@t5,11 @^@f02@t1@cTHE PERFECT SON-IN-LAW... @f01@cby RokDaZone @f00@t420.10.92 @t7Did this ever happen to you? @t4You were out on a saturday-evening and met the girl of your dreams and she also finds in you the bo(d)y of her dreams. So, you both feel quite well when being together and decide to start a relationship. Till now every- thing wents rather well, but then you are invited to meet her parents for the first time and... DESASTER every- thing wents wrong!!! From now on, her parents do not like you at all and might even tell your girlie, she must not meet you anymore... @^ Oh, boy. This is sad, indeed! There- fore, mighty RokDaZone, dream of every mother-in-law, best friend of every father-in-law and big charmeur,is here to help you miserably unlucky people out there. @t1"THANK YOU, ROKDAZONE!!!" @t4Not worth to be mentioned. That is just the way, I am: Friendly, helpful, nice, dear, honest, faithful and modest. Most of all modest. In fact 'modesty' is my second name. Ok. Imagine this: Your dream girl has @# @t5,17 @^ @t4invited you to her home to drink tea with her and her parents. The first question is rather easy to be answered @t6QUESTION 1: @t7How to dress? -------------------------------------- @t6Possibility 1... @t4You could take the sharpest dress, you find. Try some golden rings and chains with some small but precious diamonds and do not forget about your sun- glasses, because else, you could get blinded by the glaring of the diamonds A cloud of 'Eau de Cologne' (or even better: Eau du Froehliche) is a MUST!! Well, might be cool, but her parents might only think of your money and surely the father will try to make you get pissed and to sell some insurances @^ to you or maybe a 273rd edition of the best-jokes-compilation from Karl Marx consisting of 24 single books (costs only 1065.95DM). @t6Possibility 2... @t4You also could punk totally up and mess your clothes. Do not wash your- self for several days ( shall be no probleme for you, because you are already used to it). This has the ul- timate advantage that you do not have to care about your smell, because you will get an "Eauuw! Dat stinks" auto- matically. Hmmm, of course this shows modesty and truthfulness about your qualification to be the right friend for their daughter. If you will have success? At @# @t5,17 @^ @t4least you have the chance to receive some money, if her parents are real warmhearted people, because they might not realize who you are and think that you are going begging for some money. Therefore, they could possibly spend some bugs to you. Nice, eh? @t6Possibility 3... @t4So, better just dress up the way you normally do. Ordinary uninteresting shoes, jeans and shirt. Her parents will thank it by telling ordinary un- interesting stories about her daughter when she was a child. While this, they will start a fuzz about the clothes, she wore at her eighth birthday-party, giving you the chance to slowly move out of the room with your girlie to @^ see what she is wearing under her or- dinary and uninteresting clothes right now... Got the point across? Hope so, mates. Ok. Now, you are standing in front of your girls home. You were supposed to come - Ooops! Pardon - to APPEAR at 3:00p.m. - now it is around 2:40p.m. @t6QUESTION 2: @t7What to do? -------------------------------------- @t6Possibility 1... @t4You wait with patience in front of the door, trying to perfectionate your clothes by zipping here and there a bit... a bit more... still some more. Well, in the end, your expensive new mohair jacket will look like a long- haired cat after sleeping in front of @# @t5,17 @^ @t4a ventilator. Your nerves and your mood will have reached the bottomline. Naaw! @t6Possibility 2... @t4Young and dynamically like you are, you pretend not to know the time and ring at the door without further con- sideration. Her dad - who will open - consternentally looks at you, mumbling something like: "Ah, ... We, erm, did not expect you THAT early." With a friendly:"Don't worry 'bout it. Nobody is perfect.",you push him by the side, stepping in - of course not without telling him, you really like his (old- fashioned) underwear, still visible, because he did not manage to put on his normal trousers in time... Parents @^ like politness! Just one small clue: If her mom wents out of the bathing- room, just wearing a small towel, she desperatly tries to hide her specific femal extremities with ( elegantly expressed, eh? ), you should better avoid following two points: @t7- @t4Better do not offer to dry her body with the towel. @t7- @t4Do not offer her your hand ( Think about the consequences)!!! Imagining, you did this without con- sidering my clue... ... Never ever start laughing! She could think, you are vexing her shape (what of course you do). ... Do not whistle appreciatingly as long as her husband or your girlie is in range of hearing, guess why! @# @t5,17 @^ @t6Possibility 3... @t4You step away to met some friends at the local pub. One 1.5 hours later you arrive back at her parents home with a constant smell of beer and smoke in- toxicating the air around you. Her mom will barely angry serve cold coffee and warm icecream ( at least once it might have been icecream). Soon, you will start argueing with her dad about your differing favourite soccer-teams and being thrown out rather soon. @t6Possibility 4... @t4Better be there just in time, fool! @t7- - - @t4So, you old capon. Learned from it? Ah, just one last clue: Never ever close your eyes to start an immediate @^ kissing attack before the housedoor got opened full, else you could... ... run directly into the door, leav- ing ugly red stripes on the doors surface and some interesting but not so nice tracks on your face. ... kiss someone instead of your girl and unshaved wannabe fathers-in- law do not taste too nice! In this way: @t7Eat 'em raw, tiger... @t6>>> RokDaZone <<< @@