TF01 3,Of Two Minds - Part 2 4,by Laura Cooksey From: lauranerf@aol.com (LauraNerf) Subject: Of Two Minds Part 2 of 4 Date: 1 Dec 1994 11:15:12 -0500 Laura Cooksey LauraNerf@aol.com Characters copyright 1994 Paramount Pictures, All Rights Reserved The author welcomes comments at her e-mail address. Any resemblance to any person, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Do not back up. Severe tire damage may result. This story is set during the first season of Deep Space Nine. Part 2 of 4 STAR TREK: DEEP SPACE NINE ---------------------------- "Of Two Minds" - Part 2 ------------------------- by Laura Cooksey ------------------ The next three days were, mercifully, uneventful for all involved. Most of Shayin's time had been consumed by meetings with Sisko and Kira, and with other Federation and Bajoran representatives, on such mundane topics as trade agreements and free passage treaties. Julian had given her tours of the station, in his free-time, including a visit to Ops on her second day. She had also worked with Jadzia and Chief O'Brien on putting the data she had brought with her into the station's computers, and had even had dinner with Sisko and his son Jake. On Shayin's fourth day on DS9, Julian was on his lunch break, walking through the Promenade, when he saw her sitting at a table outside of a small Bajoran restaurant. She was reading one computer plaque, and making notes on a second one that lay on the table. Her antennae waved lazily over her head. As Julian approached, she removed her feet from the other chair and pushed it out a bit for him. A few seconds later she said without looking up, "Hello, Julian. Please have a seat. I'll be with you in a moment. I'm working on the docking rights for Federation ships at Adjani stations. The terms proposed by Sisko look quite fair for both parties, but I wanted to go over them again." She made a few more entries on her computer and turned off both plaques. Then she looked up at him. "You are amused. What's funny?" she asked. "I was just surprised that you picked me out of the crowd milling through the Promenade." She smiled. "If you hadn't been coming over to talk to me, I probably wouldn't have. When you started thinking about me, I felt your attention. Plus, the damper is turned down low -- it isn't that crowded today." "I thought you were supposed to be in a meeting with one of the Bajoran negotiators." Shayin nodded once, practicing human body language. "His child was ill, so he stayed on-planet. I was going to see if you wanted to move our appointment from tomorrow to today." He thought about it briefly. "That would be fine for me, but I'll have to check with Jadzia." "Oh. Is she going to be there?" "She told me she'd like to be, unless that's a problem." Shayin shifted in her chair. "No, of course not. It's just that, well, she makes me dizzy." Julian laughed and leaned forward conspiratorially. "You have my sympathy. She has the same effect on me." Shayin frowned and thought about that for a few seconds. "Oh, I understand. I meant telepathically, but she affects me that way as well." Julian was a little taken aback by this development, but Shayin continued, "Trust me. I have no intention of vying with you for her affections." "At this point, I'm lucky to get her attention, much less her affection. But that's a story for another time. I'll see if this afternoon is good for her. Let's say, 1300 hours, unless I tell you otherwise?" "That will be fine." Shayin looked down at the table and her antennae fluttered nervously. "Julian, could I talk to you about something personal?" *Uh, oh,* he thought. She smiled. "It isn't that bad. I just need a little insight from an outside source." "Is something wrong?" "I've never felt attracted to someone of an alien species before. I have several good friends who are not Adjani, but I've never felt sexual desire for any of them. There are many aliens, both on the Sirangar and then here on DS9, that look so much like my people that I find myself relating to them as if they were of my species. "I don't know if I'm explaining this clearly. I'm used to dealing with sentient beings of other species as equals, but also as _others_. I keep finding myself responding to Terrans and Bajorans as if they were clan or kin. Or worse, with Jadzia, there is an element of physical attraction that's only grown stronger the more I try to figure out why it exists at all. It's making me uncomfortable. It's not natural. "Not to be deliberately offensive, but it wouldn't be much worse if I woke up one morning and found myself daydreaming about domesticated herd animals." She looked up at him to gauge