Summer 1947 Gag Factory Catalog ORDER BY TELEPHONE KLondike 512 "Have you ever found yourself at the business end of a cream pie, wishing you had a seltzer bottle? Well, wish no longer!" Dear Friends, Welcome to Marvin's Gag Factory - the worlds largest supplier of tricks and shticks to the cartoon industry. Over the past twenty years we have earned the reputation of providing the finest quality merchandise at rock-bottom prices. We are proud to present the latest edition of our mail order catalog to you, John Q. Public. With nearly twice as many items as last year, this catalog is THE source for all your gag needs. Shopping by catalog is easy. Just flip through the pages to find hundreds of items, from whoopee cushions to sixteen-ton weights. Once you've found the perfect gag, just dial KLondike 512. Two or three seconds later your package will arrive via special messenger. Now there's no excuse for not getting back at those you love. Our goal is to provide you with the most ridiculous gags at the least ridiculous prices. Sincerely, Mr. Smith Sales Manager THAT-A-WAY SIGN: ---------------- Your baffled buddies won't get the point when you bewitch them with this bewildering sign. This single signpost features pointers labeled NORTH POLE, SOUTH POLE, HE WHEN THAT-A-WAY, WRONG WAY, RIGHT WAY, and AZUSA. A must for anyone on the lam. WAS: $3.16 NOW: $1.40 Backwards Pills: ---------------- !toir hgual a era sllip esehT .evirra ot smees eh nehw evael dna sdrawkcab etirw, sdrawkcab klat ,sdrawkcab klaw mitciv rouy ekam ot deetnarauG .stelbat suoived eseht fo elpuoc a swollaws eh retfa gniog ro gnimoc s'eh rehtehw wonk t'now mitciv rouY Original price: 19¢ - ¢91 :ecirp elaS Sixteen-TON Weight ------------------ Being pursued by a bunch of pistol-packing weasles? Simple reach out, pull the lever, and send this sixteen-ton weight dropping on their heads! Works every time! Choice of effects: Drive victim into ground, shatter victim into a thousand pieces, or turn victim into a manhole cover. Lever, rope, pully, and victim not included. A steal at $19.99 YOW! THUD SPLAT! ---------------- Transform your pop-gun into Big Bertha! Add a herty SPLAT! to punctuate a well-aimed pie throw! You name the gag, we've got the sound effect. Each effect comes in it's own leakproof, corked bottle to ensure that your sounds will ring true, on cue. Slapstick (thud! Whap! YOW! etc.) Waterbury (Gurgle, Slosh, SPLASH! etc). Contraption (Whirrrr, Buzzz, Ta-pocketa, etc.) Explosion (Bang! KAPOW!! Phhhhhht, etc.) Your choice: 49¢ - Order all four and get free Bronx cheer $1.29 Earthquake Pills ---------------- "It's not my fault!" your buddy shouts as your buddy shakes, rattles, and rolls thanks to our famous earthquake pills. Made of shiverberry plant grown in San Andreas, California, these pills are guaranteed to shake things up. Bottle of 50 pills, only: 29¢ Stay-put glue ------------- You'll be stuck on our super-strength glue. Just coat the bottom of your favorite foe's foot with this stuff and then give him a big, wet kiss. When he tries to give chase, he'll fall flat on his face with his feet firmly cemented to the ground. Even Toons of incredible strength cannot escape it's adhesive effects. Great for getting out of sticky situations. Half Gallon carton: 69¢ Squirting Flower ---------------- When you friends take time to smell the flowers, you'll howl with laughter as a perfectly aimed jet of water squirts them in the face! Works hundreds of times - always funny! Available in carnation, orchid, and rose. Your choice: 19¢ - order all three: 39¢ Plutonium Pogo-Stick -------------------- Spring into action with this potentially perilous, plutonium-powered pogo stick. Our miraculous mechanical marvel can launch you up to 20,000 feet! Hang on to our E-Z Grip handlebars as you ricochet into the stratosphere. Not for use indoors or in tunnels. Priced to go: $1.00 Super Vacuum ------------ Clean up your act with this Suck-o-Lux vacuum cleaner. Flip the switch and watch this industrial-strenght model suck up everything in sight. Toons, rugs fixtures, furniture all disappear into the vacuum bag for easy disposal. The perfect appliance for bringing indoor chase scenes to a BIG FINISH! Blowout price: $5.00 Vanishing Cream --------------- Your friends will be able to see right through you when you use our miraculous vanishing cream. Perfect for sneaking up on obnoxious opponents or hiding from pesky pursuers. Effect lasts till your next bath. Buy now before our inventory disappears. 