The Myth of Piracy  


   Eddie Stevens has a brief look at THE PIRACY MYTH and suggests a fun way
  for SANITY RETENTION (I think.!)


    ( 31 )|( 31 )|( 31 )|( 31 )|( 31 )|( 31 )|( 31 )|( 31 )|( 31 )|( 31 )


   As long as I have control over my faculties, Gremlim Software will never,
  and I mean NEVER! see me as a purchaser again of ANYTHING they ever
  release.

   Why? because they caught me with "Greg Norman Golf".

   This one of many EXCESSIVELY paranoically protected and non-hard
  installable games, which when loading sounds like the drive heads are
  trying to read the bottom tracks by boring through from the top
  (incidentally one of the MAJOR causes of premature drive failure), has disc
  AND manual protection, which by the time you've navigated through to
  actually attempt to play the game, leaves you with hardly energy enough to
  make a coffee, let alone face the rigours a round of golf usually serves
  up.

   The graphics are crap anyway, World Class Leaderboard rates 90 points
  higher out of a hundred on both graphics and playability.

   This would be one of those companies who have the gall to blame their
  falling sales on piracy, when the TRUTH is that the consumer has finally
  woken up to who produces QUALITY and who releases rip-off garbage.

   And the horrifying trend becoming evident is that Commodore give ear to
  these producers of OVERPRICED JUNK programmes and their piracy claims, by
  developing a 'Pirate Proof' (ha, ha,) rom card system, such as in the 600,
  and foretell that within three years the good old 3.5 floppy will cease to
  be in existence.

   If this happens, I for one will sadly say goodbye to my Amiga and become a
  PC owner.

   But getting back to Gremlin, and a few tips on sanity preservation.

   The frustration generated in these instances may give rise to the uttering
  of phrases like, "By Ch..st, these b.s...ds aren't gunna get away with
  this".., as the offending item is torn from the disk drive, and the alias
  for your favourite text editor is roughly punched in..., (well, with more
  than usual vigour, anyway), and the purge commences.

   You see, if ever you feel frustrated anger, or downright fed up with being
  taken for a patsy, and unable to contact and abuse at that moment, those
  responsible for upsetting your normally calm laid-back disposition, an
  exceptionally adequate release is to be found in the penning of a chiding
  missive to those responsible.

   Refraining of course from using the more naughty words, rather substitute
  these with phrases like; "I am at a loss to ascertain your reasoning in
  installing such insidiously excessive protection on your release of the
  game ("Name of game")".

   "Surely you jest if your concern is one of piracy".

   "I am compelled to bring to your attention, at no expense to yourselves,
  the fact that, obviously unknown by you, "Pirates have not the slightest
  modicum of interest in pirating CRAP games".  (a stinger)

   Or how about something like "It saddens me to see that your main concern
  lies in the area of taking money under false pretences, this is glaringly
  evidenced by your touting of this game as brilliant, when in fact for one,
  the on disc protection you have chosen to employ is proven to be extremely
  destructive to disk drives, thus lending credence to one's thoughts that
  greed rates higher with you than preservation of the consumers' hardware".

   "The game itself consists of inferior graphics that appear to have been
  created by a long term inhabitant of a mental institution, although what
  with the over excessive protection, I have only managed to load it once,
  and will state quite categorically that being so completely devoid of
  interest or ANY redeeming features, be assured this will be the last time
  too."

   "A further certainty will be global warnings that the jokes you deign to
  label quality software be given the wideness of berth, one would usually
  reserve for a bearer of the plague".

   "And in closing mention that unless you enjoy turning various hues of
  blue, holding your breath in anticipation of seeing any more of my money is
  an act as doomed to failure as your production of something remotely
  playable is".

   You know, that sort of thing, it cuts and stings them much deeper than
  simple vitriolic abuse, sort of an educated abuse, and you soon find
  yourself laughing at the far-outness stuff your'e coming up with, and it
  then becomes a whole lotta fun, phrasing the ultimate cutting insults and
  putdowns.

   I kid you not, it's great fun therapy, give it a whirl the next time the
  agros begin to surface.

   You don't have to actually mail the result to gain release from your
  threatening outward expansion, the therapy operates by taking the words you
  are unable to utter in person, from INSIDE you, and putting them where they
  are visible, and this in effect begins to seem as though you are actually
  speaking them to the object of your ire.

   On the other hand, if on occasion, you're so damn fed up to, and beyond
  the back teeth at paying for bug infested, needlessly protected software
  and being used as an unpaid beta tester, then..., by all means, mail it.

   You really feel as though you've struck back taking this course of action.

   Even though you're fully aware that the postage cost is dead bikkies, this
  somehow is of supreme irrelevance, as your thoughts drift to the not
  totally recallable contents of "Your missive of discontent", and hey! who
  knows? I might even get a reply.

   Therapy is over, complete recovery to usual placidity is evident to any
  observer friends who may have been present at occasion of "That was a near
  thing, closest I ever seen anyone yet to goin' right over the edge".

   This raises a rather moralistic type question.

   Do you agree that it's perfectly acceptable for a certain group of humans,
  whose only concern is the amassing of vast sums, to be legally in a
  position capable of bringing a hell of a lot us as close to insanity as you
  can get and manage to return, and what of those poor souls who even now,
  have still not returned, have gone far beyond the return point, so far
  indeed as to render them incapable of communicating the true cause of the
  increasing number of signs appearing from one end of the country to the
  other, displaying the simple, yet curiously ambiguous message...., "Out to
  Lunch..".


    ( 31 )|( 31 )|( 31 )|( 31 )|( 31 )|( 31 )|( 31 )|( 31 )|( 31 )|( 31 )