his reaction. "I never thought of it like that. I see what you mean, of course, but many of us in the Federation grew up around members of other humanoid species. We think of each other as people, not so much as human or Bajoran or Trill." "It's easy to make an abstract statement of tolerance and equality, Julian, but it's different when it's _me_. I can't help what I'm feeling, but I don't understand it, and I don't think I like it." She paused, then continued more softly, "Julian, Jadzia doesn't smell right, she doesn't feel quite right to me telepathically. And, yet... It isn't that I want to be sexually intimate with her now, but I do feel attracted." She hesitated. "You find her sexually attractive, too. That's never bothered you?" He shook his head. "Not in the least. I've never seen any reason to question whom I was attracted to. It just happens. Your subconscious and your body decide and your mind follows along. It's just one of those things." He shrugged. "Jadzia is beautiful, intelligent, charming, brave, exotic: What's not to like?" Shayin looked down at the table again, antennae twitching. "Julian, I know your people don't usually talk about such intimate matters, but have you ever actually had a sexual relationship with a non-human?" "I thought we might get around to that question." He laughed. "Yes, Shayin, I have, a few times." Her antennae stopped moving and she looked up into his eyes for a long time. Julian could feel her studying him intensely and wondered how much she could see. Then she turned away, massaging the root of her antennae with a fingertip. "It doesn't bother you, not at all. I guess I'll just have get used to the feelings or hope they go away." "Don't give up too easily," he said, without much enthusiasm. Shayin radiated humor. "You don't mean that." He smiled. "I guess I don't." "You don't have anything to worry about, Julian. I've no intention of pursuing Jadzia. The last thing I need to do is compete with my one good friend in the Alpha Quadrant for the attention of someone with two brains who's about eight times older than I am. It makes my antennae ache just to think about it. That's a colloquialism," she added, not wanting Julian to take that last part seriously. She tucked her antennae neatly into her hair. "I also want to thank you, Julian, for sharing your thoughts with me. I feel a little better, knowing how you feel about it." "You're welcome. I'm glad I could help," he said. She gathered up her belongings. "'I'll see you at 1300, then?" "Yes. See you then, Shayin." About an hour later, Shayin walked into the infirmary. Nurse Ridel, a Bajoran, greeted her and pointed her toward an examining room. The door opened and she saw Julian and Dax inside. "Hello, Shayin, we're almost ready for you," Dax said. "Hello, Shayin." "Jadzia, Julian. Where shall we begin?" "Have a seat on the examining table." Shayin put her shoulder bag down on the floor near the head of the table. "Doctor's offices seem to be a universal constant." "You seem nervous," said Dax, as Shayin stepped up onto the table. "She does?" asked Julian. "Of course, Julian. Look how tense her antennae are." Shayin smiled slightly and took a deep breath, relaxing visibly. She shook her head and her antennae lifted up above the top of her hair. "I am a little nervous," she admitted. "Nothing to be nervous about," soothed Julian. "I thought we'd start with a general checkup and then do some specific neurological tests." He flipped open his tricorder, lifted out the remote sensor and began scanning. Shayin watched, curious, as he passed the sensor over her body. "It isn't the exam I'm nervous about, Jadzia. It's you." "Me?" "I've read a little about the Trill the last few days. You were an adult when you accepted your symbiont, correct?" "Yes." "And you still possess all the memories of your life before that point?" Jadzia nodded. "So, you have memories of your individual adult life, and memories from the previous host body of your symbiont, which overlap by more than twenty years. Two sets of memories from two different lives for the same period of time, but both are yours." "That makes you nervous?" Jadzia said sympathetically. "Yes, very. It makes you quite strange to me. What also makes me nervous is feeling attracted to you, when you are so alien." "Shayin, how am I supposed to get good readings when your pulse and respiration are fluctuating?" Julian complained, trying to ignore the rest of the conversation. "Why are you attracted to me, if I'm so different?" "So much about you does seem familiar. Your form, your voice. How to put this in your language? The basic shape of your