7-oz. jar only: 20¢ Whoopee cushion --------------- A classic that's always comical! When folks sit down - listen for the phhhhhhhhhhht! Watch as they turn red with embarrassment and then blame the dog. This one's a real gasser! Clearance price: 55¢ Hot Gum ------- Spice up a party with this super hot gum. Offer a stick to some unsuspecting Joe, and try to keep your sides from splitting as you laugh at the flames belching from his mouth. He'll stick is tongue under a faucet, he'll run, he'll jump. Always a great way to impress the girls. On sale: 1¢ per pack Elevator Shoes -------------- Rise to the occasion with these "E-GO-BOOST" elevator shoes. Just press the illuminated button on the heal, listen for the ding, and up, up, and away! Makes puny runts into towering behemoths. Always good for a lift. 2-floor model: $2.50 - 4-floor model: $3.50 Box-o-matic mallet ------------------ This deceptively devious gag really packs a punch! Appears to be a standard issue anti-mouse mallet. But press the trigger and a spring loaded boxing glove shoots out. Telescoping arm reaches lengths of up to FIFTY feet. A big hit at parties! On sale for: 73½¢ Exploding Cigar --------------- Want to burst the balloon of your foe after one of his momentary victories? Shove one of these babies into his puss, light the end, and hand in hearty congratulations. Now step back and see who REALLY gets the last laugh! A few puffs and BOOM!!! - your foe's face is covered with soot! A perfect capper to turn his happy ending into yours. Special purchase: 89¢ per box Footprints ---------- Slap a few of these handy footprints onto the ground, jump behind the bushes, and watch the fun as your foe walks in circles or off the nearest cliff! (Free dance instruction booklet included.) Box of one gross: 3¢ GIANT Slingshot --------------- Have a fling with this industrial-grade slingshot. Gives you the gain on even the fastest varmints. Solid oak construction and 100% Indian rubber make it simple to launch anything from gliders to small elephants. Original price: $18.00 - Sale price: $2.22 Hand Buzzer ----------- Shake up your pals with this clever little device. Fits in the palm of your hand so you can give everyone a buzz. Try to keep your sides from splitting as you watch the reaction. Shocks 'em every time. Guaranteed to make a great first impression! Still our biggest seller!! Noisemaker model: 33¢ - 5,000-volt model: 43¢ Itching powder -------------- Know someone who gives you the hives? Give him the seven-year itch! Just drop a pinch of this high-potency itching powder into his boxer shorts! Then stand back and laugh as you watch him frantically scratch the rash! Effects harmlessly vanish after six months. 99-pinch vial: 7¢ Might-e-smelly Limburger Cheese ------------------------------- This special recipe of Limburger cheese has been created with an emphasis on odor, not taste. Guaranteed to make skunks pack up and leave. This extra-stinky, extra-sticky cheese is the most potent, pungent product we have ever peddled. Aged over 90 years. P.U.! Please, get it out of here! 12-oz wheel Liquidation price: we pay you 19¢ Portable holes -------------- Just the thing for a quick getaway! This versatile hole allows you to reach through walls and drop through floors. It's roomy interior can store the entire contents of your attic! Simply slap one down and slip yourself through. Completely portable, you can carry it anywhere or fold it up for future use. 12-inch diameter model, closeout: 9¢ 36-inch diameter model, closeout:15¢ 72-inch diameter model, closeout:23¢ ALUM ---- Our extra-potent alum formula is guaranteed to make a Toon or a real person pucker till the cows come home - works better than lemons! Our alum is great for making people shut their trap. Also prevents whistling, whooping, hollering, and belching. Take some home and use it on the children. Can be baked into cookies, too. Closeout: 9¢ per 1-quart carton Magic Lamps ----------- Ever dream of genie? Now you can own one! Just rub this quality brass oil lamp three times and POOF!, an obedient genie appears, eager to do your bidding! A must for anyone in a pickle. These lamps where purchased from a friend of a friend. He gave us his word that these lamps are top quality. Paper bag full of assorted watches included free with each purchase. Sold "AS IS." No returns. 