TITLE:THE DRUNK COOL DUDE AND HIS GIRLS (RAW 5)
PALETTE:0223 0779 0899 0b8a


3                       THE DRUNK COOL DUDE AND HIS GIRLS


The  main and first ambition of the average scene dude, the goal of his life and
the justification of his whole existence is to be considered a cool guy.
The  fact that everybody actually consider himself cool, even when he says he is
a  lamer,  is  another matter which won't be explained in this very interesting,
utterly informative and ultimately serious article.
The poor amiga kid, in order to be considered cool by a somehow distorted public
opinion in the scene, has to:
- Fuck seven girls a week;
- Drink  two litres of beer and seven glasses of vodka per night (with complete
  despair of the girl of the day);
- Have a long penis. The longer, the cooler.
- Be  good  in telling all this around.  More people know how cool you are, the
  cooler you are.

It's  not  a  case  that  on  scrolltexts,  diskmags  and interviews many people
underline   their   remarkable  sexual  performances,  their  powerful  drinking
abilities and their overall machism and virility.
The methods to obtain the best effect on the minds of the others are various.
Declarations  of  coolness can be explicit and direct ("2I am cool, I fuck better
2than  God  and drink more than Slayer1") or shy and apparently reserved ("2I don't
2want to talk about personal things, but my girl friend has something to be happy
2with1"),  they  can  be  violent  and  aggressive  ("2I  am a fucking fucker and a
2drinking  drinker,  every  girl  in  the world wants to suck my fucking long and
2remarkable  dick1") or softer and calmer ("2I believe in love, there is no love in
2computers, that's why I stopped to rape them1").

The girls topic has changed the same view about computers and life.
Now  there  are  few  people  declaring  that  computers  are  their  life,  the
2Mahoney-thought1 has been spreaded in the scene as plague.
Now  the cool guy has to declare that computers are not everything in life, that
the  best things in life are not made of electricity and that he enjoys love and
life.
To  booze  with  friends,  to  fuck  girls  and  to  dance  techno are the prime
requisites of a cool guy, if he is also good in coding it's not that important.
Of  course  the  scene  dude is too much conditioned by the scene-thought to see
things  from  a  detached  point  of  view, if the scene says that cool is doing
certain things, the poor, short sighted, influenced dude must do those things in
order to consider himself cool.
The  fact  that  actually  is  not  important  to be really cool but to show and
declare  to  be cool brings us to another topic.  The2 boasters of the scene1, who
declare their coolness even without being cool, also for the pervert standard of
the scene.

I  presume  you  have  now  understood  how  important  is for the scene dude to
demonstrate to the others to have a girl.
A girl means sex, love, life and generally coolness, at the eyes of the scene.
The  proclamation  of  having  a  girl to love can be done in various, extremely
pointless and funny ways.
One of the most elegant, but still lousy, way is to dedicate her your demo.
The funniest things are the love declarations in the demo itself.
I wonder what's the point in this if she hasn't got an Amiga.
Examples  of  this  were  in  2Alcatraz's  Odyssey1  or  in the completely useless
2"Reebok/S!P is in love with Micaela"1 intro.  This was a real new landmark in the
scene!   An lovintro, in the future maybe instead of flowers or jewels boys will
donate to their girls intros and demos.
Times  change  indeed,  I have to find who still dares to say that our lives are
not influenced by computers.
One  of  the  most  ridiculous love declarations ever seen in a scene production
must  be  the  one  of 2 Oli/Brainstorm1 in Musicland 1.  In a text, which is very
funny  also for other reasons, he writes 2"I would also like to say some words to
2my girl friend Alex(andra) who doesn't know if she loves me or not.  I just want
2to  say  that I'm sorry what I did to you, and I hope that you will find the way
2back  to  me,  because  without you life is not as lovely as it was when we were
2together".
Quite  moving  text, I just wonder if it wouldn't be better to say this directly
to her and not in a demo that only the scene guys see.
But  you can all understand that the goal of Oli was to demonstrate to the scene
that  actually  he  had  a girl, the fact that he also included a totally out of
place declaration for her is due, maybe, to the young age.
Before  hearing the protests of someone telling me to take care of my business I
just  have  to  state that OLI wrote those personal words on the music disk, not
me.

Also  2Lord  Helmet1 is far from being reserved about his sexual performances.  In
his  interviews  with  girls  or in other articles written by him you cannot not
notice how the guy is proud of his look and of his crowded girls list.
The  fact  that  actually Lord Helmet could be a nerd (for the reader who hasn't
seen  him) is not important, he has given to the scene the image of the playboy,
therefore he feels himself a cool guy.
The  temptation  for Lord Helmet to scream to the world that he has success with
girls  is  too  big,  our  good,  poor,  favourite, aggressive and quite envy of
Brainstorm's marvellous Patsy joke, main editor can't resist to it.

"You  don't  feel yourself cool till you actually say around that you are cool",
this could be the maxim summing up all this speech.

So,  what's  the  point  in  an article like this?  To provoke persons?  To make
wars?  To stop love-demos?  Just to break the balls?
Nothing similar.
There  is  no real point actually, I just wanted to say to all the lovers of the
scene to keep on telling around to be cool and in love.
You can't imagine how it is interesting for the world.
3Bad luck that an intro doesn't make children.