mental patterns -- what I would call *shebinra*, your aura -- is familiar. But other aspects of your mind are very alien. Part of the attraction, I've decided, is this unknown, the alien aspects, the -- what was the word you used, Julian? -- the exotic." "Exotic?" Jadzia was clearly amused. Julian winced. Shayin nodded once. "Yes, I was discussing this with him earlier, but I think he'd really rather I hadn't mentioned it. Sorry, Julian." She paused for a moment, thoughtful. "I'm also beginning to suspect there is something much more mundane to my feelings. Ah, why didn't I see that before?" "What is it?" Jadzia asked. "You remind me of my ex-wife. I just this instant figured that out." She looked distracted, and her antennae twitched. "Your hair color and height, and the tone of your emotions. Strange." "Is that good or bad?" Shayin focused on Jadzia. "Pardon?" "That I remind you of her." Shayin seemed amused. "Well, it's no wonder I've been so unnerved. I'll have to think about this." Jadzia grinned. "That's okay. We can talk about it later, if you like." "Yes. Yes, I would like that. It might help me work some of it out. Thank you." Julian completed his exam without further incident. He brought his medical sensor back to the right side of Shayin's chest a couple of times, then switched it off. "Do you have any medical problems? Your pulmonary readings are a little low, compared to the averages in the data you provided." "You'll have to explain to me how that thing works. The readings are probably off because of an injury I suffered about eight years ago. I was shot with a projectile weapon and my right lung was punctured. It healed cleanly and I don't have any problems with it now." "May I examine it more closely?" By way of answer, she pulled her shirt off. She paused, the shirt bunched up around her arms. "There aren't any taboos against nudity, are there?" "Not in your doctor's office," Julian said. Shayin dropped her shirt and undershirt onto her bag. She looked athletic, with small breasts and a well-toned figure. There was a large scar below her right breast, where the skin was darker than elsewhere, the color of wildflower honey, and slightly sunken. "That's the exit wound," she explained. She turned away from Julian so he could see her back, where there was a smaller similar scar. "This is the entrance wound. The slug caught me between the ribs." Julian probed each wound gently with his fingers. "What happened?" asked Dax. "Anti-telepath fanatics on my second job with the Adjani Ambassador to Rhik, our closest neighboring system. Ordinarily, the Rhik are very reasonable people, but these were afraid we were going to steal their souls, or take their minds over, or something comparable." The medical sensor purred in Julian's hand as he worked. "You're lucky to be alive." "The rest of the staff got me back to our ship quickly. I'm *Anjin*, warrior cult. We're pretty tough. But, I'll admit you're right about luck." "Let's start the neurological tests. You can get dressed." While she put her shirt back on, Julian turned and picked up four small sensor disks. He turned back and stepped toward Shayin. Her arm shot out and she grabbed him by the wrist. She held him that way for a split second, her antennae focused on him. Then she let go. "I'm sorry, Julian. You startled me." "That was amazing. I've never seen anyone react so quickly," Julian exclaimed. He picked up his tricorder. "Do that again." "Throw a punch at me." Julian hesitated, but Jadzia obliged, moving in from Shayin's left. Shayin caught her fist easily, and let it go a moment later. Julian studied the readings, puzzled. "Your reaction time is very low, but your nervous system isn't quick enough to account for it." But as he guessed what he was seeing, he nodded. "You're just anticipating what someone else is about to do. Quite amazing." Shayin ran her fingers through her long hair. "What were you doing?" He held up one of the disks. "These are sensors I'd like to attach to your forehead so we can record your brain activity. I'll be wearing them also." Dax replied, "If you could send and receive information from Julian for a few minutes while I take the readings, that would be fine." "Certainly," Shayin said. She closed her eyes for a moment, then opened them and removed her necklace, laying it carefully on the end of the table. Her antennae stretched upward, then relaxed, and a sense of Shayin's presence filled the room. In answer to their questioning looks she said, "I am aware of the two of you, the nurse and two medical techs and a patient in the infirmary, a couple of people in the next office over," she pointed