<>@7 +*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+* *4@3 HOME & AWAY - PART THREE *3]5@2 by Converse / A51 *1]1@7 *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+ @1 ]5Before we begin this issues episode, I regret to inform you that Network 7 Australia has brought out a lawsuit against "Beyond the Frontier" barring us from calling the Home & Away location "Summer Bay". Our script has now been altered and the location name is now "Summer Day". ]3So now you know!]1 @5(Home and Awaaaay, with you eaachhh daaaay...) @1 ]5Sergeant Pepper:]1 Okay Jack, we've got you surrounded.... ]5Jack:]1 Shit! There's loads of them! That's it, I'll have to resort to emergency tactics................. Muuuuuummyy!!! ]5Sergeant Pepper:]1 Shit! That could be his secret signal to call his mates.... Shoot him guys... @5(Squirt! Squirt! Squirt! --- The police fire their water pistols at Jack.) @1 ]5Jack:]1 Arggggggh!!!! I'm all wet! @5(Meanwhile at Alf's store. In the store room to be precise.) @1 ]5Alf:]1 Ahh, up a bit Shane... ]5Shane:]1 Ahhh, that's better. ]5Alf:]1 Keep it coming. @5(Ailsa walks into the shop.) @1 ]5Ailsa:]1 Hello? ....Alf? ]5Alf:]1 Ahhh, up a bit more Shane... ]5Ailsa:]1 What on earth....! @5(Ailsa storms into the store room.) @1 ]5Alf:]1 Down a bit.... ]5Shane:]1 Oh! Hi Ailsa! ]5Ailsa:]1 Eh?! ]5Alf:]1 Hi Ails. Me and young Shane are putting this picture up on the wall but I can't seem to get it straight.... Ahh, up a bit Shane. ]5Shane:]1 Howz that? ]5Alf:]1 That's it!........ Hey what's up Ails, you look like you've just seen a ghost. ]5Ailsa:]1 Oh nothing, it was just that Irene and Selina said you were... Er, oh forget it! ]5Alf:]1 Forget what? ]5Ailsa:]1 I don't know, I've forgotten now. Anyway, I'm going back to the diner. @5(Meanwhile, at the diner. Or should I say, what's left of the diner...) @1 ]5Jack:]1 No, please don't fire those water pistols again! I'm sorry! I won't destroy any more buildings, honest! ]5Sergeant Pepper:]1 Come on Jack, it's the slammer for you mate. @5(Ailsa arrives at the scene.) @1 ]5Ailsa:]1 What the hell happened here? ]5Sergeant Pepper:]1 Oh, it's just Jack. He blew up your diner with a hand grenade. ]5Ailsa:]1 Oh, is that all... Sheesh, I thought you were going to tell me he'd killed someone for a minute there! Ha! Ha! ]5Sergeant Pepper:]1 Erm, he did. He destroyed your diner. ]5Ailsa:]1 What!!!! Argggghhhhh! There were 50 dollars worth of burgers and bread rolls in there! Oh no, what a tragic waste. @5(Pippa turns up on to the scene.) @1 ]5Pippa:]1 Hey, Sergeant Pepper. What has Jack done? ]5Sergeant Pepper:]1 He blew the diner up. ]5Pippa:]1 Oh, no! I'll take Jack home and dicipline him immediately. ]5Sergeant Pepper:]1 Alright then, I didn't want him locked up anyway, coz he stinks of shit. ]5Pippa:]1 I know. @5(Aaaaaanywaaay, back at Selina's house, Curtess and Selina are having a chat...) @1 ]5Selina:]1 So, what have you always wanted to do in life? ]5Curtess:]1 I dunno really. I s'ppose I've always wanted to travel the world. ]5Selina:]1 Oh yeah, like where? ]5Curtess:]1 I dunno, somewhere in America maybe? ]5Selina:]1 Where in America? ]5Curtess:]1 Hmm, maybe Vagina? ]5Selina:]1 Where?! ]5Curtess:]1 Vagina.. Why what's up with there? ]5Selina:]1 Don't you mean Virginia? ]5Curtess:]1 Damn! So that's why everyone laughs at me when I say I'm going to Vagina next year... Fuck! @5(The phone rings.) @1 ]5Selina:]1 Hello..... Yes... ]3WHAT!]1 Irene's been shot? Oh well, I didn't like her much anyway. @5(Back at Pippa's house.) @1 ]5Jack:]1 Awww, come on Pip. Why do I have to do this? ]5Pippa:]1 Look Jack, I think writing "I must not grenade diners" is a very lenient punishment, don't you? ]5Jack:]1 Yeh but, do I have to write it whilst standing on my head? ]5Pippa: ]3YES!]1 ]5Jack:]1 Oh, okay then. @5(Meanwhile, outside. What's left of the diner. Donald Fisher lies in a pool of blood after being shot.) @1 ]5Donald:]1 Help... (he says, straining his now fading voice) Will someone please call an ambulance! Surely one of you officers can call an ambulance. ]5Sergeant Pepper:]1 Did you hear something Inspector Seddon? ]5Inspector Seddon:]1 No, did you? ]5Sergeant Pepper:]1 (Sergeant Pepper now whispers.) Shh, otherwise Donald will realise we know he's lying there dying on the pavement. ]5Inspector Seddon:]1 (Whispers back.) Oops, sorry. You never did forgive him for suspending you when you were in his face. @5(Youuuuu knoooww weee beloooong togeeether.... Woooooooo OOOOOOo.) *3 @3 Next issue, special guest MSC visits Summer Bay. Will Donald Fisher ever get to hospital.? Alex makes his debut and instantly falls for Shannon. Who wouldn't? Finally, we'll chuck a little 4 in on the end of Home and Away, so it reads.... Home & Away Pt4. Oh yeah, Shane dies... find out how next issue. What will we think of next?