|2-View From






|2-The Fence







|1-By Canada/G$P



There  are  a  few  things  in  life that really piss me off and in this
article  I  want  to  tell you about them, and let you know my feelings.
First  I  would  like  to share my views of Mr.Eric Cantona, love him or
loathe him, he is back with avengance after several months of sitting on
the  sidelines  after  kicking  a  supporter  in the terraces for racial
abuse.   His  return debut was eagerly awaited and where better to stage
his  return  at Anfield, home of the mighty Liverpool, which resulted in
one  of Man U best performances so far this season.  He was instrumental
in  their  win  and  Cantona  returned  to  claim his adoration from his
followers.   We'll have to wait and see what actually develops but if he
can  keep  that  Gaelic temper in check than I'm sure we're all in for a
treat.   Just  a  pass,  a clever flick can turn the game in an instance
resulting  in a goal.  I'm a big fan of Eric and admire his strength and
determination and playing ability.

  I'm  sure  the  "Old  Trafford"  faithful  will be on tenderhooks when
"Flashpoints"  occur  as they enevitably will, hopefully he'll just turn
his  back  and  walk away.  Alex Fergison treats him as his son and will
always  back  his  midfield  genius  what  with  Giggs,  Cole  and other
returning  to  fitness  Man  U  can only go from strength to strength, a
championship winning season perhaps?  I think there are several teams in
it  this  season  and  Newcastle  have  signed themselves another French
"Hero"  by  the name of David Ginola, again another Cantona, but without
that Firery passion.  But side by side they are identical skillful, good
technical players in which both give 110% to the game in which they play
something which our "Homegrown" talent lacks except for a handful.

  These players and others who've we've imported into our national sport
have  proved  without a shadow of adoubt that Europe and African nations
have  caught up and passed our players.  We're no longer the best in the
world although many people disagree, I think we've got to get a training
program starting a primary school level as our Foreign counterparts have
and  reclaim  our  national  pride  and  game!!   And  that concludes my
feelings on the football front.

  Another  thing  that  really  gets on my shoes is DOGSHIT, I know that
there are many more important things in life but this subject, but let's
take  it from the Dog's angle.  There he/she is walking with/without his
owner  and  "Fido"  needs  to go, so he chooses his spot squats his back
legs and leaves us a discusting foul mess, that we all try to avoid like
the  plague.   He's  got  no  where  else  to do it and I'm not going to
suggest  a  mass  building program of Dog Crappers, although it could be
worth  while  watching  your  local capture criminal cleaning them out!!
That  would  be  bad  enough  without having to worry about that but the
Dog's  graffitti  could  be  quite  funny  "Fido  Licks his own Bolloxs"
etc....   But  there  are  the  case  of the Dog and Owner together that
really  get up my nose or more to the point on the sole of my shoe where
we've all seen people standing there with their pooch while its taking a
crap  looking like a spare prick at a wedding.  Why can't they clean the
mess  up?   They would if it was one of there own kids and some of these
Canine  friends  get  treated better that some babies.  I don't know, it
makes  me so mad!!!  Alleyways or cut thru are the DOGS favorite toilet,
there's  one  alley  I  know,  and just the other day out of curiosity I
counted  the turds (you must understand I'm not in the habit of counting
dog turd) it just gave me the idea to write this piece.

  So  what  can we do about it?  Well we couldseal up all the dogs arses
in  the UK but I think the animal rights people would be slightly pissed
and  there  is  the problem that when the dog is full of shit they could
actually  start exploding (imagine that walking shit bombs) We'd have to
have  a  new  security job for the police called DSDT (DOG SHIT DESPOSAL
TEAM)  "Watch  out Frank she's gonna blow" Shit all over the place!!, so
maybe  sealing  up  the  dogs  arse  isn't  a  good idea.  So some local
councils  have  taken it on themselves to give out "Pooper Scoopers", so
when  you  take  your  dog for a walk you can clean up its mess.  Sounds
like  a brilliant idea to me, simplicity in itself.  By the way who ever
thought  up  the  "Pooper Scooper"deserves a medal just for the name, so
let  us  conclude that if you've a dog try to clean up its mess and then
your new trainers/shoes will be safe from the dog shit menace!!

To Be continued...