$0f0|1-I thought this was funny when I


$0f0|1-wrote it, but I know I was wrong!


$ff0|2-Pen
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$ff3|1-V99.6a
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$0f0|1-By Daniel Thornton


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System requirements:
--------------------

1 hand or better
1 Piece paper
Human Brain V1.0+

Introduction
------------

Since  the  beginning  of time, humans have been crying out for a way of
putting  small marks, henceforth known as `words` on pieces of processed
wood-pulp  known  as  `paper`.   Since  this project was started, it has
undergone  various  changes  (see  `history`,  and I now believe that is
finally almost perfect.

Instructions for use
--------------------

To  use  the Pen, you must first boot up your brain (also referred to as
`being  awake`).  When the startup-sequence has finished, you must first
get  a  load  of paper and place it on a flat surface.  If you find that
your  startup-sequence  takes  too  long,  you  may  find that using the
`Nescafé`  Commodity speeds up your brain`s startup-sequence.  Secondly,
pick  up  your Pen, and remove the special `Cap(tm)` (registered version
only).   Place  the  point  of  the Pen onto the paper, and move the pen
around,  gripping  quite firmly, until coloured Marks(tm) appear.  These
Marks(tm) may be any colour, but they are usually BLACK, BLUE, RED or in
some  revisions, GREEN.  When you have finished using your Pen, lift the
Pen  from  the  Paper  and  replace the Cap(tm).  You may wish to have a
backup-copy  of  your Pen.  If so, these are available with the original
Pen for only £15 extra, and are known as `Presentation Sets`.

Shareware notice
----------------

The  Pen  is shareware.  As such, you may use the Pen up to a maximum of
20  times,  before  registering.  The registration fee is only £0.21 and
for  this  you get the Cap(tm) which you place on the point of your Pen.
This  Cap(tm)  is a unique and useful Commodity for your Pen, as correct
usage can help prolong the life of your Pen.  To register, send a cheque
for £0.21 (inc p&p) to one of the following addresses:

         BIC                                PARKER
    21 Budget Street                 1-50 Flashgit Road
        Peckham                           Park Lane
        A12 345                             R5O L3

History
-------

1st century BC   | Pen V1.0 created. Very primitive - it is just a sharp
                 | point, which when pressed hard onto human skin,
                 | creates a flow of red ink, known as `Blood`.
A few hundred    | The ink is now available in various colours, and is
years later AD   | dependent on human blood. The Pen V75.2 consists of a
                 | feather which is dipped in ink, and leaves trails on
                 | paper. V75.2 has the sub-name `Quill`.
17th century AD  | Ink is now stored in the Pen`s Barrel. Easy
                 | replacement. (V80.2r)
Around 1930`s    | Mr Biro takes over Pen production. He believes that
                 | Pen should not leak on plane`s, and redesigns it,
                 | with a new type of ink. Pen V87.63a is released.
1940+            | Minor bug-fixes and cosmetic changes. V80.2r is still
                 | available.

Copyright warning
-----------------

Although  Pen  is  shareware, it is protected by international copyright
law.   The manufacturer`s of Pen will take legal action if Pen is copied
or sold illegaly.

Warning
-------

We  are aware of a number of pirate versions of Pen V1.0 in circulation.
These  are  highly  dangerous, as the points vary in size and sharpness.
The  manufacturer  of  these  ILLEGAL pirate copies calls them `Knives`.
Beware:  These are highly dangerous.

·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·.

$00f|1-Another product of the mind of


$0f0|1-Daniel Thornton
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end