TF01 3,Jim Davidson - Interviewed! 4,by Simon Plumbe 41 year-old comedian Jim Davidson has been quite open about his love and appreciation for Star Trek. While recently appearing at the now- closed Kings Theatre nightclub in Birmingham on 28th and 29th March, Simon Plumbe went along to see him for a chat about the influence that Trek has had on his life... (For those of you who know about his stand-up comedy routine, you'll have a good idea what to expect in this interview. Please note - some of the language in this interview is somewhat stronger than that normally found in The Final Frontier.) SIMON - How long have you been a Star Trek fan? JIM - I can remember sort of discovering it... I would be about 19, maybe before that. Ever since I can remember. I mean, I can't remember it suddenly coming on, I just always remember it being there. About 17 I guess, 17 years of age. SIMON - How did you first get introduced to Star Trek? JIM - It just used to come on, didn't it? And I remember that one series had finished and then everyone would be miserable, and then it would come back on again and it would be great. And then I thought that I was the only one that liked this. I think this is why I loved it so much because I thought I'd discovered it and I could tell others about it - show off as if it was my little baby. And then there was a public outcry - people wrote to the newspapers demanding that Star Trek be shown again and it was. I thought, "Wow, everyone else likes it!", and it's nice to be involved in something everyone else likes. It's great. SIMON - Which Star Trek series do you prefer and why? JIM - Next Generation. I think The Next Generation because it's slightly more real, there's more money spent on it. I think it's because I'm older now as well and I get alot out of what it teaches. SIMON - What about a favourite episode? JIM - "Family". I like "Family" best. It's a three-parter really, isn't it, but that last episode, "Family", had everything in it for me, absolutely everything right to that little shooting star at the end. What's he doing out there? Oh, the hairs on my head standing up now as I even think about it! It's excellent. There are some very good ones. I like "Time's Arrow", and I liked the one that Doctor Crusher directed... SIMON - "Genesis"? JIM - Was that the one where she was playing with the Scottish ghost? SIMON - The one she directed was the one where they all de-evolved, "Genesis". JIM - Oh that's right, yeah. Who directed the one with the Scottish... SIMON - I think that was Gabrielle Beaumont, the other woman director, but I'm not too sure about that. And about the films. Any favourite out of those? JIM - No, I like them all. I haven't watched them as often as I've watched the others. I mean, I've now got them in widescreen and I've built a Dolby Surround system at home so I can sit and really get into it. The films I would say... I think "The Wrath Of Khan". When that first came out I thought, "This is amazing, this is really good." Like the silent submarine fight, you know, the two ships together, and I just thought that Ricardo Montalban was fantastic, really good. SIMON - Sticking with the films, with "Generations", how did you feel about Kirk getting killed off? JIM - Very sad, wasn't it. I cried my eyes out. I introduced them all at the Empire [for the premiere in London], you know, actually introduced all the actors - I was cacking myself! I remember going back and sat next to the wife and another comedian who's a big fan... SIMON - George Marshall? JIM - George, yeah. Well, I got him involved in it really. He realised I was a fan and suddenly came out of the closet in some kind of style and I got him an invite to the premiere. And I came off stage and I grabbed him and I was really up, and then of course he met all the actors later on and started doing impressions of them to them - because he can do the lot of them, you know. He's doing my summer season in Great Yarmouth at the Wellington Theatre - he's working for me and I've put a laser in there specially so he can beam himself on. About Kirk dying, well I don't know. I read something in the paper about he shouldn't really die because it doesn't make the storyline quite true. Actors are actors, they can't last forever, you know, and I think he died quite well. The shock that, "Oh god, I'm going to die here!" - I thought that was quite good. I got a letter from a fan bollocking me saying, "Fancy saying in the papers that Kirk died." and I wrote back saying, "You're the only fan in the