@3The Devils Corner @5 Hello. It's me! Honestly, no plastic replicas allowed here, AND I don't wear a wig, despite what anybody may tell you. (we never said you did Ian, are you confessing?-Ed.) I've been away (and it wasn't prison) so consequently I've missed Star-Trek for the past 10 weeks! (I've also missed countdowm, but I'm not too disappointed about that.) Lloyd Grossman? Where? (Check under the stairs!) Stilton cheese! Why would anybody want to let their food go mouldy? We normally throw cheese away if it goes mouldy, but we should think about selling it as a "special" variety. (Maybe I've just realised what these well-known supermarkets are doing!) #6More>>> @5 Also, have you seen the frothy spray they make on coffee? Do you want to know what it really is? Well, they have a "store" of young babies, and when they need some froth, they just pat their backs and...mini-puke, there you have it. What? Yes I know it's sick! At the moment, my favourite phrase is: "THAT'S A BLOODY BIG COW!", but the story of how that was to be said cannot be told for fear of a public outcry. Another funny one...a few years ago, I found a funny birthday card saying "It wasn't the poo in the slipper that annoyed Mr Smith, it was the smirk on the puppy's face." @5By the way, I strongly advise you to all get connected to the Internet, but a small warning...it's VERY addictive, but since you are connected #6More>>> @5via the phonelines, it costs money (but FREE for me. *SMILE*). As usual here's my jokes: Multi-tasking P.Cs. There is a job going at the R.A.F, (Royal Airforce for people with I.Qs as low as a certain member of A.F) let's see if you could fit the bill: Just answer these three simple questions---- 1. It's all around us and it is what aircrafts fly through. 2. Small fury animal, rabbit like, (rhymes with the answer to the previous question) 3. A sheltered place where a wild animal habitually rests or eats. Put all three answers together and say them fast, see what you get! (see end of this article for answer) #6More>>> @5 This man walks in to the chippy. The bloke who works at the chippy says to the customer: "hi, can I help you" Customer: Yes I'd like Pulp fiction please, is it PG or 18? Chippy bloke: This is a chip shop, we don't sell videos! Customer: Oh, have you got it though? Chippy bloke: Try the video shop over the road. Customer: O.K. Next day--- Customer: Hi, have you got Star Trek generations? Chippy bloke: LOOK MATE!! We don't sell stuff like that! Go to the video shop! #6More>>> @5 Customer: Err, oh alright then. Next Day (again) Chippy Bloke: Christ, here's that bloke again! Customer: Hi, I'd like a portion of chips please. Chippy bloke: O.K, here ya go. Customer: Tah! Chippy bloke: Is there anything else I can get for you? Customer: Err, have you got a Fish Called Wanda? Chippy bloke: Strewth! This month our bloke, Conny has taken up the cheats section (games bit) #6More>>> @5with his Amazon queen guide, but never fear cos I'm here with a collection of small tips for you lot. This months tips: Zeewolf:- To get onto mission 21, type in SOCKIN as the level code. Nice and simple wasn't it? For those peeved off with Jungle Strike, try these handy level codes: Level 4: XT6YXL6PF6M Level 5: VNHYWMGZBC9 Level 6: WSFXW4MPYHJ Level 7: THPD96PGCLN Level 8: N4SC3756MWB Level 9: NZY95DBR9Y6 #6More>>> @5I've had two people asking for help with Flight of the Amazon Queen, so see the Games section for a big massive humorous, helpful page. Answer to joke (above) : Air-Hare-Lair That's slightly more than a "byte" from me, but who's counting? Bye!!!!!!