@t6,12@^
@f09@cMAN'S  BEST  FRIEND



@f00@t4Usually everyone who has  a dog  calls
it Snoopy, Scot, Lassie,  or something
like that, but I called mine "Sex".

One day  I took Sex  for a walk and he
ran away  from me  and  I spent  hours
looking  for  him.  A  policeman  came
along  and asked  me  what I was doing
in an alley  at 4  in the morning.   I
said  "I'm looking for Sex."  My  case
comes up next Thursday.

One day  I went to  the  Town Hall  to
get  a dog licence for Sex.  The clerk
asked me  what I wanted and I told him
I wanted a licence for Sex. He said he
would  like  to have  one too.  When I
@^




said,  "But this is a dog"  he said he
didn't care what she looks like.

Then  I  said,  "You don't understand,
I've  had Sex  since I was  in kinder-
garten". He  replied  "You  must  be a
strong boy".

When I decided  to get married, I told
the Minister that I wanted Sex  at the
wedding.  He  told  me  to  wait until
after  the  ceremony.  I said "But Sex
has played  a big part  in my life and
my  whole  lifestyle  revolves  around
Sex."   He said he didn't want to hear
about  my personal life  and would not
marry us  in his Church.  I  told  him
@#@t6,12@^
@t4everyone  coming  to the wedding would
enjoy  having Sex there.  The next day
we  were  married by  a Justice of the
Peace and my family is now barred from
the Church.

My wife and I took  the dog along with
us on the honeymoon and when I checked
into the motel  I told  the clerk that
I wanted a room for my wife and me and
a special room for Sex. The clerk said
that  every room  in the motel was for
sex. Then I said "You don't understand
Sex keeps me  awake at night." and the
clerk said "Me, too."

When my wife  and I separated  we went
to court  to fight  for custody of the
dog.   I said, "Your Honour, I had Sex
before  I was married"  and  the Judge
said "Me, too."
@^
When  I  told  him  that  after  I was
married Sex  had left me, he said "Me,
too."

Well,  now  I've been  thrown in jail,
been  married,  divorced, and had more
damn trouble  with that dog than I had
ever gambled on.    Why just the other
day,  when I went for my first session
with   the psychiatrist,  she asked me
"What seems to be the trouble?"

I replied,  "Well,  Sex  has  died and
left my life.  It's like losing a best
friend and it's so lonely."

The  psychiatrist  looked  at  me  and
said "Mister, you and I both know that
sex  isn't  man's  best friend, so get
yourself a dog."
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