world who DIDN'T know he was going to die!". I met Patrick Stewart afterwards - he was charming - and it really was a great day for me, I didn't know what to do, because I know Marina Sirtis - she worked with me in an episode of "Up The Elephant And Round The Castle". She played a Russian spy, she was very good... and I should have married her! If she'd have had me! SIMON - How did your friendship with Marina come about? JIM - Well, we were doing that dreadful "Up The Elephant And Round The Castle" series and she turned up as an actress, very smashing and wonderful and that was it. And then, I remember watching about the third episode of Star Trek [The Next Generation] and I thought, "I know that woman!" and I looked and I saw that it was Marina Sirtis! Wow, I couldn't believe it! And about two years into the series, I was driving along and she phoned me up in the car! She'd been to her agents and her agent said, "You know Jim Davidson's a big fan, give him a ring!". and she said, "Oh, hello Jim." and I said, "Who's this?", and she said, "Guess!", and I said, "Who the **** are you?" and she said, "Don't swear at me", and then she said, "I did your TV show and I believe you're a fan of mine!" And I said, "You don't sound familiar." She said, "Don't make me do the voice, Jim!" And I went "Ooooh!" and nearly ****ing crashed the car!! I said, "Oh, Marina, oh god, your bloody series has changed my life! It has, it's given me such enjoyment. What it was really made for - enjoyment, even learning lessons from certain things the Captain does. Oh, marvellous." and she said, "Oh, come on," and I said, "No, it really has. I'm afraid I am exactly what Gene Roddenberry wanted to touch, I am that person. It was me." And she was quite chuffed about that! I saw her again at the premiere and she was very pleasant and charming and then I went to see her at the Albert Hall [Generations] where she did an hour's stand-up spot there. My company was going to get involved in that, my production company was going to do the sound and lights for that, but they already arranged it. And I went and told them I thought it was crap, and the P.A. people said, "You're the only one who's complained." and I said, "One is enough!" SIMON - Star Trek appeals to millions of people the world over. What is its particular appeal for you? JIM - I just think it is so well made. Being a producer myself and everything, I sit down now and look at the trailer at the beginning, you know the little trailer for Star Trek, and I think, "Wouldn't it be wonderful to have done that." It's so well done. It's brilliantly played by attractive people, great stories... I mean, there are some trick stories, I mean "Masks" hardly wants to make you sit up and shout, does it?! But I just think it's well written, well played and it does jump on that set of morals for mankind. And Jean-Luc Picard, he says himself he's to the left-wing of politics - I'm slightly to the right-wing as you heard in my act last night - but I do learn alot from him. I do learn alot from the things he does and I know that he puts alot of himself into the part, alot of the morals. It does make you think. When I was in the clinic, the psychiatrist said to me about Star Trek - this is when I went into the clinic to stop drinking, the British Betty Ford Clinic - he said, "Which Captain do you prefer?" And I said, "What's this? A test, a Star Trek test in a nut house?" He said, "Do you prefer James T. Kirk or Jean-Luc Picard?" and I said, "I prefer Jean-Luc Picard." and he said, "Why not Kirk?" I said, "Well, what chance does that give me? I've got to pick one." He said, "Do you think Kirk is more real?" and I said, "Yeah, I suppose he is, Kirk's more real, he makes mistakes, falls in love, goes wrong, but the Captain [Picard] is too perfect." But I was in Sarajevo three weeks ago and I got a helicopter out to HMS Illustrious and I went straight up to the bridge and I'd never seen a clean, quite, more exactly like... crisp white shirts and the captain only said a couple of words and everyone was running round him and there was two sea harriers waiting to launch - ARMED sea harriers - "Permission to launch, Captain?", he picked up his cup of coffee and he stood with me and he just said, "Yes, permission granted." Or "enable" or just one word that allowed him... "Make it so!" Or the naval equivalent of "Make It So" and these two sea harriers launched and flew off into the Serbian warlines. He was as calm as Captain Picard, so the psychiatrist was wrong! SIMON - Would