|1-Bastard 'ard Quizzes



                           By D!ck and Sacko.

Welcome  trivia  buffs!  It all started with "Space:  Above and Beyond",
we  were casually posing questions on the Discworld series and trying to
catch  each  other out, and eventually we decided to list 25 of the most
bastard-ard-never-get-em-in-a-million-years  questions  to see if anyone
else was as sad as us.

Next  up was "Lord of the Rings", which I happened to be reading (again)
and Sacko was merrily quoting chapter titles from as if it were stuff to
go  on his shopping list, so THAT got the treatment too, 25 questions to
slowly turn your brain to cheese.

Running  out  of  books,  we  turned  our  attention  to  Sacko's  video
collection and, in the first instance, to Wallace and Gromit.  The three
titles  so  far released were duly retrieved and a scientific experiment
was  set  up  to  find  - you guessed it - another 25 questions that The
Times wouldn't use because they were too nasty.

These  are  the  first  three quiz files to be compiled by us, we aim to
have  three  in  the  next issue of The Word too, and we'll try and keep
them  bastard  'ard but not TOO difficult (Questions like "When the pond
rotates  in  "A Close Shave", what is positioned opposite the gnome with
the Stop/Go sign?), you will be able to get them with a bit of thought.

    Issue 13:   Terry Pratchett's Discworld.
                The Lord of the Rings.
                Wallace and Gromit.

    Issue 14:   The Hitchiker's Guide.
                Alien/Aliens/AlienIII.
                Walt Disney's Toy Story.

If anyone has another topic that they think we should cover beyond issue
14  (Don't  all  write in saying "X-Files", it's been done!) then please
let  us  know  and we'll endeavour to pruduce a list.  Alternatively you
can  supply  us  with  25  questions and answers - make sure they're all
correct  - for a quiz of your own, send them in to the usual address for
article submissions.

In  the  meantime,  enjoy the three quizzes that we've compiled for this
issue and watch out for the next three, see just how good your knowledge
is on these and other topics!

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