TITLE:THE ALTERNATIVE NEWS (Abnormalia 1-2-3-4-5) PALETTE:0223 067a 0799 09a7 3-----------------------------------2 ISSUE 13 ----------------------------------- 3THE NEWS YOU HAVE ALWAYS DREAMT TO READ AND NOBODY HAS EVER DARED TO PUBLISH! 2There can't be a diskmag around without its brave news section. We are 2conscious of that and for this reason we have managed to collect the hottest 2news just FOR YOU! Not all the news were completely checked, there can be minor 2mistakes, take it easy. 3Alcatraz 1 are planning the second part of Odyssey, it will be on CDROM and will contain hundreds of different scenes, 50 music tracks and an impressive real time ray tracing routine. Here is the plot: Someone has stealt Duke Starclimber's starship, he, quite disappointed, checks in 142 planets for the nasty stealer. The final of the story is top secret but rumours around whisper that at the end he wins! The demo should last about 10 hours. 3Hardwired II1 is angry. He wants to win the Democompo this time, the fact that he boasts a real-time-world-creation routine can help. The Demo has created his own judging team. 3Crystal Symphonies III1 is going to be released soon! It will have two songs and seventy-seven scrolls. We have discovered why the 3Coma1 guys had all joined 3Alcatraz1. 2Mad Butcher1 was tired to see only articles of Coma members in Mc-disk. 2Wild Rage1, the boss of 3Grace1 is planning a magazine trust in the scene! After 3Scene Lyrics1 and Suicid (don't believe 2Zinkfloid/Energy1 fake main editor of Suicid, the boss is always the Wild one!) he is the real Lord of the Puppets behind Abnormalia. Governments start to fear him, rumours say that CIA is planning even an attempt on his amiga. Nobody has told them that after all nobody reads Scene Lyrics. The truth behind 3Hardwired1! All the code, the graphics and, obviously the music have been made by 2Jesper Kyd1, all the other names in the credits are fake! More than one thinks that he made also 3Odyssey1 and3 Voyage1, others suggest that actually EVERY demo made in the amiga scene since 1988 has been COMPLETELY made by Jesper Kyd! A guy from Demnark assures that Jesper Kyd doesn't exist. The scene is now mature, it's like the second part of a day. 3Mental Hangover has been forgotten, the next demo from 2 Scoopex Finland1 will be "Tea and biscuits". Mr Computer has left2 Cool Galactic Crew1 to join 2The Supreme Gods1, rumours say that the Cool Galactic Crew is dead, but we don't dare even to think such a thing. 2LSD1 have decided to release Grapevine every 15 days. Each issue will be on 3 disks and graphics and musics have been reduced to leave more space for articles. The "Time" is deeply worried to lose readers. Incredible preview of the News of the next issue. We look into future for you! Due to lack of interest from the readers and being ignored by all the other mags, Abnormalia 2 won't be released, you are watching a ghost diskmag. 3Grace Italy1 is made of three members: Virus, Rod and Macno. 3Grace Italy1 is made of two members: Virus and Macno. Rod has left the scene two seconds ago. Demnark has won the european championships. Ten millions of italians watched the final at television. Nobody told them that Italy was kicked out from the cup months before. 3Zero Defects1 are not dead. They are just sleeping. 2Franz/IBB1 cheated them with valium stamps. 3Grace Italy1 has three members. 2 Rod1 has decided to re join. He was joking. Some of these news can be outdated. But we're used to them, aren't we? 3Spaceballs1 are planning Wayfarer II. You are still in time to buy an advertisment space in their demo. "Cheap prices" assures a spokesman from the group. The Party II in Aars has been cancelled. 2Trix/Anarchy 1has declared to our reporters "We had to do it! Even better than the Beach party!" The new code for 3R.A.W. 1 by 2Perplex1 is made in Amos. Perplex has declared that "with only 5 months to complete it I couldn't make more". The next demo of 2 Slammer/Anarchy1 will be called "In the bedroom". The ECC (European Censoring Club) is already worried. 3Grace Italy1 has 1 member and 1 organizator. Rod and Macno have left. They weren't joking. 2Pitagora1 has decided: "I am not God, it's Him that is Me". 2Delta1 is back in the scene! He had forgotten the stirrup-cup. The scene is getting stylish! After the Melon Design style, the Silents style, the Mantronix and Tip style, the Ram Jam style and the R.A.W. style even 2Skandal1 have discovered to have style :-O. PC Rules! ST reigns! Amiga works. 