you consider yourself to be a fan in the sense that you watch Trek whenever you get the opportunity, or are you a more devoted fan, collecting merchandise as well? JIM - Yeah, I collect the merchandise. I collect all the stuff. I've got all the videos at home. In fact, people I become close to who are not Star Trek fans normally get all of them for a Christmas present or things like that. My son's going to get them for his birthday this year - he doesn't quite know it yet. Yeah, I watch them a lot. For different moods, I find one which creates a mood and put one on. If I feel really melancholy and fed up I'll watch "Family" alot - I think that is the BEST TV episode I have ever seen - and the last series, of course, was great, wasn't it. The last one, that was real sad. I just wish Jean-Luc Picard's make-up was little better in that - it looked like a stick-on beard, didn't it?! SIMON - I think with some of them when they try to age the cast they tend to get it slightly off, don't they? JIM - Yeah, they do. SIMON - I think the only time they did a really good job was with Brent Spiner in "Brothers". JIM - Yes, excellent. It was very good. SIMON - The problem is I think the make-up was a bit TOO good, because you couldn't tell it was Brent underneath all of it! JIM - I didn't know his father was Brent at first. Brent was quite a nice little guy. My wife said, "My god, he's just like Data!". The captain loves Data, doesn't he, and I think Patrick Stewart loves that part. That's what he said when I introduced him on stage. He said, "I'd just like to say that I LOVE Data." and that was it. I thought "Unification" was very good. I thought that was excellent. That is another great bit where Spock mind melds with Picard and he shows the agony in his face and Picard shows the serenity. That is just absolute genius, and there's nothing ever in anything ever been made or ever will be that will sum that up in one camera shot like that. I just can't say enough about it. SIMON - I was a little bit disappointed with "Unification" as a story though. They had Spock there and it was the first re- appearance of a Classic Trek character - there was that many wasted opportunities. JIM - Yeah, a little bit. SIMON - They could have had him on the Enterprise, meeting up with Worf and they could have had a scene tying in with Star Trek VI and Worf's grandfather and things like that... JIM - The next film...! SIMON - It's a possibility but from what I have heard it's likely to be the Borg, the next next film. JIM - The Borg? Nasty bastards! Apart from Hugh. SIMON - Back to the merchandise again, what is your favourite piece of Trek merchandise and why? JIM - A six-foot Quark! I love Quark - Quark is my favourite out of all the characters. He makes me laugh my arse off! He is brilliant. I want a Ferengi as a mate! I've got Quark T- shirts - in my bar, behind my bar is Quark and you still shit yourself because you forget he's there and you go "Uuugh!" and people say, "Who's that ugly bastard?". "That's Quark!" I think he's great, I really think he's great. He's exactly the type of person you want to run a bar. A character that is funny. That holds Deep Space Nine together for me. I really try and like it, I try my hardest and it's good. I think Sisko's a bit wooden, isn't he?! SIMON - Have you seen any of the third season? JIM - No. SIMON - He gets ALOT better. JIM - Good, because I'm going to start to stock up. SIMON - He's relaxed alot more, letting his hair down... what there is of it! There are a few scenes between Sisko and Quark where he's really taking the piss out of Quark and winding him up! JIM - Good, good. SIMON - There's one episode where Sisko is trying to get Quark to do something ["The Search, Part 1"] - Quark just won't have it - and Sisko's managed to get hold of the staff from the Grand Nagus and Sisko forces Quark to kiss the head of the staff! JIM - Wasn't it funny, the Grand Nagus. He's there, shagging all those women in the holodeck! "Of your advanced years" they said, not too old! I think he's great. [Jim then proceeded to impersonate him!] "Quark! Remember Quark, the bigger the smile, the sharper the knife!" He's great, ain't he! SIMON - Sticking with the merchandise, what do you think is the most unusual piece that you've bought? JIM - Unusual piece? I've got a couple of the things that fly open and a couple of the noises. The guys buy me things at work in the production office. I've got a Klingon Cruiser and I've just got a Bird Of Prey, I've got an old Enterprise, and I've