}0offf1oefe2odfd3ocfc4obfb5oafa6o9f97o8f8 {2{n HOW TO COMMIT SUICIDE! }0o7f71o6f62o5f53o4f44o3f35o2f26o1f17o0f0 {1{n }0offf1oeef2oddf3occf4obbf5oaaf6o99f7o88f By: D Icelord }0o77f1o66f2o55f3o44f4o33f5o22f6o11f7o00f +++++++++ {gThis is the first edition of a series I'll be making of "How to....." files. {aI've chosen this subject because I live near a railroad and it's quite often that I hear the enormous honk of a train and screeching of brakes and a few seconds later I see a train with a red nose (no, not Rudolf) and a lot of red bits and pieces come by. Obviously this is one way to commit suicide altough I find it rather messy and very shocking to the trainengineer. Therefore I'm descibing a couple of ways here that are less messy/shocking and (probably) less painful. NOTE: I haven't tested ANY of these ways because I prefer staying alive (as far as being a frozen icecube can be called "alive") NOTE2: With this file I don't want to encourage people to commit suicide which I think is rather stupid anyway. But merely let people enjoy this article (you've gotta be CRAZY to enjoy THIS file) and for people who have already decided to do this that they get a quick, painless death and don't hurt other people in the process. }0o00f1o11f2o22f3o33f4o44f5o55f6o66f7o77f8o88f 1. {2{nHANGING YOURSELF }0o99f1oaaf2obbf3occf4oddf5oeef6offf {1{aHanging is a way which when done properly is {dVERY {aquick, fairly painless (according to some scientists) and cheap. However, if done wrongly this method is a long and painful death. The only thing you need for this is a rope (not string), and something capable of holding your weight. What you do is take about 0.8 meters of the rope and make a loop with it big enough so that it just fits over your head. With the remaining rope (of the 0.8 side) you put it next to the long end for about 0.1 metres and then you turn this around these to bits of rope. After you have done this, put the last piece of rope inside this so it goes parallel to the other two bits inside. The best way of doing this is by putting a stick of some sort next to the 2 bits of rope and when the loops are finished remove this and put the rope in it. after you have done this, tighten the knot by pulling on the rope that went in first. in picture: _ / \ 1 / \ 2 abc | / ||| ___D a long and of rope goint in the loop | / //// b short end of rope from the loop | / //// c stick || //// A long end of rope || //// B start where rope goes in the loops | ||/ C other end of stick | |B| D loose end of rope which after stick is A C removed goes in the loop bit 3 abc |||\ a long end going into the loop //// b rope from the loop //// c here the rope goes back into the loops //// A long end of rope(this should be attached to the pole or //// whatever you're using to hold you) |||/ B here the rope starts going around the 2 bits of rope ||B C loose end from above now pulled through the loops |C A to tighten knot pull ab and A hard Practise this knot a few times until all goes well and then proceed. Tie the other end to a pole or whatever you are using and put the loop around your neck. Tighten loop so it fits exactly around your neck and when finished remember why you want to do this, and try to reconsider. If this doesn't help, jump, kick the chair you're standing on or something like that but make sure you get a big shock through your body. If all goes well your neck should now break and you're dead in seconds. }0o00f1o11f2o22f3o33f4o44f5o55f6o66f7o77f8o88f 2. {2{nJUMPING }0o99f1oaaf2obbf3occf4oddf5oeef6offf {1{aThere are many ways of jumping and if done right you will certainly be dead and the best thing about this is that you don't need anything except a lot of height. With a lot I mean at least 20 stories of a building but (I recommend this) you can also learn how to jump from a plane with a parachute and when you are actualy jumping not open your parachute. I also recommend that when you jump, especialy if you are jumping from a building to jump head down this way your skull will be fragmentated and/or your neck broken and you're dead. This will increase the chance of your death considerably but remember that the record of a person jumping and SURVIVING a fall is about 30,000 feet!!!! Also if you're jumping from a building, make sure there is no one under you since you might drag someone in your grave with you this way This method is very messy though. }0o00f1o11f2o22f3o33f4o44f5o55f6o66f7o77f8o88f 3. {2{nPOISON }0o99f1oaaf2obbf3occf4oddf5oeef6offf {1{aI'm not going to tell you anything about this because this is usually a very painful way of dying. But there are certain poisons that are quick and not agonising and tortuosly painful. Curare is NOT one of them but is VERY effective (0.0001cc of this stuff can kill 20 people if injected in their bloodstream) but also {dVERY {apainful if you want a description of how someone looks after he is injected with it try reading Sherlock Holmes. }0o00f1o11f2o22f3o33f4o44f5o55f6o66f7o77f8o88f 4. {2{nSTABBING }0o99f1oaaf2obbf3occf4oddf5oeef6offf {1{aProbably very painfull but if you really want to die of a stab wound, try opening some arteries like the ones in your neck or the aorta(the one that comes directly from your heart) or the ones in your legs. }0o00f1o11f2o22f3o33f4o44f5o55f6o66f7o77f8o88f 5. {2{nFIRE }0o99f1oaaf2obbf3occf4oddf5oeef6offf {1{aAs with poison very painful but if you must, use something very flamable like gasoline or alcohol and cover you body with it. then light it. But make sure nothing around you can catch fire!!! }0o00f1o11f2o22f3o33f4o44f5o55f6o66f7o77f8o88f 6. {2{nELECTRICITY }0o99f1oaaf2obbf3occf4oddf5oeef6offf {1{aThis I SERIOUSLY Hate because it's VERY PAINFUL and takes a long time to be effective. I once accidently got 220 V through me for a second and I can tell you that you DON'T want to die of electricity no matter how DESPERATE you are. }0o00f1o11f2o22f3o33f4o44f5o55f6o66f7o77f8o88f 7. {2{nEXPLOSIONS }0o99f1oaaf2obbf3occf4oddf5oeef6offf {1{aProbably very painful and pretty hard too because you first need to get some explosives. The only way of killing yourself without pain and very quick is probably the atomic bomb but then again who has an atomic bomb? (No!! you CAN'T borrow my files on atomic bombs and how to make 'em!! I don't want you to blow up 20 milion people just to commit suicide) {dThis wraps up this session of {aHow to....... {dhope you enjoyed it and learned something from it. {2{g -D ICELORD {1{b(Ed: {dKiwi's {afavourite method involves swallowing a hand grenade and sucking all fingers. Then wait for the police to come and identify the body! {dSoth {arecommends suffocating on a baby's leg. {dJez {awants you to kick the bucket by sealing yourself in a sound proof room and being subjected to music from Nuke/Anarchy. Remember boys and girls, commiting suicide can be dangerous, so make sure a grown-up is with you whilst you do it. Free copies of the `{gSatanic Rites{a' sucide help-pack are available from the normal address.....{b)