3----------------------------------- 2ISSUE 23 ----------------------------------- 3 THE PARTY II VERY REAL NEWS THAT NOBODY IN THE WORLD WILL EVER GIVE YOU! but also: 3WHATEVER YOU THOUGHT IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE AND HAPPENED THE SAME in other words: 2BELIEVE AT YOUR PERIL The dancing shape in 3 Spaceballs'1 State of the Art is not a girl. Lame mags around have reported that she was a 15 years old school mate of some Spaceballs members. BULLSHITS! What you see dancing on the screen is Lone starr himself. He just watched himself dancing in front of a mirror and immediately translated his movements into vectors data, the rest is history. Read 2Lonestarr1's Very True Interview in This Very Same Issue for more details about the fact. 3Pure Metal Coders1's Alpha and Omega II is a fake. Of the three disks it claims to run on, only one is used for the demo itself, the others are blank disks used just to impress the audience. The infamous idea, of course, is of Lord Helmet who had even proposed to make a seven disks demo, just to beat Alcatraz's Odyssey. After the return of3 4-mat1 on the scene the community of the editors of the main diskmags have gathered to decide what to do with him. "We have to support him in his return", said 2Amphetamine1. "We have to celebrate him for the glorious come back!", said 2Judge Drokk1. "We have to destroy his image again!", said 2Mad Butcher1. "We have to review his musics", said2 Filippetto1. "We have to ignore him", said 2Pazza1. "We have to support and celebrate him, to review his modules, to destroy again his image and then ignore him.", smiled innocently2 Lord Helmet1. The 3 Shining 1 40k intro which won the 2nd prize is a clamorous fake! The ray-traced animation at the beginning is not a well packed and framed anim!!!! It's a mere real time calculated one. The Great Secret of the Existence, of Universe and the solution of the 2Paradox 2of the Seven Fat Sisters1 is no more a secret!!! The Ultimate Answer, the Final Response, the Fucking Important Word, is written in the hidden part of the hidden demo of the hidden and only group of Tanzania. Just find it and possess the Things. 2The Paradox of the Seven Fat Sisters. In the Bateman family there are seven sisters: Anna, Ann, Annette, Hanna, Hana, Annah, Caroline. They are all fat, very fat, every one of them is fatter than all the other sisters. Who is the fattest? When asked about his financial income thanks to the party, 3Trix1 answered "Money? I dunno what you are talking about". He was noticed the day after driving a Ferrari at Montecarlo. 3Hannibal/Anarchy1 3d demo II doesn't exist. If you have seen it, you were doped; if you have read about it, you were blind; if you have heard of it, you were fooled; if you are sure to have it in your disks and you can load and see it at your will, whenever you want and whatever the weather, you live in another dimension so don't blame us for that. If you are Hannibal, send me your demo cos I haven't it. This mag is made for fame and money. Not everything in it is true. 2Zine1 is back in the scene and it's kicking hard! The whole first issue of the new Zine (featuring 8 channels music, 24 bit simulated B/W graphics and a revolutionary "Write your Zine by yourself" Text Editor implemented) will be dedicated to the WAR with RAW. All the readers are invited to write their opinion about the dirthiest and roughest mag of the scene. The most insulting texts will be published for a serene, mature, detached consideration on the whole affair. Strange rumours are crossing the scene. Sinister voices about some Old Masters of the Puppets who control the scene are heard around. Wars, parties compos cheats, fake charts, diffusion of illegal software and many other dirty aspects of this dirty world are supposed to be in the filthy hands of few dangerous, tremendous, very bad, quite evil, Old Masters of the puppets. Did you know that you have a future in a puppet theatre? After the 3 Kyd-Balle1 concert at the party II many people have finally realized that once you have heard Hardwired's music, you have heard all the musics of Jesper Kyd. After the joke of the 3Patsy1 existence, the scene, desperate, sad, fooled and left without a woman has tried to find another girl to fulfil its wildest and most pervert dreams. Many have already fallen in love with the dancing girl of State of the Art. Who dares to tell them that she is2 Lone Starr1? 3----------------------------------- 2ISSUE 3 3----------------------------------- 3 THE ULTIMATE AND FIRST ALTERNATIVE NEWS in other words 3 WHATEVER YOU HAVE ALWAYS SUSPECTED ABOUT THE SCENE WHICH NOBODY HAS DARED TO 3 TELL YOU! 2Funnily enough lately "Fun News" or "Alternative News" have started to appear 2in some diskmags, like mushrooms are going to appear in Kris/Eternal keyboard. 2Well, we made them first and if you think that RAW made them before us you were 2wrong, for the simple fact that WE wrote them for RAW. 2But this, as usual, could be seen like a joke, as all the other jokes that feed 2Scenarium... 