got an Enterprise phone! That is great, because it's my private number in my office [makes Red Alert sound] - it lights up and I piss myself! Once, when I first bought it, I put it in my flat in Chelsea and I phoned it up on my mobile phone - I just stood there pissing myself laughing! And then I went out in the car and I phoned it up and I could hear it ringing - but just an ordinary ring - and I was STILL laughing at the thought of it ringing on its own. It's great, I love it! I've got a Generations green suede bomber jacket - Paramount sent it to me for my help. That is great. They were really smashing. SIMON - What about the most valuable piece that you've got? JIM - I don't have any personal things. The most valuable thing to me is a picture of all the Next Generation cast signed to Jim for my birthday, from Brian - the little wardrobe guy - did you see that on the video ["To Boldly Go..."]? Yeah, good wasn't it! Now that was good because I went on tour and I always use the Star Trek music as a play-on whenever I'm doing a theatre show. I use star clothes and lasers - I mean, the opening of that "To Boldly Go..." show was sensational. There was Star Trek music and lasers and I just sort of appeared. On the video that's not quite how it was actually, that was a big trick. SIMON - Actually, I think the theme tune was edited out, wasn't it? JIM - The theme tune was edited out, all the logos - I used to do the Star Trek logo like on a big gauze over the audience with "Good night. Live long and prosper" with the Star Trek music, and then it said, "Now **** off and buy a video!" in big letters like this. And then I used to finish with the Deep Space Nine music with the logo and the stars. And I had the band in Star Trek uniforms - I didn't do any gags about it, it was just the set. And the drum riser - it was Kenny Jones from The Who's riser - and it was exactly like a communicator badge. So it was just the feel about it. And I used to do a routine about Star Trek - not jokes - I used to sit and talk to the audience about how wonderful I thought it was. And I wasn't allowed to use any of the stuff. But I still got the uniforms...! SIMON - Well, it's hard to edit that out really! JIM - Yeah! I've got the dancers as Klingons up on the Marti Caine show - I'm directing Marti Caine and Roger DeCoursey at the Wellington Theatre, Great Yarmouth - and I'm opening that with a laser and Star Trek tribute with six dancers as Klingons and Marti will appear through the dry ice. So that's going to be sensational? SIMON - Full head latex or just the... JIM - No, no, well I can't have the head latex. I think I'm just going to have to have them in Klingon costumes with human faces and funny wigs. I don't know, we'll have to see about that. I like Klingons. That was a good episode, what was the one with a million Datas in the wild west? SIMON - "A Fistful Of Datas". JIM - It is funny that is. I love it at the end you see, because my wife don't like Worf, but at then end of that when he smiled and looked and he showed his... that's a great bit of writing. People say to me, directors say, "It's got to be written different, it's got to be more real." and that made Worf lovable - it showed a little bit of, you know. And there was the famous story when I was arguing about my son's school fees with my ex-wife. I don't fly very well and I had to fly to Australia so I took my laptop with me and a dozen episodes of Star Trek in a big bag. And I was watching the episode where young Alexander says to Worf, "Are you my father" ["Reunion"], "Yes, I am your father." and I got to Singapore, phoned the wife and said, "I'll pay for everything!". And I sent her a telegram saying, "Thank the Klingons." I rattle on a bit, don't I?! SIMON - What is your most memorable moment as a fan? JIM - Oh, introducing them at the premiere. It was fab. SIMON - I was actually down there for the convention but I couldn't afford the premiere as well. It was fairly expensive tickets. JIM - Who did you see talking, did you see them all? SIMON - Yeah, I was there the full weekend. JIM - Was it good? Did you enjoy it? SIMON - Yeah. I mean as a convention it was a bit weak, because it was more like an American-style show. With the fan-run conventions you actually get to mingle with the guests all the time. So you actually get to chat and speak to every single one of the guests that turn up. JIM - That's quite good. I spoke to Patrick Stewart's agent about doing a theatre tour with him and Marina Sirtis, just talking to the audience