55 Chester Road, Poynton, Cheshire. SK12 1QU Watcha n whip ya! Ich habe acht passe in mein GCSE. Ich bin siebsehn jahre alt und ich habe ein grosse brain! What the....? Just showing you how I felt during my German exam! Uhm, I did get a good pass honest! Well even us mega-boffins 'ave ta be crap in someat! (for me its quite a few things but who gives a gobble-dee?) Still my meagre ?? passes got me into 6th form! Fuckin well wish I adn't now! First day back & I find Economics has changed to a different option box so my choices where all fucked up! I then find that the computing course has been changed to an IT course. Well after complainging for 1 hour I got absolutely gip-a-din-ow (nowhere). On my second day back (toi-day) I complains again. Somehow I get all me options fucked around with & end up doing electronics instead of IT (dont ask what happened, all I know is one minute I'm giving the head master a hard time & the next minute I'm out of the office with a completely new set of A levels!!!!) My answer is to say..."Sod School I'm of to join the dowl" & then I remember that the price of beers is sky-fucking-high! So I does as am told & do me first Physics lesson (dead easy) then I do my first Physics home work (perhaps a good time to commit suicide?) can anyone answer the following problem:- A tube of liquid which has a cross-section area of one square centimeter (ten to the minus 4 meters square). Suppose the liquid conducts a current of 10-² ampere. For simplicity (hey lets play marbles!), think of the current being carried by a lot of charged particles (narr, pink elepants!), all moving along at the same speed, v, which you will be able to calculate if some more assumptions are made (like whoever wrote this book is a right twat!!) about the charged particles. Suppose there is a couting station at XX (any point in the cylinder), which records the number of particles corssing that slice of tube. a) In 16 seconds, with a current of 10-² ampere, what electrical charge passes XX? (I'm of to bed). ....Even more harder bullshit follows.... Well I got a C in maths & an A in physics & I'm well & truly stuck! Still I've a lesson tommorow so I'll have fun being kicked of the course & becoming a larger lout! -Whats all this becoming? Present tense please. So whats that got to do with ACC? Simple with all this cow-dung to occupy me I'll not have time to contribute anymore to ACC (cheer-hoo-rar!). But dont cry cos in the words of Arnie....I'LL BE BACK Bet your dying to know what I got in my Degrees aint ya? Well I got straight A's (ahhhhhBULLSHIT) OK thats a tinsee lie............. Hey I'm really depressed right now so please leave me alone. OK so what ave a sent to ABC (Amiga Basic Club?) Well I've sent yee a much improved bob routine (sorry about the shit one last time). I've also sent a program to work out bob cords for alien attack patterns, etc. I may also have sent my latest demo, however thats unllikely as Notman wont alow me to release the code or gfx & seeing as its a group product I cany release unassembled stuff unless the whole group agree. Right I'll ave another crack at those questions now (wow, a flying pig) or maybe I'll watch telly, commit suicide? Start learning C or stop coding altogether, I've really not decided yet........ A few messys:- Mark ---- You did fuck-up! The bleeding decrunch overflowed! Thats what appens when a lazy swab does a cool magazine (ACC?) Was that car really a Ferrari? Hey lets all do mega lame copper melt routines! How embarassing? Just incase everyone doesn't know, check out Mark copper melt routine on last ACC, then laugh & call Mark a lamer! If you don't know what I'm talking about I guess you've been coding for all of 10 minutes! Master Beat ----------- Uhm..wonder whos at the top of the devision? Who is Leadsa Unitting club anyway? Why do you support lufc (dont deserve capitals). Like hoping for the impossible? Don't worry you mental people are all equal (kind-of) Tech ---- Don't write back then, see if I care! What grades did you get at GCSE, A A A A A A A A A? Blaine ------ I'm still awaiting your first "official" ACC letter! Letters are lusty (oo-er) code is kiwi! Gorby ----- I tried to warn ya! Dave (Shaw) ----------- Hows the demo comming along? Inclde a scrolly & give me a greet!! Jeramy ------ Sick humour guy! -Narr good laugh keep up getting them idiots to fall of houses & brake every bone in d body! oops! I seem to be abusing my privilage as an honory ACC contibutor to give greets! Quick word on ACC 15 (last un) Nice menu, lame selection system! I really love having to position the selector 1 line below the file name & then experty selecting the file above!!!!!!!!!!! The menu was a nice shade of yellow (green my ass!) The file viewer had a few problems (imagine using it for a Dave Edwards mega doc...horrifying thought eh?) Try sticking a few CooL vector bobs on it to make it all interesting! (only joking) I'm sorry for any bullshit that may offend people (like semi-quaver!) but at the moment I don't care... Write back with something lame about me & face my UZI! VIRUSES ------- I recently got SADAM (which I cured before any harm was done) & REVENGE (Which has masacred some of me files). Why do these lame shits write such utter