2Ever wondered where stops finction and starts reality in this mag? 2Start to do it now, because there's more truth in these pages than in the Bible. 2Just read these news, for a powerful evidence. The 11th of August 1993 3Rapper of ISCH crew1 has had his 18th birthday! Contrary to popular belief 3Melon Dezign1's average age is not 12. Proof: Slammer attends university. Funnily enough Slammer has recently left the group. It's the second year that the Assembly demo compo is won by an unknown group. For the next edition 3Nightfall1 could have good hopes. Ignoring thousands of articles stating that there are too many diskmags in the scene 3Stone Arts1 and 3Dual 4mat1 have decided to make each a new diskmag. The results are two poorer clones of RAW and Grapevine. A Scene Analyst has commented that this is not such a bad thing, he has said at our microphones:2 "Thanks God they weren't an Eternal's bad clone" How to make an award winning demo without fatigue. - Take a camera and follow from behind a guy who walks around without task. - Digitilize the nice walk. - Crunch a bit the pictures and add a pair of graphical effects. - Compose a suitable music. - Assemble it all. For more informations dial3 2421 and ask for 2Virtual Dreams1. After the success of Interference, 3Chaos/Sanity1 has kicked out from the group Microforce, coder of the demo. Interrogated by the press, the chaotic minded One has declared: "I don't want Sanity's demos to have good DESIGN!". 3Daryl1 joined Tarkus Team. Daryl joined Eremation. Daryl was kicked out of Tarkus Team. Daryl rejoined Eremation to be more sure. Daryl was kicked out of Eremation. Daryl decided to join Melon Dezign. Melon Dezign didn't agree. Daryl joined Anarchy. Anarchy died. Daryl founded a new group called Beppe. Daryl kicked himself out of Beppe. Daryl is currently looking for a group to be kicked out of. Maybe Daryl doesn't exist. Zine is dead... Grapevine is fat... Hack Mag is dust... Stolen Data is injured... MC disk is sleeping... ICE is lost... People begin to understand why 3RAW1 tops the charts. Interrogated by a martian reporter in mission on Earth, 3Wolfman/Balance1, main editor of Upstream, has declared (in a bad english):2 "I don't envy Lord Helmet! 2I just would like to have a mag like his own one"1. At the 3Party III1 - The Final Until The Next One, some new kind of compos will be held. Here is an exclusive, hot, sexy list: - 40 bytes intro compo. - 16.7 Kbytes Gfx compo. - 3 voices music compo. - Best SPANDIMERDA demo compo. - Soccer without feet compo. - 3M disks throwing compo. - Melon Dezign's logo imitation compo. - Spitting compo. - Compo. And of course there will be the usual and wellknown: - Bribe the organizers compo. - Greet the organizers compo. - Buy something at the kiosk compo. - Count for yourself the votes compo. 3Andromeda1 has lately announced the release of 2Mirror III1. It boasts 1659 K of graphics, 198 K of code and a chip tune. If you have missed Mirror II don't desperate, it had 159 K of graphics, 18 K of code and 76 musics. 3Suicid1, the diskmagazine for desperate readers, has annouced a jubilee issue (the fact that they just reached the 6th issue doesn't seem so important). 2Zinkfloid1, lovely main editor of the mag, has decided to celebrate the birthday starting the most spandimerda mag that human man can conceive. After musicdisks that make the diskmags, demos that make the message centers, diskmags that make you puke, slideshows that make nothing, charts that make the slideshows and demopacks that make everything, 3Grapevine1 makes the miracle: more disks than good articles. The frog's picture in 3Upstream1 6's intro features a new effect in the scene: The Badly Coded Interlace Which Seems Made On Purpose. After having discovered that no more than 57 guys have seen the diskmag 2Abnormalia1, the editors of the unlucky mag for unlucky readers have started to wonder if the 24 Official Spreaders have actually ever done their work. 3----------------------------------- 2ISSUE 43 ----------------------------------- 3 ALTERNATIVE NEWS? 2We have an incredible news which will shock the scene! From well informed 2source we have heard that 3Spaceballs1 are falling apart! The group could die 2even before than expected. 1Lonestarr2 is too busy with his lego spaceship for 2Mars, 1Travolta2 is following dance lessons, 1Perplex2 doesn't count, 1Lord Helmet 2is 2too involved to play the soldier and 1Kingpin2 is sleeping. All the others have 2lost concentration. 2Are Spaceballs really going to die? In order to prove the contrary we suggest 2them to make an AGA trackmo in 2 disks stating the contrary before 15 days, 15 2hours and 15 minutes from the publishing of this magazine. Readers, if you 2don't get this trackmo before 21 days, 21 hours and some minutes you can 2consider Spaceballs officially dead, as they would be too lazy to deserve the 2survival in the scene. 