1-wish model: 1 million samoulians 3-wish model: 2 million samoulians Seltzer bottle -------------- Make a splash at your next party! This supercharged seltzer bottle uses our patented ingredient and shoots up to 250 feet! Blast your Toon across the room! Soak some sucker at a shindig! Bottle can be recharged again and again. Liquidation price: 19¢ - recharge: 7¢ (allow 3 days) Shrinking Potion ---------------- Shrink your appetite - or the nearest Toon - with this magical elixir. Developed by a Monrovian headhunter, this potion is a blend of the smallest herbs, roots, and spices in the world. One gulp will make a Toon shrink to 1/10th normal size. Two gulps and you'll need a microscope to see him! Drastically reduced: 3-oz bottle: 3¢ 9-oz bottle: 4¢ Bear Trap --------- Works on giraffes, kangaroos, rabbits, squirrels, flies, elephants, horses, llamas, cats, mother-in-law, cows, skunks, hyenas, turkeys, little brothers, camels, snails, toads, moles, buffaloes, zebras, dragons, bats, monkeys, spiders, squids, caterpillars, manta rays, dinosaurs, buzzards, oysters, peacocks, wombats, lions, tigers, and bears, oh my! Comes complete with a chain and anchor spike. Closeout: 99¢ Rocket Rollerskates ------------------- Get ready for high-speed high jinks with these super-fast skates! Powered by nitroglycerine, these skates travel faster than a speeding bullet! Great for catching up to locomotives or breaking the sound barrier. Now only: $1.19 X-Ray Glasses ------------- These high-quality lenses are made from the finest Visulonium available. Sturdy yet fashionable frames are made from crushproof turtle shell. See through clothing (wow!), walls, even vault doors. Handy "depth" adjustment knob makes for easy see-through viewing. Can also be used as sunglasses. Not effective on lead. Clearance price: 45¢ Curve ball ---------- Throw your Toons a curve! No ballpark prankster can do without this wandering wonder! Handmade by angry Australians.The curve mechanism inside is guaranteed for life. Only: 76¢ Giant Magnet ------------ Get the magnetic personality you've always wanted! Our iron magnets are guaranteed to be the strongest in the world. They can attract any metal object from over 8 miles away. So versatile they can be used to remove fillings, or even pull flying saucers out of the sky. Painted "rustproof red" for year-round use. BONUS: free 10-lb. sack of metal pellets included. Can be put in bird seed or other Toon foods. A steal at: $4.29 Propeller Beanie ---------------- Your friends will think you've flipped your lid whey you tell 'em your going out for a stroll - 5,000 feet up! One twist of the prop and your flying like a hummingbird! Great for buzzing sidewalks during rush hour or sneaking up on window-washers! Propeller is good for 10,000 revolutions, after which it's pancake city. Priced to move: $1.14 (please specify hat size when ordering) Perma-slip Banana peels ----------------------- These tasty bananas have been specially treated with perma-slip peel coating. Just eat the banana, toss the peel, and watch your friends slip and slide! It will remain slippery for days, guaranteed. Now only: 3¢ a bunch Fine Print ---------- Weasel out of any deal with this innovative idea direct from the famous law offices of Dewey, Cheadem, and Howe. Available on gummed paper, find print can easily be added to any contract - no matter how old. The print is so fine that it can only be read with a microscope. Double-talk mombo-jumbo specially written by Judge Doom. 1 box of gummed sheets, 100 count. Minuscule print: 79¢ Man-eating plant ---------------- Fertilize these feisty ferns with noisy neighbors or unwelcome relatives. Dionadea muscipula giganticus, grown only in the deepest jungles of Cucamonga, towers over 23 feet high. Given a chance, it will messily devour a full-grown man in less than a minute. Also produces delightfully scented flowers in the spring. Available in handy "Quick-gro" seed packs, or fully grown in sturdy terra-cotta pots. Seeds grow to full size in just hours. Pack of seeds: 6¢ Plant: $2.49 (shipped by rail) Glasses with Springy Eyeballs ----------------------------- Get a look at these peepers. We don't know why, but our glasses always get a laugh - even out of the most sullen sourpusses. Great for office parties and visits with people you just don't see eye-to-eye with. Truly the epitome of dangling eyeware, models come in blue, brown, hazel, or bloodshot eyes. On sale: 33¢ Magic Carpet ------------ Hand-embroidered in Baghdad, this rug is so decorative you'll want two - one to fly, and one for your living room! Operated with simple incantations, this carpet flies like a dream. Includes instructions printer on a parchment scroll. Guaranteed for 12,000 miles or 12 washings, whichever comes first. 6X9 feet: $9.00 - 12X12 feet: $12.00 Cream Pies ---------- These pies have the perfect combination of taste and throwability. Can be hurled up to 50 yards, or even farther when launched with our giant slingshot. Unlike our competition's pies, these have an exclusive face-seeking feature. Several delicious flavors available. Banana Cream, Lemon Cream, Coconut Cream, Succotash Cream Bargain price: $2.50 per baker's dozen Gun With A "BANG!" ------------------ Get trigger-happy! Realistic looking revolver will scare them silly - until they see the flag pop out. Shoot, folks, it's a blast! Blowout price: 20¢