like that, but they don't have the time and they get paid fortunes to do it and it is a business, after all. SIMON - There's one company in America, Creation, they've pretty much got a stranglehold on the convention market. I think Patrick Stewart can demand about £10,000 a time per convention. JIM - I think more than that. I think a lot more than that. I KNOW a lot more than that! SIMON - They can pull in the money quite easily though. As a comedian, your act is targetted towards an adult audience. Do you think that this caused some surprise amongst your fans when you revealed that you were a Star Trek fan considering that Star Trek is aimed at a family audience? JIM - No, not really. Well, my adult audience are only part of a family, aren't they? Half of a family, so they realise that why I aim for an adult audience is because I'm not a kids entertainer. I sort of am when I do Big Break, I think adults realise that I'm doing them a favour by not embarrassing their children. and they know I love Star Trek, everyone knows I love Star Trek. I got out of that one quite well! SIMON - What direction do you see Star Trek going in the future? JIM - Well, a woman captain, eh?! Let's hope she hasn't got to reverse it into spacedock! I don't know, I just jope it never ends. I hope they don't lose that personal touch. It really is, it's just like a very good soap opera set in a spaceship. SIMON - How did you feel when you first heard about Gene Roddenberry's death? JIM - It was just a shame really. It wasn't a devastating blow - I never knew the bloke. I knew it was in good hands with Rick Berman. Everynoe's got to go. SIMON - I can remember when I heard about it. I had the day off work to do some work on my magazine - I was just sort of gutted, really. I think I spent most of the night on the phone to dozens of friends, "Is it true? Is it true?". JIM - Yeah. SIMON - I'd never actually met him either - the one regret I think I've got as a Star Trek fan, never actually managing to get to meet him. Do you think that Star Trek has suffered since Gene died? JIM - I think the spin-offs could be in danger of losing its touch a bit. I don't know if it's suffered since Gene died because I think although Rick Berman is the producer, the way television works is that all the actors have a little say and they all remember the way that Gene Roddeberry talked them into doing it in the first place so it will always be there - it will never really die. He will live on within the characters. SIMON - Are you looking forward to the future of Star Trek, i.e. movies with the Next Generation crew, or Voyager? JIM - I'm looking forward to the lot, yeah. Have you seen any Voyager yet? SIMON - Yes, I've seen the pilot. JIM - Is it good? SIMON - Absolutely fantastic. JIM - Is it?! SIMON - From what I've seen - I mean, my favourite series out of all of them is the original series, but I would say that Voyager is as good as, if not possibly better! And that's just from the pilot! JIM - Who plays the captain? SIMON - A woman called Kate Mulgrew. JIM - Where do I know that name from..? SIMON - It's just that all the cast fit together really well as a family, which comes across quite well. The effects are incredible. The ship has it's warp nacelles sticking out to the side, but when it goes off into warp the nacelles fold up and then it shoots off. JIM - Great, like a swing wing! SIMON - It's just an unbelievable series. JIM - Oh good, good. Thank god for that. I'm going to have to get a bigger house to put all these tapes! SIMON - Voyager's due out on 4th June I think. A special edition for the pilot. JIM - Rick Berman said to me, "When you come over to Los Angeles look me up and I'll show you around the sets." And I thought, "Oh, I can't do that!" SIMON - For your "To Boldly Go..." tour, as we said earlier, the band were in... JIM - Oh, the band, yeah... SIMON - Did you have much trouble persuading them [to wear TNG uniforms!]