3Alcatraz1 definitively can't live without mags. They have tried everything: to strike back with 2MC disk1, to grab the publishing team of 2Propaganda1, to take over 2ICE1. When they finally realized that all the attempts were failed, they decided to make 2Compass1. Look out for it, despite the disgusting name, it'll be a Scenology dream. 3The Ripper of Nightfall1, after having stealt the new Freedom Crack code from the same hands of its ex editors and from the interested sights of Macno/Abnormalia, has decided to find a mag to merge with. The insane choice has fallen on 2The Outer Limits1 from Polaris and soon you'll see a Freedom Limits from Polaris. Nobody has told to Ripper that it's not enough to merge two mags to make an upstream. After the troubles with the ex of his girlfriend, 3RWO of Kefrens1 has decided to leave his girlfriend and go with her ex boyfriend. This are Scenarium news - 2What Upstream will never dare to reveal. After some geologic eras of delay and some hard meditations, 3Rod of Polaris1 has confided us the new slogan of the mag 2The Outer Limits1: "We don't try at all." After the brilliant and very unique idea of making a multitasking mag (see the Random Pearls), 3RAW1 has started to publish articles about system programming and hardware coding and to rate demos also in their system friendlyness. This time the moves of our favourite Priest of the Scene have been a bit too evident... 3Eternal1 strikes back and it doesn't disappoint its fans. The second issue features only news and articles older than 10 months. The secret slogan of the mag is: Eternal delays for Eternal readers. 3The Party III1 has been cancelled. What you've visited has been a fake. When 3 Rokdazone/Infect/AssociateOfArts/Speedy/TheMagicGuild/RawStaff/AbnoStaff will decide to leave the scene, many will miss him. "So, for another couple of months you sink back to the greyness of boring weekdays, but be aware, SH 13E comes IN THE SPRING OF 1994." (Final words of 3Sledgehammer 12E1, Dicember 1993) "Issue 12E will be available around JUNE, 1993" (Final words of 2Sledgehammer 211E1, April 1993) After complex studies the Scenology Academy has forecasted the release of Sledehammer 13E for November 1994. Again on 3Sledgehammer1, I love this mag. They have stolen the work of the 2Big 2Questions Official Wonderers Club1. Here are some of the questions they've asked to the scene: "Do we need old legends in the Scene?" "Do you drop a famous contact, if he usually has long delays?" "Or should you do that?" "Which is better, to have nice contactlist or have average, but fast contacts?" "To be legal or illegal?" "Have you made your scene-job drunk?" "Do you think that drugs or alcohol can give inspiration for a music, graphic or routine?" After Such list of Big Questions, we have decided to remove humbly the Big Questions article from this issue. It merely asked "Are there too many diskmags?". Lousy. In 3Freedom Crack issue 61 by 2Vega1 released the 330th of May 19911 we have found the article which could give a reply to our aborted big question. It's "Too many diskmags?!" by 2Sterling/Savage1. Three years ago there was a guy who moaned about all those guys declaring that there were too many diskmags, stating that actually more choice couldn't harm. Maybe our Big Question was a bit outdated? 3----------------------------------- 2ISSUE 53 ----------------------------------- 3 THE ORIGINAL ALTERNATIVE NEWS 3 (Nothing to be that proud of) After the polemics about porno movies at parties, leaded by men of high and pure morality as 2Rokdazone/Infect1, the exclusive party group 3The Pornos1 has renamed to 2Moral Clerics1. A spokesman from the group has announced a big campaign of funds collection for the poorest sceners. If you see a stand of the Moral Clerics in a party, don't forget to remember them too. If you have also this copy of Scenarium you can ask for a 10% discount on your donation. The sixth day 2Mop1 created ROM and wondered if it was good. The day after he created the scene and asked it an opinion. 3Alcatraz1 are dead!? Some members have left, others are inactive, nobody has seen their Odyssey 2, the majority just doesn't feel the urge to inform diskmags of what they are doing... is another historic group of the scene going to disappear? On 2Upstream1 and 2Propaganda1 the answer would be YES, it would take at least one article for comments and debates and it would be a perfect example of scene journalism. The readers of 3Grapevine1 still don't know that 2Lemon.1, 2Kefrens1 and 2Alcatraz are dead. In an informal occasion 3Lord Helmet1 has recently confided to a friend: 2"You know what is the difference between RAW and the other mags? RAW talks 2about the scene, the others talk about RAW". After the victory at the Assembly '94 3Dalmak1 has surprisingly left2 Stellar1! Questioned on the weird decision he replied: 2 "I thought that Stellar was an 2intro group, this changement of tasks and programs is unacceptable!". Rumours say that Dalmak has joined 2Stone Arts1. 