to the wall, "and vague numbers of others beyond that. I'll be fine for a few minutes, but this many people would be a problem for longer than, say, a couple of hours." Dax nodded and walked across the room, watched appreciatively by both Shayin and Bashir. She sat down behind a console. Shayin turned to Bashir. "Have you ever had telepathic contact before?" "In a couple of classes at Starfleet Academy, and Starfleet Medical School." "Good. The results will be clearer if we are touching." She held out her hands and clasped his wrists, and looked up into his eyes. Suddenly, Julian wasn't alone inside his head. Her antennae waved high in the air, and he smelled flowers. He saw through her eyes a memory of her childhood, a park filled with fragrant flowers, blue and yellow. She was scarcely taller than the flowers in the field and she ran wildly through them. It was more vivid, more intense, than some of his own memories. The scene changed, and Shayin was competing in some sort of telepathic test, or contest. It was so far outside anything he knew that Julian couldn't make much out of it. Shayin tried something more familiar. Her first trip off Adjan, to one of the space-stations orbiting her home world. Free-fall for the very first time! But, sadness, too. Her marriage of ten years had just ended, and she had sought work at the station to get away from the pain. Not that the distance helped. Julian felt very sympathetic, remembering the time he lost his first patient. He had been devastated, and furious. It might have been easier if he'd done something wrong. But he hadn't. The man had just slipped away and there hadn't been anything he could do about it. His throat constricted and suddenly he was alone inside his head again. The abrupt shift in reality threw him off balance physically, and his knees gave out. Shayin caught his arm and jumped down off the table, holding him up until he steadied himself. Julian could sense that she was very upset at what had happened. "Julian?" Dax sounded alarmed. He waved his hand at her to indicate he was okay. He couldn't speak yet. Shayin sent to him, full of concern and compassion. She was surprised and a little angry at herself for invading his privacy. "Things got a little out of control, Dax. Our species are much closer alike than I had suspected. Our contact was far easier than I anticipated, and more intimate than I intended. Julian has an amazing amount of mental energy." He shook his head, still a little shaken. "Here. Let me show you something more pleasant," she said. Her antennae flipped forward and she touched his face with the fingertips of her right hand. She was awake early. The station was filled with excitement, and she rushed out of her apartment and down the hall toward a large gathering in a common room, wondering what was happening. Dozen of theories flew from mind to mind; the whole station was awash in speculation, but as she hit the door the mood quieted down. On a large viewscreen on one wall was a picture of a ship moving into orbit around Adjan. An _unknown_ class of ship! A new species! The excitement was almost too much to bear, and when she heard her name called over the intercom, she ran to her supervisor's office, knowing she would be among the first to make contact with the aliens. Julian responded to her excitement, and thought of his graduation from Starfleet Medical School. He was near the top of his class and missed much of the commencement address thinking about which posting on the frontiers of Federation space he should ask for. He looked up into the crowd and found his parents. They were so proud of him, he really had done his very best and look where it had gotten him! Shayin eased out of contact with him more gently this time, her antennae fluttering contentedly. It felt to him like she was laughing, so he laughed, too. He still felt like he needed to sit down, though. Shayin's presence surrounded him, familiar now, examining him closely. She seemed satisfied that he was okay, and put her damper back on. Julian lost the sensation of her presence, and felt suddenly alone, isolated. He took a deep breath before speaking. "Did you get all of that?" he asked Dax. "Yes, from both of you. Julian, you look like you could use some rest." "I think you're right." He sat down in a chair near her console. Shayin removed the neural sensors from her forehead and handed them to Julian. She picked up her bag and took a step toward the door. "Fatigue is a normal reaction. I think I'll leave the two of you to absorb and analyze the experience. Julian." She rested her hand on his shoulder for a moment. "Good-bye, Jadzia. If