|1-Pleasure Island - Part 3 |1-1001 Nights Rating 8/10 4/10 6/10 6/10 This is very similar to that of the pirate ship. But instead of you going upside down all that happens is the carriage you are in really just feels as if it is going from side to side which surprisingly it is. The ride is pretty good and I went on it quite a few times as it did not make ne feel that sick at all. It was only after about the eigth time that I went on it I decided that I had had enough. Safety is pretty good for this ride, mind you if you do sit by yourself then yoo will be thrown from one side to the other which at the time will not feel very safe at all, and well basically is not. Overall I found this ride to be quite mediocre in all of the aspects that I have used to describe the rides. If you feel like being really nasty to anyone then put them on their own and see them pile from one side to the other. This may hurt them just a little bit and they will probably get off of the ride allowing you to have a few more goes in peace. |1-Dodgems Rating 5/10 1/10 5/10 5/10 Another of the old fairground atractions is brought into the park. This ride has not been painted in about 12 years and you can see this. the cars are a complete state and there is a sign that says NO BUMPING so what sort of ride do you call this. Apart from the ride looking absoluty awful the ride itself is not really that bad, it could do with the speed being yanked up a bit though as it is rather slow. I could have been on this ride all day if it were not so boring as it did not make me feel sick at all, no matter how many times that I accidentally hit the car of my girlfriend. Safety is not tooo bad, the attendants do make sure that you all have as seatbelt on regardless of how old you are you are treated as if you were ten years old and cannot even drive. Overall this is a fairly good ride and is in the middle of al of the ratings. i would recommend this however to go on more than once. If you want to really get at someone then all Ican recommend is that you just really bump them into the othee cars as the whiplash will really hurt their neck. Otherwise when the bloke stops the ride park yuo car next to the start lever andd when he goes to help the little kids get out flip the switch and run into your best friends legs. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. |1-Railway Rating 0/10 0/10 0/10 0/10 This can and never will ba classed as a ride as the thrill of this ride is 0, the boke factor is 0, the safety factor is 0 due to the fact that you can jump off anywhere you want to. You are not supposed to but it goes that slow it is unbelievable. This is only good for one thing and that is going to look all of the way round the park. You could however quite as easily walk round the park faster than the train itself. To get rid of someone whilst on this ride then do it the old fashioned way. Push the bas*ard underneath the train as it is moving. Trist me they will not get up for a while. |1-Four Man Bob Rating 7/10 5/10 4/10 5/10 This is the ride that once was at Alton Towers, and just as it was there it always seems to be closed. It basically where four of you sit in a carriage that is supposed to represent a bobsled and yuo go around this track. This is a pretty good ride when it does work and you will not really begin to feel to bad after a few goes on it. That is of course if it doesn't break down on you. Safety is not really that good as when yoo are on this ride you do not feel safe at all as it is rickety and really does shake quite badly Overall thouggh I felt that this ride is quite worth another go on it, especially if it is raining as you get totally drench if I is as there is absolutly nothing over you whatsoever. One and only way to get rid of someone is to put them by their selves and cut the seatbelt, which when they get to the first corner will cause them to reqalise that the belt had bbeen cut but by this time it will be too late and they will be half way into the air shouting rather rude words that are to explicit to mention. |1-Cycle Monorail Rating 2/10 0/10 1/10 2/10 This is a really cr*p ride even though it does not make you feel sick. Whoever invented this ride needs a bloody big slap. Alll that this ride does is drain you of all energy thhat yuo had left in your soul, especially if it is a really windy day. The safety is rather poor as if you really feel like it then you could undo the rather simple seatbelt mechanism and just jump to the ground, this may sting for a while as it is quite high. I would only go on this once if I really was desperate to go on a ride. I must now also point out that the ride that is close by to this ride is the Tinkerboo Sweet Factory and the music can be heard quite clearly. You may find that queing for this ride will kill you as the queue takes ages to dissapear and by the time you get to the top of the stairs yoo will know all of the words to the song. This ride really did kill me and when I came off I could not walk whatsoever. Mainly due to the reason that it was a really windy day when I went on it. This ride overall is utter bo**ocks. If you really want to get a friend in great pain then I recommend that you get in the same carriage as him and make him pedal the whole way round. To be even neastier to them then I recommend that every now and again you try and pedal backwards. Watch the reaction on their face as you try and do this. |1-Astro Slide Rating 6/10 0/10 5/10 4/10 Well this ride is a slide. It is a one of those slides that goes down and at different intervals it has a much gently slopw which again changes back to the standard slope. If you are on the large side then yoo will probably find that youo will not go down this slide at all as when yoo hit the first gentle part you will come to a complete stop. You will find that yoo will never be sick on this ride but yo will hawever get sick of going up and down those bloody stairs that when you get to the top and lookd down say, was it really worht it. The answer quite simply is a NO! Safety is not too bad as when you get to the top you cannot just decide to jump off any where except for straight down the slide. thsi is due to the fact that there is a giant fence right at the top, which stops you from jumping. Overall one ride on this is enough for you to not go on it again. If yoo wnat to slow someone down who is still following you. Then this is how you make them stop in the middle allowing you to go down and then run really fast away from them. What you do is this, Fill their sack with really heavy objects and you will find that they will get stuck at about half way down. Youo may now laugh at them quite violently. |1-Mini Mine Trian Rating 6/10 1/10 4/10 5/10 I am afraid to say that this another of those rides I have not actually been on. If you have ever seen the one at Alton Towers then this is a smaller version of the one that they have there. I have been told that yoo will not be sick. Hwever the safety is rather pooor as there is only a bar that with a little presuasion will move back up again, allowing only a psycho to jump out of their carriage. My little frien that told me about this ride said that he only went on it the once as he found thhat it was not worth queueing up for another go. There is one way to get rid of someone on this ride and that is to persuade his bar up and push him put whilst the ride is in motion. |1-Jungle Safari Rating 0/10 0/10 0/10 0/10 There is not really that much that Ican say about this except for the fact that I was ad enough to actually go on it to test what it was like. In a word this is utter cr*p and one go was enough to put me to sleep. I came off of the ride in uter amazement as I had never seen so much plastic used to try and make a crocodile look real. It looked that real that it really did scare me. Whatever I do not think so. I would not even put my worst enemy on this ride and that is saying something. The safety however is rather poor as I just got out of the car and wlked back to the entrance. If you go on this ride with anyone else then you will never get rid of thhem so you may as well forget it. Pex's Addition: In addition I would also like to point out that Wayne ================ has missed out the shows that also make the park even better (but still shite!). I don't really know much about most of them as I didn't have time to see them (I was too busy drooling at all the women with bikini's and low cut tops on). There are Parrot and Seal shows, but the best show by far is the Barny Bear show. This lasts for about 15 minutes, and basically is robots miming to CD's that are played in the back. It doesn't sound very good, but trust me I think that it was! The robots are actually bears and chickens etc (like on the muppets) and it is all hydraulics (so no strings). The voices all work in perfect sync with the CD, and so it looks like they are really talking. They are all perfectly co-ordinated, (and at £10,000 per CD I should bloody well think so too...) The voices are brilliant and really real, and the songs are good too. The storylines are also funny and similar to the muppets also. The whole lot is backed up by a wacky presenter (also a puppet) who keeps it running along very quickly and smoothly. All in all I think that it is the BEST attraction for the park. |2- WorkBench/iNDi |1-Cheers End