crap? Sod the legal crap lets kick ass. If you know of any lame virus writer write to:- Lamer Virus Writer Exterminater Squad Hell Down Bel ow And we'll exterminate the vermine before any real harm is done. Alternatively you can dorn your magnum & bullet proof vest. Go round to the bastards house. Kick in the door, say "Nice place" blow it up. Grab the vermin by the horns, slam im up against the wall, say "punny little mother aint ya!" then put your fist through his face, yell "Watch me clothes with that blood yer leakin ya yella belly!" then pull out the magnum & hiss "wheres the quid for the bullet ya skirvy bandeet?" & then blow a hole in the vermins single brain cell (precise aiming will be rquired to hit the tiny picece of stale bread) and then stare im in the eye & as nice as pie say. "Poorly made plastic pans, £5.95 at B&Q" then ram is ed up is arse & leave thinking to yer self, "Im sure ees an lufc, mad n mental supporter." Then go ome & feel pleased at becoming a lamer virus writer exterminater & die peacefully in hell! That rounds up this week edition of gardeners world! Watcha! I'm stuck for words?><$^* Hows about some info on a new Amiga thats being released? My mate who works at ?????? (removed for legal reasons) has told me of a new AMY thats being released. The specs are:- Name: Amiga 5000 CPU: 69000 (new bread of CPUs, designed to sprout arms & make you a coffee in d morning! Memory: A new unit of meory needed to be made cos this computer has soooooooo much memory. To be precise its got 970 Watcha bytes of memory. Colours: 60 zillion Sound: Built in CD system Drive: No floppy uses a laser disc device instead Hardware: Tritter, Blitter, Maths Coprocessor, Dejagger, Williab (pixel blitter that can copy memory at 500000000000000 megabytes a nano second) Developer: Bullshiter & co. Well willip its time to go. Wish I could stay & chat but I've got people to kill, wars to start, seas to pollute, air to pollute, O zone to kill, Trees to burn and worlds to corrupt........Which brings me on to my final subject, a disc mag (neep-neep). OK heres me idea.....me and Notman (you can call im mooron) have decided to release a disc mag. The mag will contain previews, reviews & latest news on the scene (A member of the group works for a famous magazine company). It'll contain charts, text (of courseee-dorsee), a coding section (not like ACC, more tips & ideas, etc.). We'll probably have an Off The Lip tune every month (or a reader tune). Notman can do a gfx section. I'd like most of the mag to be stuff sent from many people! Letters pages are the best so it'll contain loads of letters (even if I ave to forge some). I've got to get in contact with Mr Master Beat first for some info & ideas. Please send me any stuff you thinks worth inclusion. Send an SAE as well cos I'm a poooor student....... Silly saying of the decade......"Ummmm leeds are a good football team!" Best joke of the decade......"LUFC is a football team of high standards" Biggest fact of the decade..."Man Utd are the coolest and greatet FC ever!" Remember MUFC, your deity (me!) commands a league win. Greets to all MUFC fans (who is Man City anyway? A huge piece of cow dung!) Just before I round up this letter I'll just do a bit of advertising........ ----------------------------------------------------------- PLEASE BY MARK AN ATARI ST COS HE LIKES CODING USING A LAME OPERATING SYSTEM SO LETS GIVE HIM A LAME COMPUTER FOR CONSISTENCY.............SORRY MARK, THE OS IS REALLY GOOOD -HONEST! ------------------------------------------------------------ Welpee sqelchee, I like to make a letter to compete with a Tech letter but I'm really quickly running out of stuff to write............I'm getting an idea!....Its an ACC project.......It uses the hardware (Don't cry Mark!) Heres the specs.. Project.......Game (Using d hardware) Problem.......Lazy bastards don't help Soluttion.....Terminate lazy bastards, bring in new squad. So what I'm saying is if all you hardware feaks would like to write a game then why not? I'd like it to use bobs for the "sprites" (non of this sprite only stuff!). This of course causes collision detection problems but me n Rick have already solved this one. First of all we need ideas. For next issue everyone should send their ideas to Mark, then we can either a)vote for the best idea or b)I chose (Mark, you chooses everything else so dont be greedy this time!!!!!). Then everyone that wants to help sends his/her name in. For we get a list like:- 1. Raistlin 2. MB 3. Tech We scrap the idea or just us 3 work on it. However if we get a good response then we divide up the work load & each week send in our latest developments. This way if we get stuck we can each help out and of course people can join in later on. Anway If were gonna do it well ave to do it quick before the likes of school & Notman command me to do alternative work.. Last messys (honest) Tech ---- Did you get the disc I sent? Master Beat ----------- Did you get the discs I sent? Question.. Perhaps nobody likes me? or poor Raist..............Bye for yesterday & hello for yakitaki Raistlin........(Feeling very pissed off & positively suicidal at living such a cool life!) P.S. Mark, if you give me any hassle I describe your car to everyone!!!!!