either of you have any questions, I'll be in my quarters." "Thank you, Shayin," Dax said as Shayin walked out of the room. "Extraordinary," Julian whispered to himself. He peeled off his neural sensors and turned to Dax. "Let me see those readings." ********** Julian woke suddenly, feeling disoriented. However, nothing seemed out of place in his bedroom; no unusual noises, nothing. It was odd. Usually he was a sound sleeper. "Computer, what time is it?" "The time is oh-four-thirty-five." "Computer, lights." He felt wide awake, and knew he might as well get up and get dressed, as there was no point trying to go back to sleep now. He was putting his boots on when his communicator chimed. At quarter to five in the morning? Even more odd. "Dr. Bashir here." "I'm sorry to wake you, doctor, but there is a medical emergency. The Adjani ambassador has been injured." It was Odo. Julian was on his feet and headed across the room for his medical kit as he replied, "Where and how badly?" "Near her quarters. She's lost a lot of blood." "On my way. Notify the infirmary and Commander Sisko. Bashir out." Commander Sisko was already there when Julian arrived on the scene. Shayin was lying on the floor, her cream-colored pants and shirt soaked with bright pink blood from an abdominal wound, her long gray hair matted with it. One of the Bajoran security people knelt on the floor next to her, applying pressure to the wound. While he was in the turbolift, Julian had re-calibrated his tricorder against Shayin's readings from the previous day. He knelt next to her and did a quick scan. "Doctor?" Sisko asked. "It doesn't look fatal, Commander, but it's serious," Julian answered. "That's good, keep the pressure up just like that," he said to the security officer. Then he noticed. "Where's her telepathic damper? The ambassador's silver necklace?" "I don't know, sir. She was like this when we found her, except that she was lying face down rather than on her back." He looked over his shoulder toward Shayin's quarters, about ten meters down the corridor. "Odo!" Odo's head appeared through the open doorway. "Yes, Doctor." "The ambassador's necklace is missing, her telepathic damper, and it's imperative you find it before she regains consciousness." He thought for a second, then continued, "She probably was carrying a spare one in her luggage." "I'll check, Doctor." Julian continued his exam, finding a deep puncture wound, three broken ribs, and a number of more minor injuries. Shayin was beginning to show some signs of regaining consciousness. Julian explained the situation to Commander Sisko, adding, "We should move her to the most remote location possible, perhaps one of the docking pylons. She's liable to react very badly mentally to this kind of physical shock." "Agreed." He tapped his comunicator, contacting the watch officer in Ops. "Lt. Duran, which docking pylons are currently unoccupied?" "Number two upper pylon and number three lower pylon are available, sir." "Move number two upper pylon from the available list to the maintenance list and notify any personnel in the pylon that they must leave immediately. Allow access to the pylon only on the authority of personnel with security clearance seven or higher." Sisko tapped his communicator to close the channel. To Julian he added, "I'll have Odo seal the station." A medical team had arrived from the infirmary, and Julian sprayed a quick bandage over Shayin's puncture wound so they could move her onto the gurney they had brought. One of the technicians powered it up, and it levitated it to waist height. "You two go back to the infirmary and stand-by. The fewer people around when she comes to, the better. I'll call you if I need help. "Commander, tell Odo to bring the damper to me as soon as he finds it." "Yes, doctor. Keep us informed." "Yes, sir." He pushed the gurney into the nearest turbolift. "Number two upper docking pylon. Authorization, Dr. Julian Bashir." The doors closed. Julian routed access to the medical computers to the terminal nearest the docking port at the top of the pylon, and continued his tricorder scan. When the turbolift stopped and the doors opened, he pushed the gurney down the corridor toward the public terminal station and angled it to get the best light. He cut away Shayin's shirt to better expose the wound. She stirred, grimacing. Her antennae were pulled tightly against her head. "Ambassador Mazjad? Shayin, can you hear me?" She grunted and turned her head away from him. "How could I not hear you? Your brain is too loud." She put her right hand to her throat, to adjust her damper, then tried to lever herself up to a sitting position. "Lie still, you've been injured. Your damper is missing." She realized that fact about the time he said it. Her eyes went wide and she put her hand on his arm. There was an overwhelming presence of her inside his head for an instant. *Shock, comprehension, despair!