0 ruby 15 0 1 0 274 0 22 pearl 8 0 1 0 274 0 47 pearl 8 0 1 0 274 0 72 pearl 8 0 1 0 274 0 97 pearl 8 0 1 0 274 0 *!EOM 108 1518Y00F04ruby15Y00J1NAdrian's Expectations - A Modern Day Epic 1501NPart I - The Ballad of Adrian W'hore 1218Y00F04ruby12Y00C4N 1201NJude & Melee 0824Y00F05pearl08Y00C1Y00J0N 0801NAdrian W'hore was brushing his teeth with a brush. Smearing the teeth lightly 0801Nhe smoothed the creamy white mixture off, on, off and then closed his jaw. He 0801Nrinsed the contents of his mouth. He was just about to flanel his shoulders 0801Nwhen all of a sudden his mother entered and STOLE his pants. "Bitch fucking 0801Nshit muthafucker - I need those" 0801N"In a minute dear, I need them for father" 0801N"Shit!". Adrian sticks on a dress of his sisters so he wouldn`t be caught, 0801NNAKED in the home. 0801NAs a christian Adrian was strongly advocated a non-usage of FOUL language and 0811Y12C5Y21C1Nmade it his PERSONNAL quest to rid his high school of this degrading and 0801Nunpleasant verbal excrament. He had been commended by the head (up against a 0801Nwall) for his moral crusade against luidness. "Bloody good job sonny", said 0801Nthe head. "I always give a good job, probably start by biting off more than 0811Y47C6Y52C1NI can chew", claimed Adrian, "but siiiiir, you SWORE" 0801N"I fucking didn't" 0801N"Never mind", replied the young, rosey faced, tender youth, to his kindly 0801Nmentor. 0811Y01C2Y38C1N"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING" 0801N"Errr. Sorry, I was caught, unaware" 0801N"Well take it off and wear your own dress" 0801NBack in his room the swift change to his own attire(it wasn`t a dress, in 0801Nfact is was a pair of ironed-down-the-crease jeans and string vest under 0801Nhis brown jumper and matching blazer). 0851Y01C2Y04C3Y07C4Y10C5Y13C6Y16C5Y19C4Y22C3Y25C2Y29C1N"BBBRRREEEAAAKKKFFFAAASSSTTTT" 0801NAdrian started off down the stairs but tripped on his sister foot, Adrian 0801Nfell, making a sound that is only ever heard in the deepest of jungles. 0801NAdrian lay, motionless in a pile at the foot of the stairs. 0801NHe untangled himself, stood rigid and proceeded to scrape the dust from his 0811Y25C5Y44C1Ncollision from the knee. Forgeting breakfast he decided to head off for 0801Nschool, in a vain atempt to see if he could beat the caretaker there first. 0801NAll challenges fascinated Ade and he once raced his mothers car to IKEA in 0801Na vain attempt to jump her in the pine shelving department. He managed to 0801Njog the 40 miles first, but apon arrival he jumped a large beefy chap by 0801Nmistake. The man was noot impressed, but Ade made the best of the situation 0801Nby taking the man (Ivans) address and so forth began a series of regular 0801Nletters between Adrian and the 54 year old truck driver. Another similar 0801Nincident occured when he followed his dad to work. On this occasion his dad 0801Ntook a different route and they ended up meeting in a Soho porn shop. Again 0801NAde made the best of the situation and purchased a whip and blow up doll as 0801Nbirthday presents for his mum and gran. Ade was just a happy go lucky kinda 0801Nguy. 0801NDown the street he met the night watchman, just begining his round. 