TITLE: THE BEST EVER RUM CAKE
TYPED: ZIPPO/INDEPENDANT


The  following  instructions  are  based  on  the production of the best
acholic Rum cake ever to be produced.

The  writer accepts no responsabaility for any druken behavior which may
result after or during preperation, of the said item.


INGREDIENTS
-----------

1 OR 2 quarts of RUM                        Baking powder (smigen)
1 cup of Butter                             1 tablespoon of Soda
1 tablespoon of Sugar                       Lemon Juice (squirt)
2 large Eggs                                Brown Sugar
1 cup of dried Fruit                        Nuts (Without Shells)




INSTRUCTIONS
------------

Before you start, sample the Rum to check its quality.  "Good, aint it?"
Now go ahead.  Select a large mixing bowl, measuring cup etc.

Check  the Rum again, it must be just right.  To be sure that the Rum is
of  the correct quality, pour one level cup into a large glass and drink
it as fast as you can.  Repeat above until you are sure of quality.

With an electric mixer beat in a large fluffy bowl 1 cup of Butter.  Add
1  Seaspoon  of Thugar and beat again.  Meanwhile Try another cup of Rum
to ensure quality is the same as five minutes ago.

Add  2  arge leggs ,2 cups of fried druit and beat until high.  If Druit
gets  stuck  in  beaters, just prise it loose with a Drewscriver.  Next,
check the Rum again for its tonsciticity.

Next,  sift  3 cups of Pepper or Salt (it really doesnt matter).  Sample
the  Rum  again.   Sift half a pint of Lemon juice (or was it a squirt?)
Fold  in  chopped  Butter  and strained Nuts, add 1 babblespoon of Brown
Thugar, or whatever colour you can find.  Wix mell.

Grease  Oven  and  turn cake pan to 350 Gredees.  Nowpour the whole mess
into the coven and ake.  Check the Rum again and bo to ged.

Next day.place Ice bag on Head.



end.