? JIM - No because they are all Star Trek fans anyway. I think they have to be with me. The music is so good and I think that musicians especially like stuff like Star Trek because musicians like stuff that's put together well and they like the excellence that goes with it. But there was no problem there. SIMON - Do you think the popularity of Star Trek will be strong into the next century, and beyond, maybe even reaching its own century (23rd/24th)? JIM - Oh, now what a question! I hope so. I watched an original series Star Trek the other evening - which one did I watch? Oh yeah, the one with Gary Seven... SIMON - Assignment Earth. JIM - Oh, you're an expert, aren't you! It was quite good. Now what can you tell me about that episode - who was the girl? SIMON - Teri Garr. JIM - Who played what part in Close Encounters? She was the guy's wife in Close Encounters. You know, Richard Dreyfuss' wife - the same girl. Good Trivial Pursuit question! SIMON - When she was in Trek I think she was only about 16 at the time. JIM - Well she played [Richard Dreyfuss'] wife in Close Encounters so she's really plagued by spaceships! Yeah, well that's [Classic Trek] still enjoyable and it still all happens and that's quite a way off, I mean although it's only 30 years old, I mean technology has advanced so much so what technology's going to be advanced in another 50-60 years I still think it will hold up. I still think when I see that shooting star go across Rene [Picard in "Family"] it's wonderful. SIMON - In both your live shows and in Big Break, you seem to include as many references to Star Trek as possible. JIM - Have you noticed that?! I drive John Virgo mad with it! "Oh, not another ****ing Star Trek question!" There's a whole episode - in fact it's on video, I might be able to get a copy for you - once Star Trek was on at 5:00 pm on SKY and we do a dress rehearsal which lasts about 40 minutes and because we had run late it looked as if we were going to miss Star Trek. Now me and the guy who writes the questions, Toby - he's a big fan as well - so we did the whole show in 14 minutes!! We did the whole thing but speeded it up and at the end said, "We're going to watch Star Trek!". It's great, and there are lots of references to Star Trek in it. They always play the Star Trek music and once when we were rehearsing, instead of having the `click click click' seconds were had the `hmmm hmm' you know from the doctor's thing [medical heartbeat scanner in sickbay]. SIMON - Will you be encouraging your own children/family to watch Star Trek? JIM - Yeah, I guess so. SIMON - Have you ever been to a convention? JIM - Only the one at the Albert Hall. SIMON - Just the one day was it? JIM - I thought it could have been done a little better. SIMON - Do you plan on going to any more? JIM - Yeah. I'd love to have gone to the one in Malta but I can't go. SIMON - I think they've just cancelled it anyway! JIM - It's been cancelled? SIMON - Yes. From what I've heard, the hotel's part Libyan-owned. JIM - Oh god! SIMON - So Paramount have had to pull out of it... JIM - What, because of the sanctions? SIMON - Yes. Have you thought about going along to any fan-run conventions over here at all? JIM - Yeah, I'd like to go. I've always thought that I'd be sticking my nose where I don't belong though, quite frankly. Because I'm just a fan like everybody else. I could go along and watch, yeah. SIMON - What tends to go on at a fan-run convention you'll have video rooms showing episodes 24 hours a day... JIM - Really? SIMON - 4 days, 24 hours a day non-stop, 4 or 5 rooms just devoted to Trek. Several talks from guests - there's one in Scotland I'm going to in a couple of months that has Majel Barrett going... JIM - Oh, lovely. SIMON - They're trying to get hold of a few other people - a guy called Richard Arnold. He used to work behind the scenes at Paramount - he knows everything there is to know about Trek! I mean, the amount of knowledge the guy's got is just unbelievable. JIM - I got beaten by a celebrity mastermind. I wrote a gameshow on television that Steve Wright does called "Home Truths" - I devised that. We did the pilot and in the celebrity mastermind section I put myself on it - I did the Falklands War - Jeremy Handley, the Conservative chairman, did Rock 'n Roll, and Lorraine Kelley from GMTV did Star Trek... and she won! And I did the questions for her as well. I got her with a couple, she got a couple wrong! SIMON - I think you'd enjoy a fan convention. It's a really good atmosphere. With the ones in Glasgow, which is an annual one, if you could imagine 1,000 p***ed Star Trek fans getting together for a party all weekend! Other than Star Trek, do you enjoy watching other sci-fi shows? JIM - No, I'm not a science fiction fan really. Funny that, isn't it?! I couldn't watch Doctor Who if you strapped me to a chair! SIMON - I used to be a big Doctor Who - I got to know some of the fans and that put me off for life! JIM - No, I'm not a science fiction fan. SIMON - Any final comments? JIM - No, not really. I just get really excited by it and I think anything that's that good deserves excitement.