0801N"Morning" 0801N"In a couple of hours lad" 0801NAde and the nightwatchman had known each other since Adrian had started 0801Nhigh school, they had a kind of one-way relationship, where Ade did all the 0801Ntalking, sent Christmas cards and other gifts, the nightwatchman just threw 0801Nthem away and never had a second thought about Ade. 0801NBy the time Ade had reached school (only a mere 2 miles and a trek through 0801Na small mudpile) the milkman had just delivered the fresh-from-the-dairy 0801Nmilk(for the teachers). Ade decided that following the milk float as it made 0801Nits local rounds would be both educational and a good bit of exercise. It 0801Nwas about 5:30 am when the milk float, and Ade had reached 53 Bitly Lane, the 0801Nmilkman picked up a couple of pints and went to the door, Ade however was 0801Nfeeling a bit tired and decided to sit on the float. Ade looked around and 0801Nnoticed a crate of yogurt pots, "A creamy meal!", cried Ade. He reached out 0801Nfor the pot and opened the seal, "Ohhh. no spoon. I know I`ll just drink it 0801Nstraight out". Ade proceeded to drink out of the pot, not realising that 0811Y29C3Y54C1Nevery gulp he made, a bit of white, creamy yogurt fell, and was staining his 0801Npants. Ade threw the pot away and started to walk back to school, still 0801Nhoping that he would beat the caretaker. 0801NAdrian finally reached the tall steel bars that surrounded the school. He had 0801Ndone it, he had actually beat the caretaker, after all these years of trying. 0801NHmmm, now he had a problem, nothing to do for a bit, so he decided to try and 0801Nseek temperory accomidation in somebodies house for a bit. He arrived at the 0801Nnearest house rang the door bell. old woman answers. 0801N"Hello elderly woman, I am Adrian W'hore, or knob to my friends and I seek 0801Nrefuge in your pad. I beat the caretaker." The elderly woman slammed the door 0801Nshut, just as Ade was entering and he was unlucky to catch the left leg of 0801Nhis pants in the door. They ripped down one side and flapped about in the 0801Nwind, making it so you could see his sister's lacey knickers that he had 0801Naccidently ommited to remove and return to the dirty washing basket. He 0801Nlooked a bit of a state as the police car that the old woman had called 0801Narrived. Down one side of his pants he had creamy white dairy produce and 0801Nthe other side there was merely flapping material. The police arrested him, 0801Nsent him down the station and after an hour in a cell he was let of lightly 0801Nand set up on a charge of possession of narcotics, the trial to take place 0801Nin 4 months. in the mean time he had to report into the station every day. 0801NArriving back at the school the other kids where just arriving. 0801N"I see I came first again knob", taunted the caretaker. 0801N"No I did beat you!", screamed Ade. The other kids picked up his cries and 0801Nspread it around the school that Mr Anderson the caretaker and "knob" had a 0801Nstrange affair going, which involved heavy use of bondage implements. 0801N"Sigh, I suppose I just have to accept a few jests", laughed Ade. The other 0801Nkids just laughed and shouted and called him "bent knob" and "chains and 0801Nleather girl". 0826Y29C4Y33C1Y36C4Y41C1Y43C2N"Look you people, I am not a knob or shit, I AM A W`HORE, have you got that!" 0806Y43C1NShouted Ade, "I AM A W`HORE, I AM A W`HORE". Ade proceeded to shout 0801Nthis as he walked down the administration area of school, raising the 0801Neyebrows of a teacher or two. 0801NThe bell rang for the start of the first lesson, this was Ades favorite 0801Nlesson, as it gave him a challange, that lesson was Maths. 0801N"Sit down boys and girls and knob" shouted the teaher over the noise of the 0801Npupils. Everyone slowly took their place. The Maths teacher was known as 0801Nbeing a `bit odd' by the pupils due to his tastes in music and TV 0801Nprogrammes. 0801N"There`ll be no more verbel intercourse between anyone for the next half an 0801Nhour becuase today we are having a test" 0821Y01C6Y08C1Y11C6Y32C1N"Oh shit","Fuck off its to early" muttured the class. Ade on the otherhand 0801Nwas both pleased and excited by the thought of going a full half an hour 0801Nwith the teacher on just one thing. 0801N 0801N *!EOF