In  TW#6, Freak let his morals sink several miles lower, not only in his
overt  malevolence  towards yours truly, but in his sinking so low as to
actually use THE TRUTH in his insults (NOW THAT IS LOW !!!).

Now,  in  response to Freak's inconsequential mutterings about my belief
in  merely  expressing my emotions to the full, I would like to take you
on a guided tour of...

|1-Freak's Consciousness



1)      When I stated that sex with Freak took about as long as it takes
        him  to make a cup of coffee, he stated that was because it took
        him  bloody  ages  to  make a cuppa.  This is a complete lie!  I
        speak from personal experience.  About the coffee, not the sex -
        PHEW!

2)      In  TW#6,  Freak  mentioned  the  return  of  the (Ever popular)
        Photobooth,  and  said  he  would enter a photo of him without a
        disk  in  his  mouth.   What  people  do  not realise is that he
        actually has a tongue shaped like a 3.5" disk.  Look closely, if
        you have a copy of the piccy in question and you can see that it
        is  really  his  tongue.   Eloise  tells me it gives a whole new
        angle to Frenchies!

^3^^300









3)      If you haven't written at least two articles for the next ish of
        the Word, don't go near him, he'll badger you to death (and then
        ask  you  to  write some articles while you're recovering).  You
        know what I'm talking about CB!

4)      He  has  a complete inabilty to simply walk past Future Zone.  I
        tell  him  while  we're walking through town, don't go in there,
        Future Zone's Crap (this is the opinion of Aladdin Sane, and not
        necessarily  that of the Word in general), but in he goes.  It's
        sad really!

        (It's TRUE - I admit it, help me PLEEEAAASSEE! - F)

5)      The pockets of my suits are supposed to be sewn up, so there!

6)      When we go on a little soujourn through town, Freak gets jealous
        of  the fact that all the lasses look at me.  So much so that he
        pretends  to  be brushing dandruff off my manly shoulders.  Lets
        face  it girls would rather look at me, 6'2", 30" waist, wearing
        a  suit  that shows my rippling body to full effect, rather that
        Freak,  5'8", 38" waist, wearing jeans, a crap t-shirt, and that
        bloody awful jacket he always wears (you know the one!)

                       (I do indeed - Pex le Sex)

        In  honour  of this aspect of Freak's psyche, I have produced my
        own remix of John Lennon's classic, "Jealous Guy"

                I didn't meant to hurt you,
                I cannot help it when the girls stare
                I know you feel a bit left out
                But, hell, I just don't care!

                You were feeling insecure
                Did anyone love you anymore?
                All the girls wanted was my bod,
                But they thought you an ugly sod!

                I could have said you were a god,
                but it would be a big fat lie
                The girls just seem to think you're odd,
                you really are a Jealous Guy!

                        (c) MCMXMV Aladdin Sane

        No part of this production may be reproduced, either whole or in
        part, according to the laws of the United States of Venus, circa
        6400 BC.  So there!

7)      Freak's  consciousness operates on two distinct levels, Gutter -
        for when he's working on one of his girlie slideshows, and Sewer
        - for when he's with Eloise.

Extra : Freak  also  has  no  sense  of taste - he actually said my red,
        crushed-velvet shirt was tacky!

Have you got any more gip for Freak, send it to me and if its good, I'll
try to pass it off as my own work!

See you in the Dreamlands,

|1-Aladdin Sane


                              (1974 -199?)