3Virtual Dreams1 have splitted up! After years of high quality productions that never won compo, all the VD members have decided to join other groups. Some of them are now in 2Sanity1, others in 2Complex1, few in 2Andromeda1, the majority in 2Spaceballs1. They are all working on ray traced animations, hoping that sceners will keep on considering them demos. It all started when 3Fester 1revealed that in those mysterious and esoteric hungarian parties they used to have original compos like 2Beethoven compo (composers have to make a module without listening to how it sounds) and 2Voice 2music compo1 (all instruments of a module must be sampled from the voice of the author). Now the scene is going to be invaded by innovative and terrific competitions. Disquieting things like: - 2Rack compo1; graphicians have to draw a portrait of Rack/Absolute! using a black and white monitor. - 2Filler compo1; editors have to write the most pointless text possible in 15 minutes. - 2Mystery compo1; competitors don't know what they are competing for. - 2So-What? compo1; some swappers discuss about various scene topics, who says the most obvious and conventional thing wins. - 2Compo compo1; competitors have to invent new original competitions. The organizers of 3The Party IV1, whoever they are, have sent us a fax with al the details on the party compos. There will 25 or 26 competitions with "big prizes and lotsa fun". The number is uncertain because they aren't sure if it is the case to make a boring, normal, conventional, standard demo compo. 2"But if we manage to plan one1 (demo compo)2"1, they told us, 2"the MINIMUM lenght 2of a demo must be 4Mb, shorter entries won't be accepted". 2Virus 1 has infected his own hard disk. When he tried to run an antivirus he wasn't discovered, happy of being free and active he formatted all his data and spreaded himself to all his 74527 dropped contacts. If you receive a letter with a Virus alive inside (70 Kilos crouched on a diskette) don't hesitate to isolate the beast. Purify yourself, stop the Virus infection! The latest news reveal that the Virus menace has been stopped. All the letters he sent where rejected by the post. Humanity is safe. 3Poko1 and 3 Atya1, the hungarian myths whose drinking abilities are unrivalled in the scene, the trouble duo who never attended a computer meeting in sober conditions, the extravagant couple who once drunk more than half a liter of beer in just three minutes, have joined 2Absolute! 1They will handle public relations, play the mascottes and maybe even write articles for 2Sledge Hammer1. Many have tried before, but 3Iris1 has been the first group to succeed in that. They have the first extraterrestrial section! Some russian astronauts lost in an old orbital space station have joined Iris (who already counts 154 members and 57 divisions). 2 "Their handles are still unknown"1, 3Chris1, Iris WHQ, has told us, 2"but their function is sure: swappers"1. Irritated by the previous news, 3ACBS1, leader of2 Ram Jam1, has decided to let animals of whatever kind join his group. Dogs, cats, zebras but also flies and protozoa can write a letter to Acbs and ask to join. Usually he agrees. 3Gurgle1 has been kicked out of 2Ram Jam1. 3Chris Huelsbeck (musician) joined Isch Crew from Infect. 2"So What?"1, I hear you wondering, 2"do you call this a funny alternative news?" Well, first of all I have never said that Alternative news are supposed to be funny, second this news has been published for 3real1 in the 2IT pack by TRSI1. That is the funny thing. More alternative than the alternative thing. After the success of "Our Little Kitchen", 2Blitter1 has decided to make a special CD book called3 "Bynary Recipes - More than simple hot dogs!"1. He has also announced a DIY section in the next The Jungle. Tips and tricks on how to paint a wall, repair a chair, adjust your radio, connect a new plug, make a wood library, isolate a window, handle water tubes.3 "This is a new marvellous idea 3that will interest every scener out there!"1, he commented boldly. 2Zinkfloid1, the most spandimerded spandimerda ever, has renamed to 2Uyanik1. He explained that he was bored of his old label of first class spandimerda. 3"I wanna change my life, I don't want to spandimerda again all those idiots who 3deserve it."1, he said.