SCENARIO 95 ² ¢ ___ ___ ___ ² ² ** ¢ || \ || \ || \² ** ² ******¢ ||_/ ||_/ ||_/² ****** ² ** ¢ || \ || \ || \² ** ² .¾P².¾R².¾E².¾S².¾E².¾N².¾T².¾S². ¢SCENARIO '95 PARTY REPORT (Lahti, Finland 13.oct.95 -> 15.oct.95) ¹also known as the... ¾RUSKEAN REIAN RITARIT LAHTI EXPEDITION ³Report designed by party-visiting RRR-members, Tailgunner, Teuvo Tursas & Raato ¼Typed in by Tailgunner ¶¾ FRIDAY ² ====== ¹Before we arrived at the partyplace at 6:?? pm we met the fabulous Brainless Coders (PC) and asked them for walking instructions (ofcourse, environmentally friendly RRR do not use car... at least not at this point anyway). It took us perhaps even 3 minutes to find the partyplace so I must say that there wasn't party-staff deposited signs enough! Poor tourists could have got lost! Place itself was quite small, but it wasn't crowded. Hell no. Just some pc-losers, lots of coaxial wire and shiteload of empty tables. On the amiga-side, there were these Delphine- guys with their Delphinarium. Really boring guys. Luckily there was quite a lot of markets around, hot-dog retail outlets, local booze faucet Alko and mc donalds (it was pretty obvious they were sponsoring the party, and of course the staff tried all they could to convince the party attendants to buy their meals at rainforest-raping mc donalds). So we went out and bought a lot of Pepsi. Teuvo Tursas also bought some odd cakes and I bought Yoghurt. There was also a MEGA DIRTY COMMERCIAL ATTEMPT, as some quite fat female dealed out some academica-buy-pc-be-a-happy-dork brochures to everyone. Well, it was fun practising origamis and messing the place up with 'em. ²Please turn page... ¶¶¹Then we made some brilliant RRR-advertisements. One of them said "into our hideout - your excrements will arrive". Fortunately no one understood and the handmade piece of art stayed at the toilet entry for whole party duration. As the other adds, we saw some pathetic Coma-flag (PC), which wasn't funny at all, some Exotic Men (Amiga) and Damones (PC) commercials and they were pretty good, with perverted moral values and kid-abuse. Way cool! Also Brainless Coders had some advertisements around. Well, on the decoration side, there wasn't competition between us good guys and those fucking serious nerds, who usually dominate the partyplace. Party was pretty boring, so we decided to have various trips to the outside world. On our way past mcdonalds we saw the brilliant Exotic Men showing their backsides to the stupid fucks sitting at the "restaurant". That was a fine thing to do. At some hot-dog retail outlet I bought a meat pie with two small- size sausages (a NAKKI, that is). Satans savolaiset vittu were so sadistic that they didn't know the correct usage of spices at all. KAIKKI MAUSTEET! and what do you get?!?!? A pikoscopic amount! At helsinki, finland, a local hot-dog devourer would blast out of existence such salesman who dares to give him so little ketchup! We checked the railway-station location. It was easy to find. One point for the scenario-staff. There we saw a map and then we headed for the Lanu-recreation park. We went through the Old Cemetary, which was near the radio towers. It was up on the hill, just like the other cemetary we visited. I wonder why all Lahti-cemetaries are up on the hills. Perhaps the hills are constructed of rotting humans. More about that other cemetary later. We walked quite a long time, and up on some other hill we stopped to have a pee. Each of us three pissing into different directions we drew three R-letters. Heading down the hill we noticed a sign that we actually were in the Lanu-park already (Lanu parken! Toppen! Det hade varit i vår svenska boken!) It was already dark, so we didn't see the huge stone sculptures too well. They dominated the park and were kinda spooky. If you ever visit Lahti, we recommend to visit the Lanu-park. It was obviously the best part of the town. When we got back, local low-life had gathered around the Carrols- restaurant, in order to form mating couples I guess. Amount of so-called little whores was disturbingly high. How cute. Inside mcdonalds (there may be a perverted time distortion here), we met NUP(Amiga) who was trying to score. He immediately recognized us (we are so damn well-known). Anyway, his pie seemed quite scared as NUP pushed her chair around the restaurant floor. Poor girl. We don't like animal torture. There's good chances that NUP is joining RRR soon. We didn't bother to watch gfx and sfx competitions, they would suck anyway. There was two not-so-big screens which displayed blurred image all the time. PC users had got to installing their windose '95 environments and seemed quite happy wanking with that all the partytime. Luckily someone stole one harddisk from some windows-loser. Gee, justice wins at last! MUD(amiga) asked if he can do an ASCII for us. Such a nice young man. We reached back to the Lanu-park in order to sleep in our sleeping bags. It was 2am when we were there, trying to sleep among the wildlife and rotting leaves. Tursas had some fashion- sleeping bag and he felt cold all the time, and at 6am he decided to leave. Me and Raato slept till 10am. 8 hours of disturbed sleep in a decaying park. We really felt party-feelings. ¾SATURDAY ²======== ¹Ed and other guys from Exotic Men were already up and running, just as well as Damones did. We went to s-market to buy more pepsi. I also bought some exotic valio juice. Me and Raato had orange-variations (tsazumas gringos tala med espanol!) and Tursas bought apples. Not bad at all. More Amigas had arrived, was it three or four