* Her hand dropped away, and her head sagged against the gurney. "No wonder you're so loud. I was attacked, stunned." Julian nodded, working on the temporary bandage, which was oozing pink around one edge. "Phaser blast, I'd guess. You were stabbed, too, and you've lost a lot of blood." "This is bad. I can't concentrate. I can't block you out of my mind." Her voice was flat, but he sensed her panic. "Your nervous system hasn't recovered from the shock yet. We're as far away from everyone else as I could get, in one of the docking pylons." She put her hand over her forehead and struggled to concentrate. "Good. Good thinking. I have another damper, in my hard case. And a medical kit, too. There are anesthetics and antibiotics in it. I'll probably need both. It's starting to hurt." Bashir slapped his communicator, leaving a pink streak across the silver and gold metal. "Bashir to Sisko." "Sisko here." "Commander, the ambassador is conscious, and confirms she has a spare damper in her hard case, and a medical kit as well." "Bad news, doctor," came Odo's voice. "The ambassador's hard case is missing. Whoever attacked her must have broken into her quarters. The lock's been phasered through. That set off an alarm, which is why we were down here in the first place and found her." Shayin shook her head violently and grabbed Julian's arm with her left hand. She grimaced at the pressure that put on her broken ribs, but held on tightly. "I have to have something else to concentrate on besides you and my injuries, or I'm not going to make it. I feel like I'm falling into a hole. Everything keeps swimming in and out of focus in my head." Julian could feel her mind spinning and the mere echo of the sensation made him queasy. "I could use cortical stimulators to make you sleep, to suppress the pain." She let go of him, horrified. "No. Absolutely not. My mind is scrambled badly enough now." "I don't like the idea either. I don't know enough about your species. But we may not have a choice. You're still bleeding and I need to get it stopped. How much more pain can you stand if I can't give you any anesthetic?" Shayin closed her eyes and took a ragged breath. "Ordinarily I have a very high pain tolerance. But this is much worse than the time I was shot; I still had a damper then, and my companions were with me. I'm not certain I can cope with this if it gets any worse." "You need something to concentrate on, you said. What about some_one_? Like Jadzia? You said her mind was very quiet." "Orderly," she corrected. "I don't know. I'm projecting a lot right now. I'd hate to deliberately subject anyone else to what I'm going through. But I have little choice." Julian nodded. "I can get the bleeding stopped, but I can't repair your internal injuries without taking you to the infirmary." "I don't know how long I would last around that many people in this condition." "That's what I thought. It wouldn't be safe." Shayin made a deep growling noise. "Not for me or for you, if I lose any more control. You do not want to be around a delirious, projecting telepath. If we can't recover one of my dampers, I might not last long even if you can treat the wound. But we have to try." A wave of pain washed over her and she swallowed hard. "All right, Julian, I'll try to work with Lt. Dax. Only if she volunteers, however. She has to understand the risks." "Commander Sisko?" Julian inquired. "We'll take care of it, doctor." "Computer, display a schematic of the Adjani circulatory system, lower left quadrant of the torso." The image came up on the terminal screen, and he studied it for a few seconds. "Match Medical database entries for anesthetics and antiseptics against Adjani metabolism data and list the top five entries in each category by safety and efficacy," Julian continued. He wiped some of the blood off of his hands onto his uniform, then took a bottle out of the medical kit. He sprayed disinfectant on Shayin's exposed skin and on his hands, then put on a pair of gloves. Shayin hissed as some of the chemical seeped into her wound. The list Julian requested came up on the screen below the previous display. None of the drugs had a safety rating of more than eighty percent. He couldn't risk using any of them away from the resources in the infirmary, in case she had a reaction to one or both types of medication. "Damn," he muttered under his breath.