to the Trashead's reply. A real wonderful SO-WHAT? debate which The Cookie Monster faces with seriousness and attention. He is glad of the replies of his interlocutor and he accepts some of his points, showing rare sense of democracy and tolerance. He finishes the article with: "Thanks to Trashead for a great reply article and I only hope more and more people will join the debate and possibly Trashead could give another article of his views". In other words The Cookie Monster wants to get deeper into the delicate matter about trainers. A SO WHAT? paradise. 2RAW by Spaceballs issue 6 3WHY JOKEGROUPS?1 by Dalmak of Stellar The author has found a brand new Big Question for the scene and therefore he writes his good article about it. What's the point of jokegroups? Why does a scener release a fun intro under the label of his jokegroup and not of his official group? The writer meditates deeply about the matter and comes to the conclusion that he would never do, or write or say anything with any other name than his own. Really interesting. A joke? 2RAW by Spaceballs issue 6 3FUCK THE ANTI NAZI DEMOS - A "SO WHAT?" ESSAY1 by Rokdazone of Infect This is the first article that claims to be a SO-What? piece without the previous permission and official acknowledgment of 2The SO-What? Council1 and this has raised more than one debate at its internal. Can a writer pretend to declare his own article a So-What? one? How will the Council act in similar cases? Is this really a So-What? article? This last question has provoked savage discussions still unsolved. Yes, under some points of views this IS a SO-What article, as it raises glimpses of the crucial question at the end of the reading. Still it hasn't a proper SO-What? logic, it hasn't SO-What? statements and argumentations. It other words it's not a full accomplished SO-What? article. Sorry Rokdazone (have we already met somewhere?), your article wasn't enough pointless, try again. 3-----------------------------------2 ISSUE 53 ----------------------------------- 242 issue 2 The only example of So-What? article, which is also a good Golden Pearl, is 2"Access, really a coder?"1 by 2 Rotox/Abnormal1. Sadly the same editors have published the article in order to spandimerda it a bit, as to give an example of a typical childish article which 42 doesn't publish (except this time with pedagogic intents). After a democratic discussion with all my idiot alter egos (The Spandimerda Committee director, The Scenology Academy spokesman, The So-What? Articles Council secretary, the Main Ed of Abnormalia, the Main Ed of Scenarium and the A.F. whose presence in my life is so etereal) I have decided not to consider this article a So-What? piece. The reason is basically that it was published knowing that it was a So-What? article and therefore it cannot have that basic glimpse of ingenuity typical of a similar production. A So-What? badge anyway has to be offered to Rotox/Abnormal, the young spandimerded author, who surely was serious when he wrote his piece. 2Compass issue 1 We have to say that when Mop makes a So-What? article he does it with professionality. Mop knows this and he knew that he was filling his mag with a colossal So-What? piece when he conceived 2"Spy or driver?"1, the ultimate journalistic report on The Spy's driving abilities. Usually So-What? articles are 1500 bytes long and ultimately expected, ROM instead has the power of making a So-What? article of a new kind. It is a complete journalistic report, with accurate review of the published literature on the case, exclusive revelations collected by a special reporter and nothing less than a remarkable scene opinion pool especially organized for the case. Everything about The Spy and the mysterious world of cars. Heaven on Earth, So-What? entusiasts can stop to dream, Mop has feeded them, well aware of what he was doing (Demagogic or what?). 2Oepir Risti 2 To find So What? articles in a mag with 9 scene articles, of which 4 are about Electron's Nazi affairs and 2 about Citron.'s new pack serie could be difficult for everybody, still we managed to find an interesting semi-So What? article by 2Oxbow/Legion1 called 2"Poetic Module Names"1. It is the logic and rational meditation about the importance of poetic and original names for Amiga modules. The author underlines with originality that the name could be an important touch, because it can catch some attention, but of course the music itself is more important. Deep eh? 2Sledge Hammer 13 There is nothing more irritating for the So-What? jury than a writer who begins his piece stating that he is writing a So-What? article. Are we mad? Why don't we respect our roles? Articles writers do write their articles and leave to the official jury the decision to consider them So-What? pieces! 2Fester1, main editor of Sledge Hammer, begins his article 2"The scene stock 2market"1 with this sentence: 2"Another So What? article by Fester dedicated to 2Abnormalia! Now Marcio, you can fill Scenarium with an article about why we 2fill SH with comments on why you fill Scenarium with an article about why we 2fill... Another 7 lines filled". Despite the light spandimerding tone, which is always welcomed, I wonder who the hell gave Fester the right to say that his article was a So-What? one. The same article indeed proposes a new, interesting and funny idea that should be developed massively, since it may offer many occasions of entertainment. In other words, one of the most original idea ever appearead in Sledgehammer is presented as a So-What? one. Are we joking? That's the evidence that it's necessary a well trained jury to judge So-What? articles, it's not a game that can be handled by everybody. Please, Fester, write real So-What? articles like in the good old times and don't try to wonder if they are fillers, so-what? or spandimerda. That's a job for me and it's also the only scene thing I am able to do. If you want also a good tip, Fester, pay a visit to a doctor, just for a general check, I fear that your Fillophobia could degenerate into a real illness. Trust me, I know this disease quite well, it makes you wonder always if you are writing or just filling. Terrible.