machines total. Most of their owners were boring shite. Luckily again, we had our recorders with us (if you didn't know, that's a kind of FLUTE!) and we played them a lot. Other guys, playing their pitiful KIUKKUTEKNO-(umb-umb-umb-umb-tsik-umb) -SHIT didn't like our flute-compositions. And guess if we did care about those melody-deaf earthlings. Toilet was looking quite ugly and somebody had ripped some of our adds off. Scenario STAFF SUCKS. There were some obviously non-scene females among them, little sisters probably. I wonder why those idiots always drag 'em along. Can you imagine, when the Exotic Men showed their arses outside mcdonalds, these female staff-conservatives PROTESTED! They have NO IDEA WHAT A PARTY IS ALL ABOUT. Those guys and gals should be hacked and whacked and carved and bruised to little cubes. There should be R.R.R./EXOTIC MEN/DAMONES-organized party, where we would have great fun! On the other hand, without all the nerds, who could we torment, tease and drive to the edges of madness? At this point we had another trip outside, to the WATER TOWER! It was up on a hill. And it was far away. Well we went there anyway and blasted each other with some berries we found from trees. Under one bridge, there was some great philosophy. It asked: "Nainen, onko vittu vain koristeesi?" On our way to the tower, we crossed the Mustakallio (or something like that) cemetary. We saw there a party animal. Also, we went through a childrens playground, which featured an odd climbing facility. It's insides were decorated really cool. There were texts like "100% satan", "tipsu kusee pantaessa" and much other cool stuff. Nice folk there at Lahti. We also passed another childrens playground, featuring jolly blue elephants, two pieces of them! Me and Raato rode them with joy and elation. Then we touched the water tower. ²Please turn page... ¶¶¹Back to the partyplace, the staff had some guts after all, as they played some porn and a part of Urotsukidoji at the big screen. Urotsukidoji was ofcourse cutted to pieces but we could see some tits and little girls atleast. That was not bad (of course I HAVE THE UNCUTTED FILTHY VERSION). At the assembly-parties they wouldn't have shown even that. Later that evening we saw some bestiality related material noncensored at the big screen. That was a thing to do!!! There was actually some good people among the staff as well. And there's some good people among the young parents! When the Urotsukidoji was running with all of it's jism and gore, just in the front of the big screen, there sat two kids. They were just 4 years old or something like that, and their father was standing behind them, letting them watch the gory show in peace. That's how each and every of us should raise our children. Because of the toilet condition, and me being so sissy, I went to use mcdonalds toilet facilities. Tursas was drinking cacao there at the table, and as I didn't bother to close the toilet door, he said that all the stench of shit floated into the mcdonalds eating quarters. Good. It was also excellent that the water faucet didn't function so I couldn't wash my hands. Now I must tell you of our short meeting with dr. poop (amiga I presume) outside the partyplace. Raato had wondered really long who was that sweet blond girl among the staff. Well, that was Dr. poop himself. Even at close range he looked so cute with his clean long hair and his rosy lips, not to forget his female characteristics. I must admit that dr.poop was the loveliest creature at the partyplace. We also met the fabulous J{rjestysmiehet, Ylip{{llikk| and Stara. They had nice sunglasses. Then there was Zeus(Amiga), the pop-metal man himself, who seemed quite a lot better in live than in the bbs-world. Before the competitions, I disappeared and turned out as the notorious pipe-playing BLUE TENTACLE of R.R.R. I quickly learned how to play the beginning of Beethoven's 5th Symphony, the Symphony of Fate with my recorder. Soon afterwards Raato and I played it a lot. We also played mercyful fate with those flutes and sung in loud volume. We also featured various childrens songs. Ever been a tentacle yourself? Compos were late as usual but they were not bad as they showed excellent productions from Ruskean Reian Ritarit (our grand demonstration, PIKASIKA), Exotic Men, Damones and Brainless Coders. Other prods viewed were that usual shit-class nolife 24247 blobs in a multiple shade- distorted blah blah blah and artistic trance-tekno shite. The show culminated in a great evil happening nested in the inhuman brains of the criminal R.R.R. masterminds. Yes, it was us, the Experts of Explosives, the Masters of Smoke Bombs (Remember assembly '93?) who provided the jolly good Exotic Men with the bombs. It was during the second pc competition demo when we heard The BLAST(tm). Not too long afterwards, the lights came on, the compo stopped and the staff disconnected all powers from the computers! The compo interruption was fine, but the faces of those windows '95 assholes, that was worth everything! Hah! Validating their harddisks, fixing everything that went shite when the power was turned off. The brave Exotic Men took all the blame. Oh, if the organizers knew how much we had explosives left. We could have taken over the world. ¾SUNDAY ²====== ¹We used a train to get home, leaving lahti at 6:12am. With us were some of our loyal followers, Zeus, MUD, Sliver & Ruma of BC and some other enlighted children whose names remained unknown till the end of time. This should be all worth mentioning. ¢ R.R.R - FOR THE CLEANER WORLD ÿ