322 Part 375 By Phil!94/DF. ----------------- It would be nice to be a mellow dude all the time but there's so many things in life that totally piss me off. Here's some of the things currently high up on my goat-getting list. Rant mode on: Newspapers do my head in. They're always sucking up to society's expections of how people should live their lives and conform to the norm. Y'know the type of attitude, if if youre not married by the time your 24 you're a bit weird, strange, one to keep an eye on etc etc. EG: When there's a story about, say, some single bloke who committed suicide or summat, under the headline, the 1st paragraph will inevitably start with "Bachelor, Mr Blah.." or "Loner, Mr Gaff.." almost emphasizing to society that "its nothing to worry about - he was an oddball anyway!". If they guy was married with kids the report would be be a damn sight more sympathetic and probably make no comment on his marital status until the end when it would say "Mr Blab was a family man and leaves a wife and two children." The 'reporting' in these rags is crass bullshit! They always blow everything out of proportion, seeming trying to provoke a massive outcry... Wasnt there a supposedly enormous hoo-har about Gamesmaster showing the 18-rated (shocker) Mortal Combat 2? The impression the report in the paper gives is of millions of angry parents phoning in, jamming the switchboards, panicking that a bit of digitized fisticuffs with loads of red pixels flying about will turn little Tommy into a jugular-slashing psycho! Predictably, the reality of the matter is that about 6 people phoned in, Mr and Mrs Tedious and 5 of their friends from Snoozeville! Miserable old codgers piss me off! You know, the "Morally concerned" Mary Whitehouse types. Isnt it always these petty boring festering shits that write in to newspapers/phone TV companies everytime someone swears or there's a flash of a nipple on screen? What happens to people when they get old? Is the fun-gland particularly prone to premature decay or summat? Something else that gets my goatee! Stupid editting of films on TV for bad language etc. It just makes a mockery of em. Did you see the comedy that WAS Robocop on ITV a few months back? Deary me. Apparently he's a mean "Mutha CRUSHER" whos a "PHREAKIN' pain in the BUTT". I didnt know Robo was into blue-boxing! It was pathetic. I dont swear that much myself, and seeing a film with swearing in it (even if it is a bit unneccesary) isnt going to turn me into a foul mouthed yob. Personally I reckon that if they cant show a film without making a complete travesty of it they shouldnt show it at all. Bloody Nanny State! I'll tell you who piss me off as well: Those BOOORRIINNG cheese-ends who, year in, year out try to get fireworks banned! According to these prats everyone should all attend 'organized displays' like good little sheep. Well bollox! This is another crap-ass Nanny State scenario! If people get burnt thats their tough cack - there's enuf warnings on the box. Dismantling air bombs and blowing stuff up is one of my fave activities around the 5th Nov. If I blow myself up, thats my fault, I know the risks, I dont need pampering by self appointed do-gooders. What else pisses me off? Oh yeah, the way that "Taking the dog for a walk" is a euphormism for "Taking the dog for a log". Why do these dumbos just let their mutt dump its load right in the middle of the pavement? We have an (alledged) park the back of our house and its no better - its just a dogs communal shitting quarter! Its like a bloody minefield at times I'll tell yer... And then there's the BBC TV "Licence" and its oppressive 'pay-up' ads, religous fanatics who wont piss off when you ignore em, the way its always cloudy when theres an eclipse, political correctness, fashion victims who think they're cool for spending £80 on a pair of trainers, mindless dance music.. . . Arrgh!!!!!!!!